What do you think about MARRIED working moms?

Question

I'm doing a survey- I want to know what the reasons are mothers who are married go to work- besides the normal "financial" answers. This question specifically targets mothers who have to use either daycare or nannies. I would like to know what they actually take home monetarily after the child care is paid for and if that really makes a difference in the end? How many hours per day are they away from their children? and Do their husbands pressure them to go to work or do they beg them to stay home?

Answer 1

I'll get thumbs down, and women will hate me for saying this, but this is what I've seen and witnessed first hand, and this by ALL means does NOT mean ALL women:

From what I've seen, it's because no matter how much they say they love their kids, they love their job and self gratification at that job more. I say this because I've met many mothers who don't even need to work, and could take off and be with their kids and help raise them, but instead choose to keep working anyway.

Check this out: I know this one family who has two kids, have tons of money, but both work and have a nanny. The kids have incredibly poor behavior. When the mother is home, all she does is complain about the kids, saying things like, "I'm tired of this, I'm tired of their attitude", always whining about the kids but not actually RAISING them. She gets up the next day to work and complains that the husband doesn't disipline the kids enough. He just lets the kids do anything they want and deosn't actually parent.

It's almost as if the husband had kids just for her, and she wanted kids just because she doesn't want to die without having that experience, but they don't actually parent like real loving parents are suppose to. They love their own lives and jobs more.
I think thats a problem, and many parents are doing this more so today.

Answer 2

I'm not married yet and don't plan on having kids for a few years.

but I will work.
my BF wants our kids to go to catholic school, and he plans on working 3 doubles a week when we first have our kids. I'd rather him work less (like only one double or just limit it to 4 a month) and that means we need more money

but even if we were financially sound and living comfortably- I'd still work. I might then get to have more fun because I can take any position I want even if the pay is bad. I couldn't be stuck in the house all day. and even though I love kids, I'd love to have some alone time also.
and to have some adult time. I used to spend ten hours a day with my two little cousins- I was dying for someone who felt Sponge Bob wasn't really that intellectually interesting.

my bf wants me to work for the money- but he doesn't like daycare. so he has mixed views. I think he might ask me to stay home with them for a few years. and I can't do that. that would kill my career and I wouldn't be happy

Answer 3

Well im not married but I do have a son and work and when I do get married I do plan on still working. I think the whole stay at home mom thing is a lame excuse to get out of working and with the prices of things today and them getting higher each year eventually both husband and wife are going to have to work, most families have both parents working now because of how high prices are and they are just getting higher.

I am going to work when I get married because I want to be able to say I buy my own things and not feel as if im mooching off my husband , there is no excuse for a mom not working. There are too many resources if you have kids such as day care and after school programs.

My mom has rarely worked and she has been married to my dad for like 20 years and I have looked at her as a moocher and now it has really gotten to the point I think she is a serious moocher. Me and my older sister are over 18 and my little sister is 15 and stays after school till 4 or 5 in the afternoon for programs 4 days a week and when she is out of school she is always over her friends down the street so my mother really has no excuse for not working, it makes me mad when she says shes a stay at home mom because its like a stay at home mom to who? The only underage daughter she has is a 15 year old who is never home.

Answer 4

I think being a mom is hard enough sometimes, and that women should stick together and not attack everyone's choices.
I am a SAHM and a student, but I don't presume to know the life or finances of other people, nor is it my right to know these things. I have a friend whose husband is self employed and she works to provide them with decent health coverage. I also knew a lady who was another SAHM, but her kid was always dirty and sick. I think all she did was stay home and watch soaps. Isn't the point of being a SAHM to take care of your kids?
I've been a working mom before, and I would have loved to take care of my baby at home during that time. She stayed with my mom. I made very little money and received no welfare or government aid. I know how it is and I won't presume to be better than anyone because I am more fortunate today than I was before.

