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My mom is not good with money. I have helped her in the past but she continues to have financial problems. She is raising my neice because my sister left with her boyfriend and is a drug addict so I feel like I should help my mom since she is raising my neice. I am recently married to a wealthy man, I am in graduate school and have no children or money of my own. I have high credit card limits with no credit card balances...should I go into debt to help my mom?

2007-02-06 06:00:58 · 32 answers · asked by transpersonalpsychologist 1 in Family & Relationships Family

32 answers

I really don't think so. Since your mom is not good with money, why even give her more to waste. Perhaps the best thing to do would be work with her--like take control of bill paying, go to grocery store with her, in other words, guide her like she did you when you were little. Regardless of how much money you have access to, it won't help her if she doesn't learn self control and discipline in her life. She does deserve emotional support for her and your niece, but to just hand over money is like trying to empty the ocean with a spoon. good luck!!!!

2007-02-06 06:24:14 · answer #1 · answered by ditto 1 · 2 0

Don't go into debt, but do help your mother. Give her what you can, when you can; don't push your limits. Secondly, you say that you are recently married to a wealthy man, are you not working? Maybe you can get a small job, keep some of the money for yourself and give some to your mom. It would be good for both of you. You should have some of your own money.

Even if your mom is not good with money, does not mean you should not help her. Raising a child is very costly, and maybe there is a reason that she does not have money. Sounds like you have never paid bills and things completely on your own. It's very difficult. Help your mom.

2007-02-06 06:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0 0

You should not ruin you credit to help your mom. There has to be another way to help her. Some debt people have are because they where buying things that they didn't need to. Why don't you try maybe taking your neice in for a while and maybe mom can get back on her feet. Talk about different things that you can do to help with out messing you up.

2007-02-06 06:08:56 · answer #3 · answered by rain9439 2 · 0 0

"My mom is not good with money. I have helped her in the past but she continues to have financial problems."

That is a problem that needs to be resolved if you're going to help her again. You can't constantly be source of funding, especially if the money is really coming from the bank or your husband. If it requires you slaughtering your credit to help, then too much is being asked for, unless you really want to be in her sinking boat.

Has she looked into government assistance? You may need to do some fighting to legally establish guardianship between her and your niece (if it hasn't happened already), but once it's established, there's lot of help available.
There are also many money management classes available for free or cheap. You should attend a couple classes together. I suggest going along to make she does go, provide support in setting a good budget, and learn some things for yourself.

If your mom still needs help and you're sure you can give it, aim for taking care of specific things. Don't just dump the money in her hands. No matter what good intentions, few people can honestly say they used gift money for only it's intended purposes.

2007-02-06 06:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by erythisis 4 · 0 0

Absolutely not. You will come to resent her and it will affect your relationship. If your mom needs help, pay the electric bill, get a gift card to the grocery store, buy clothes for your niece. Ultimately if you go into financial debt for your mom you will be responsible for it. It doesn't sound like you should do that. Try to help in other ways. Watch your niece for your mom while she takes a second job. Move in with your mom and share rent/mortage. DON'T let your mom ruin your credit. Get your mom credit/financial counseling. Some local companies offer this service for free or very little charge. Good luck and God Bless.

2007-02-06 06:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0 0

Yes, but I would only do it if she allows you to get her financial counseling. She could gain some budgeting tools to help her balance her money to even save a little. SO, yes if you are in good shape then help her out, she is a good mom or she would not have agreed to support and raise the grand daughter. I feel bad for grand parents that have to spend their retirement years caring for their children's kids out of pure obligation. Here is another option. You could adopt your sister child and take on the responsibility yourself. A really unselfish act that your mom has been able to take on. See what I mean, she needs your help and you can provide it. Sorry your sister is ill and I hope she will recover soon.
Tracylyn S

2007-02-06 06:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 0 0

no no no! DO NOT go into debt because of your mother. If you want to help, help by buying food for your niece or spend a little more on Birthdays or X-mas.
You need your credit score for the future! Plus, if your in College you need every penny! Nevermind your rich husband's money. You'll need that money later for homes, cars, children, and children's college and retirement! Your mother is just fine, shes a big girl and if she cant manage her money its not your fault! Just help in the little ways! Good Luck!

2007-02-06 12:15:21 · answer #7 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 0 0

i imagine the tale of your mom being put in detention middle over the mastercard debt isn't one hundred% the reality. I have not in any respect heard of a "for authentic" debtor's penal complex. frequently, the mastercard corporation sues the guy who would not pay, and then garnishes their wages (skill takes area of what they make at artwork before they get their verify to pay again the invoice). Now, if she ran up mastercard debt less than some different person's call, that can make better experience, it really is fraud, and that is a criminal offense. Dad will be ready to preserve this example. He ought to decide on to flow to the branch of human amenities and get on welfare for slightly, yet he nonetheless can preserve this.

2016-12-03 19:33:43 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

This is a tough one because your mom raised you. However, if she's bad with money that's something else. You should help your mom out but be careful not to let her become solely dependent on you. You should sit her down as well and tell her exactly how you feel about her way of handling money and offer to get her help/counseling in doing better with money. But all in all, she is your mom and if you've got it, you should help her, God only knows what she probably went through in order to raise you. Also pray unceasingly for her as well.

good luck

2007-02-06 08:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by Slim Shady 5 · 1 0

No. Under no circumstances should you put yourself in debt. The choices your mother has made are her own, and it is her fault that she cannot handle her money wisely. You might suggest she go to talk with someone about it, a financial advisor ( so that she might make some money). Do not put yourself in debt, no matter what your mother wants.

2007-02-06 07:12:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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