What would you do if your childs stepmom said this to your 6 year old......?

Question

Babies are made when a guy sticks his penis into your vagina!
My friends daughter came home to her with this statement and then she jumped between her legs and mimicked how it's done. She said that her stepmom told her this.
Do you think that's right? To tell a 6 year old those details?

She told her ex husband and he laughed it off like there was nothing wrong with what was said.
I personally think it is sick to tell a child that age something like that. I told her she should be worried when her daughter is around boys now and maybe getting curious. That would be my biggest fear!!!

Answer 1

It's bad enough that she said that to a 6-year-old, but the fact that the child mimicked the behavior leads me to believe that she has witnessed the act - whether it was live or on tv, and whether the adults realized it, we don't know.

My immediate thought is "report to DHS". But that will be opening a huge can of worms, as you can imagine. For me, as a parent, the decision would be be based on whether I thought it was a case of stupid stepmom who really didn't mean any harm, or an ongoing situation of the child being exposed to sexual acts and sexual talk.

Answer 2

I think honesty is best with children, however, age appropriate information is a must! Using the appropriate names, penis and vagina is important so that they are comfortable using them and not embarrassed. However, a child that age does not need the details. This is simple Psychology 101. There are some great books on this subject you might want to check out at your local book store. As for the way the step mother handled this, I have no doubt that I would have been upset. Take a step back before talking to both her and the ex husband. Then as them to meet you for coffee at a neutral place to discuss how you will all handle such questions. Remember not to attack either of them verbally...you'll get a lot further and build a better line of communication.

Answer 3

I'd like to give this woman the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the daughter accidentally witnessed sexual activity going on (television, perhaps) and then asked her stepmom what she saw. And then maybe the stepmom very appropriately explained what sex is, which created that horrific visual you got to witness. Maybe. Or maybe the stepmom was completely out of line. Then there's the not-so-innocent possibility. Usually children that young do NOT have that much of an understanding about sex unless there is some form of sexual abuse going on. If you suspect that this is quite possibly the case, please report it to CPS anonymously. If not, please talk to the stepmother about what your child learned and what you saw from her stepdaughter. She needs to know that her child is repeating this very private act to other children and that it does NOT look good in her favor. Don't do it in an accusing way- tell her as a concerned friend and parent.

Answer 4

Well first and foremost, it's not the job of the stepmom to tell the little girl how babies are made. It's all up to her mother. It's definately not right. As far as the details go, that's up to the parents, also. If her mom were to tell her "Babies are made when a man sticks his penis into a WOMAN'S vagina" that's up to her. But the thing the girl's step mom said was " ...YOUR vagina". I think it was wrong of her to put it that way.

Your friend should complain. I'd be furious and I'd hope the step-mom knows how wrong it was to reveal soemthing like that to a 6 year old who isn't even hers

Answer 5

It's called too much information (for that age). But I wouldn't panic over it, that only makes the situation worse. I'm not sure why everyone gets so upset over the idea that kids might be curious about sex. What do they think is going to happen? 6 year olds don't have a sex drive. They can't get pregnant. I'd just stress the love and grown-up factors, and simply watch to be sure the little tyke wasn't upset over the knowledge too soon imparted. I'd also ask what prompted this disclosure in the first place. Maybe there's a question still unanswered.

Reminds me of the story of the little boy who wanted to know where he came from. His father sat him down and gave him a long birds-and-bees lecture, with all the gory details. Then he asked if that answered his son's question. The boy said, "I'm not sure. Billy said he came from Cleveland."

Answer 6

WOW, for a 6 year old that's a bit to much. I do agree with being honest and using the correct names with body parts, its not vulgar, its just correct terms for parts of the human body. HOWEVER! The acting out of the motions, WAY out of line! I am a step mom and would NEVER show or tell children anything about where babies come from unless the parent was there too. Step parents are to support the natural parent, not be the parent. That's is something you should talk to the child's father about, if this is your child. I personally would be a bit MAD! There should be boundaries set in place by not only you the Mom and the child's father.

Answer 7

I don't think that was the right way and honestly I don't think the stepmom has any right to discuss that issue with the child unless the mother is out of the picture.

Answer 8

That was inappropriate and you need to explain to her that what her step mom told her is only part of it. There must be true love and respect in order for God to understand and bless them with a child. The physical acts are much more beautiful and graceful. Ask her to please come to you with questions in the future because it would mean a lot to you.

Answer 9

I think it is very inappropriate. My daughter is 7 and all I've told her is that when people love each other then from that love a baby is a gift from God. I would definitely inform the custodial parent about the conversation and express you concern about the whole thing.

Answer 10

That is horrible. Have a very long talk with the step mom and dad and let them know you will not stand for this and if things like this continue you will have their custody revoked.