How do you deal with the grief of putting a dog down?

Question

Being the co-director of a rescue, it's up to me and my partner to make the decision to take a dog into the rescue or not. One of our dogs that we had taken in, we were really attached to. He was older. He was adopted and was doing great with his family. The oldest son of the family, 10, was petting him, accidentally touched the dog's infected ear, and the dog turned around and snapped at him, catching a hold of the kid's face. Becuase of the dog bite, and a rabies scare that's going on here, Animal Control was called and demanded that the dog be put to sleep. (Please don't go on about dog breeds and vicious dogs, the dog was a lab). We were able to work it out to have our vet do it instead of Animal Control, that way, the family can be there to say good bye. I've never had to deal with this before. I was wondering, for those of you who have, how did you deal with it?

Answer 1

Heartbreaking, isn't it? I've lost eight dogs in my adult life - and they have all been difficult deaths, whether they were put to sleep or died of another reason.

You exhibited compassion for the animal and his family, which is the best thing you could have done. Giving your best is all anyone can ask for, and sometimes it's the hardest thing to do.

As with losing anyone you love, time is the key to healing. There is a Website that I have found that helps - at least you know you're not alone in your grief.

http://www.dogheaven.com

I wish you the best - the work you do is angelic.

Answer 2

The law is the law- sad but true. Human Safety is the highest concern. Rabies is a serious concern and a wounded animal even a pet is dangerous. Both were innocent in this case and saddly it ended bad for the dog and the beloved family of the pet.

I totally understand Animal Control, bite cases and human safety.
No matter the breed or handling of a dog. one in pain is dangerous and a child not educated is more dangerous.
I have scars from both.

The question about grief is for the parents to handle.
As a director you can offer advice, yet I would NOT get involved with the emotional states of the humans in your center. People are really crazy and weird about their animals. Not joking. For us it is a process, yet for them its personal.

As a parent- take it as an opportunity for growth.
I would talk to the child about the "cycle of life" and not give details of why the pet died. Just he did. Children will blame themselves for this loss, so be sure to let him know it was not because of him. {it wasn't- it was the law} "FLUFFY is in doggy heaven and still loves you very much". He told me to tell you , he was sorry for biting you. He was in pain, and now he is not in anymore pain. We will miss him. That is okay..

We often get the cremated remains of the dog and have a ceremony. You can ask AC for some, and say it is FLUFFY and have a service. That would have closure for a loved pet.
We suggestion "pet meorial services" with a happy picture of FLUFFY and sharing some happy memories.

I do not recommend a new pet for at least three months. They need to heal for the lose and the new one may not work for them.

Answer 3

First of all I am really sorry that things worked out the way they did. The loss of a pet in any circumstances is very upsetting. I have six dogs of my own and lost a pup (to illness) quite suddenly, that I had raised by hand. That was over six months ago. I still think about him daily as he was very special to me. For the first few days I was inconsolable. But for what it is worth it does get easier. Some people would not understand that animals can be just as precious to an owner as a relation or good friend might be.

When I get upset I make myself think of all the funny or loving things he did and they make me smile and am gratefull for those moments.

I could not even consider taking in another homeless pup for a long time, but two weeks ago I was brought a four week old bundle of fluff and couldn't refuse. He has turned in to a real delight and is thriving. Time will heal, I promise, so keep the happy thoughts, take a deep breath and think of the other dogs who will need you in the future.

Answer 4

First of all, I am so, so sorry for your loss. My dog had a very bad injury and had surgery this week, and I lived in fear all week of something going wrong and losing him...even the thought that someday I will lose my little guy is enough to break my heart. I cannot imagine what you are feeling. So, why was your buddy put down? He must have been suffering in some way...I cant see a vet euthanizing a dog simply because it was a rescue he, unless he was displaying dangerous aggression? Well, that's neither here nor there, I guess...but my point was that if he was suffering, it might help your grief if you remind yourself that he is no longer in pain. This might sound corny and stupid, but no matter how old you are, you could spend a special cuddle night with your new puppies...get them some special treats, let them snuggle into your bed and fall asleep, and make yourself a snack and rent the kid's movie "All Dogs Go to Heaven". I know how ridiculous this sounds, but last year my cousin, who is 29, had to finally put her dog Osco to sleep. She had had him since she was 16, and she loved that dog like mothers love their kids. She was completely grief-stricken, and even missed a week of work. Later that month, we all saw how depressed she still was, so a bunch of her girlfriends and cousins brought over that movie and watched it with her as part of a little "party" we organized for her to celebrate Osco's life. We all shared a funny memory of Osco. This was our way of acknowledging that this dog played a big part in her life. It meant a lot to her, and gave her a little closure since it was like a memorial ceremony in a way. Find ways to remember your dog. You could even start a little fundraiser or a dog food/toy drive to benefit a local animal shelter in your dog's name. Turn your grief into something positive. Personally, I've found that this was the best way to honor two people in my life who I lost, so I'm sure it would work equally well in grieving the loss of Your beloved pet as well.

Answer 5

Well for one..i don't understand why the animal control folks did not ask for a quarantine period. Ok..the dog bit the kid but that doesn't necessarily mean that the dog is vicious nor that it has rabies. That sounds like it is totally unnecessary...where on earth do you live that the authorities have those rights? Oh that is just too sad. But as far as grieving..i really can't tell you other than you should maybe start a program to do away with the laws where you live.

Answer 6

Is it possible to just refuse? It would seem that the decision would be up to the family since it was their kid who got bit - and what kind of bite? A really BAD one or did the dog nip? That makes a difference.

This seems to be a grave injustice and I'm not sure I'd let go of my dog w/o a fight.

...there isn't really a way to "deal" with it. Time and memories is what you can use to console yourself.

If the dog has had all his shots how is there a rabies threat? Regardless of an outbreak?

Good Luck and Best Wishes

Answer 7

I'm sorry. It's very hard to deal with, especially if it's not related to the dog directly suffering. I had to have an older Pit put down a few weeks ago. She was about 9 yrs old and her name was Piggy. I had gotten her from some people who left her outside all her life and in a lot; she had sores all over because of the conditions. She was fed table scraps with rotted her teeth out. She was very obese too. When I got her, I began getting her health up and spending a lot of time with her. She was so sweet and fun and she loved babies (human and animal). When I moved, the landlord did not want us to have dogs inside. I knew that I could not make her suffer a cold winter and knew that I had to have her put down. Understand that she was also getting very senile and going blind. She also had severe arthritis from being left outside for years. It was very sad and we all still miss her.

It's hard to get over, but keeping yourself busy or looking back at funny pictures and talking about fun times or their unique personality really helps.

Answer 8

I am so sorry. I have worked with animals for years and years including 8 in a vet hospital and putting 6 of my own to sleep. I wish, oh how I wish I had an answer for you. You just do the best you can, it is not easy and your heart hurts. I am so sorry.

Answer 9

Time.It takes time to come to terms with the whole thing. I've put sick dogs down knowing they were better off. I did have to put one aggressive dog down. It was the absolutely the hardest thing I've had to deal with since she wasn't aggressive all the time. I still wonder about "what ifs" but I know she's in a far better place now no matter why she is there.

Answer 10

I had to put my dog to sleep b/c of an inoperable tumor, I know it's not the same thing, but it's hard to say goodbye to them. It took me a good while to get over it and I still miss him, but eventually you just stop thinking about it and move on. I know you are probably miserable right now, but just give it a few weeks and you will feel better and know that you did the right thing.