Answer 5

I work 8 1/2 hours a day. My daycare is 10 minutes from work and my son is dropped off by my husband, who starts work later than me. So our son isn't in daycare doesn't spend more than 8 hours at daycare. We have an in home (licenced) day care provider who's primarily infants and toddlers she can only have 6 kids at one time and she's able to spend the 1 on 1 time needed with each of her daycare kids. She keeps us very well informed of day to day activities and asks us before any major change or decision is made. We work very well together.

I have a 4 year college degree and make a decent amount of $ of which I don't feel comfortable sharing, but only spend $8,00 a year on daycare for the 1 child we have. It will be $1,600 a year when our next comes. So compared to what I make, it's not much to spend on daycare I still take home the majority of my paycheck. If we had a 3rd child, we'd have to reevaluate and see if I'm still taking home a significant amount.

My husband doesn't pressure me to work , but if I didn't we'd loose the house and car.

For us it's mostly financial...we've cut out what we can, but financially , I still have to work. He know's I really want to stay home, but we haven't found anything I can do from home to help will bills to the extent we need. We don't have credit card debt so when I say bills I mean, groceries, clothing for the kids (we rarely buy anything new for ourselves), gas, mortgage and car payments- he works far from our house so we have to have a reliable car for him. We are also saving to help our kids with college as part of our finances, so we could cut that out, but we want to help provide our kids with a good education or atleast help with one. And we are putting a little somthing away for retirement as well to supplement the 401K's we have at work.

Answer 6

Well i know why my mom worked. Although divorced now when she was married to my father i was a young child and me and my little sister had a nanny. she worked because she worked hard to obtain the position she had. first off she went to law school then she worked as an attorney and now shes a judge. so yes as far as the money goes its not like shes earning chump change so us having a nanny didnt exactly eat away her entire paycheck. especially now since me and my sister dont need a nanny anymore im glad she didnt stop working now we can get pretty much anything we want.and since my mom has worked hard in the beginning now shes a judge she only goes to work when she has hearings in december she only worked 3 days. so she gets 2 spend alot of time with my sis and i. oh and she said she loves the law!! so im assuming thats why mothers work other than the money they love what they do!!

Answer 7

i imagine its sturdy for women human beings to artwork outdoors the domicile so as that if some thing occurs ... Divorce or lack of existence of husband then they'll be in a position of have operating skills to help themselves. It also helps them have social interplay with different adults. typically remote from the little ones about 7 to 9 hours. Day care expenditures are a tax write off so on the top of the year it helps plenty. i extremely do not imagine that is as a lot because the husband to dictate what the lady does yet to help them.

Answer 8

Well in my home, My husband and I both work, But becuase I do not like anyone else watching my daughter , We work 2 different shifts. He works over night and I work during the day. Even though he never gets any sleep. Its still better then us having to pay or day care or someone else watching my baby!!

Answer 9

I'm 39, happily married, stepmom to a teen son, and a partner at a law firm. Reasons for working? Three generations of women who fought like hell to give me the right to go to law school, have my own income, and be in control of my life. Other reasons? I love my job, I studied for a good part of a decade to get to where I am, I love the challenge, the constant learning, adult interactions, and, of course, I like to enjoy the spoils 2 income lifestyle provides. :)

Stepson, when he was younger, spent his time in a private school with beach views and a nanny/sports coach afterwards. Every Friday I took him with me to the office, he liked to "play" with my papers and learned to argue pretty damn well.

Take home? Enough to live my dreams, and ensure that my parents and my stepson can live theirs. Hubby? My choice to work wasn't up for discussion. He loves his work and I wouldn't ask him to quit his work to stay home, so why should he ask me to do so?

Answer 10

my hubby and i work different shifts, so my son is only away from one of his parents for about 3 hours a day. i work because we need the money. after daycare expenses, i bring home about $1000. not a lot, but it helps. plus i have to work for medical insurance purposes. there is no way that we would be able to make ends meet without me working. my husband didn't pressure me to stay home or work, it is just know that i need to work because we need that money. plus it drives me nuts to be at home all the time.