My boyfriend is 26 hes a 1st LT we have been talking about getting married because he might be getting stationed in Germany! So when we were in the midwest at Christmas with his family he said we will go to the court house if I get the job because I wont go without you. But now it looks like he is going to be getting the job and it stresses me out and scares me cause he will be gone for 2 years. When he told me I stayed strong and I was kidding and I said you cant go without me and he said well you cant go. So I dont know if he is just saying that or if he is going to propose and hes just trying to throw me off. Then this weekend I finally broke down and we both started crying and he said "you mean the world to me and I know that your the women I want to merry, I just dont know what to do." We both cryed most of the weekend. He said he wanted to avoid the talk because he doesnt know if hes going to get the job or not! I just dont know how to take all of this im scared more than anythi
2007-02-06 06:01:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
He just called and he got his orders and he is going to Germany!! :(
2007-02-06 06:40:48 · update #1
don't ask, don't tell?
2007-02-06 06:04:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, deployment is not a reason to get married.
second, if he is sure he wants to marry you, then he will propose. if not, then don't pressure him into something that YOU want, but he may not.
third, if he will miss you that much, then he can probably decline the job and do something else.
it sounds to me like he isn't ready to go down the marriage path, yet, so, don't pressure him.
i'm a marine wife and i understand deployments. if you do get married, then keep in mind that there will be times when he will be gone for long periods and you can't go along. my husband is about to deploy for about 7 months and he'll miss our son's first b-day. it's sad. we'll miss him, but life goes on here. we don't stop living just b/c he's not here.
look, it is hard when you want to be together and something like uncle sam gets in the way. however, there is rarely a marriage without speed bumps. if you get through his deployment, then maybe your realtionship is solid. if you don't then you know it probably wouldn't have lasted.
our neighbors just moved b/c he got deployed to japan for 1.5 years and she couldn't go. so, she went back home to live with their daughter until he comes back.
i hate to be harsh, but it's military life. either suck it up and deal with it or find another solution. no sense in crying over something that can't be changed.
i hope you find the right path.
take care.
2007-02-06 14:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You COULD get a passport and fly over there and get married, IF he really wants to. You'll love Germany and the people. My brother did 2 tours there...he and his wife have been back 2 times since he retired.
2007-02-06 14:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Germany is very much not a dependent restricted tour. The only way he'll be there for less than three years as an officer is if you're married and he volunteers for you not to go.
2007-02-06 14:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by DOOM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him marry him and go along with him. If you are scared about it than stay and move on with your life. It sounds to me like you are very confused. You still have a lot of life to live. Either way I am sure you will be happy.
2007-02-06 22:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are not ready to be married for you cannot make decisions on your own. I checked your questions asked and you have 19 questions in there about asking us What Do You Think. My question to you is What do you think, it is your life. Grow up and be a little more secure in your decisions. You are a very insecure person, I do know that!
2007-02-06 14:17:44 · answer #6 · answered by tbird 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why he is saying he can't take you. Germany is a duty station that allows dependents. If you love each other, go for it.
2007-02-06 14:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by armywifetp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you as much as he says he does, then nothing should be holding him back from marrying you - nothing at all!
No job is more important that what you have!
2007-02-06 14:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Theresa J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two are far too emotional to make such a decision.
You need to sit tight and wait and see what happens.
2007-02-06 14:10:20 · answer #9 · answered by Jack Chedeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are still together after the deployment then its ment to me.
2007-02-06 14:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PUT THIS IN THE LOVE SECTION. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MILITARY. HE'S A SOLDIER AND HE GOES WHERE IS NEEDED.
2007-02-06 14:11:55 · answer #11 · answered by strike_eagle29 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