I'm only 17 and don't really know...but my best friend is having a really hard time at home and her father threatens to beat her with a belt to get her to listen ='(. She is absolutely terrified. She starts to cry and shakes when he says things to her and tried to run away once when he did it...but he said "Who are you gonna tell? Nobody can do anything about it...it's my form of punishment. And, i can run a whole heck of a lot faster than you"......All she did was use the telephone when she wasn't supposed to. It has been ongoing. I need help =( Is it abuse?
2007-02-06 05:27:01 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes. Tell anothe adult, like one of her teachers.
2007-02-06 05:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by debisbooked 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on people. Everybody wants to talk about how spanking kids is abuse. The act of spanking is not abuse. I believe if you spank to the point were the child has deep bruises then I can say I think that is abuse. We are so overly concerned with abuse that we have handicapped parents when it comes to raising our children. All one has to do is look at our current climate and realize what it has become. When I was growing up everyone got their butts tanned and I can tell you kids didn't do half the stuff they do now. I mean if my son called my wife/his mother a female dog and thought I would talk to him afterwards he would be sadly mistaken. Sometimes a lil spank or a beat down is in order. It teaches them that if you do something you are not suppose to bad things are gonna happen and sometimes those bad things aren't gonna be so nice to you. And as far as I can tell threats of a spanking from a parent is not child abuse. Maybe if she did what she was suppose to she wouldn't have to be shaking and crying because she gonna get that booty spanked. LOL! That is so funny. I remember when if I did something wrong I got spanked by almost every adult in my family. I mean whats the big deal of some spnking going on just as long as you don't break any bones or cause any deep bruises.
2007-02-06 14:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by Wordsmith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one. It sounds like her father may be "old school" where parents used a good spanking (or threats of one) to get their children to behave. It sounds as if he has done this before. I'm wondering where her mother is and also what has your friend's behavior been to provoke such threats and actions from her dad? Are there other forms of abuse in the home ~ alcohol or drugs?
I am by no means condoning "beating a child"; simply trying to understand all of the facts. A parent certainly has the right to discipline their child if they are not behaving or making poor choices.
Your friend could seek the advice of a clergyman (bound by confidentiality) or a school counselor (may not be bound to confidentiality depending on the circumstances). Either way, I think she should seek the counsel of an adult and perhaps arrange for some family counseling, to include her dad.
You sound like a good friend and your friend is lucky to have you. Best wishes to you both.
2007-02-06 14:38:33 · answer #3 · answered by DOOL64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is and if your tell me where this idiot lives I will make him wish he did not own that belt. As a mom I feel the mom is equally responsible. Why is she allowing this to happen to her daughter? They need to both be brought up on charges and the friend should be removed from the home. If I were your friend I would take pictures of any marks left on her body by the dad and if she get beat again you should tell your mom what is happening to her and get some help for her to have a place to run to in time of crises. Teachers, Principles and school counselors by law have to report allegations of parental abuse of a child as well. Your friend is 17 years old, any court would allow her to chose a different place to live if she can find that kind of support.
Tracylyn S
2007-02-06 13:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is abuse. It's not child abuse until he actually hits her with the belt. What he's doing to her is called emotional abuse. Have your friend talk to a counsler about what's been going on at home. If she doesn't feel comfortable talking to a counsler have her sit down and talk to you or your parents about it. Be supportive and listen to her. If your friend fears for her saftey then she should call the police. I understand that he is her father, but he shouldn't be treating her that way. Good Luck.
2007-02-06 14:14:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is abuse, as much for his mind games as for the belting. He has no right to rule his house with such tyranny.
Grab your local phone book and look up Children & Family Services. Call them and explain the situation. Also, you can go to a teacher, a school counselor, or dean and explain that she is being mentally and physically abused, and you are concerned for her safety. The school is required by law to report the situation and seek help for her.
Some people will tell you that belting is just like spanking and never did them any harm... but it does exceed the legal limit of physical discipline, and he is just being a jerk.
2007-02-06 13:34:51 · answer #6 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is abuse. You need to help her out with this. When you tell someone make sure she isn't going to be home or going to go home the day the authorities go to her house. This could present real problems. If her dad gets angry for being outed he is liable to take it out on her. You don't want that to happen. Ask your friend if she wants it to stop and what she is willing to do to make it stop. This seems silly but many times people don't want anything to be done about it and things just get worse for the victims because they told someone. She has to be willing to tell the authorities about it and get out of the house. If she isn't willing to do those things you aren't going to be able to help her very much. Good Luck.
2007-02-06 13:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by Crys L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is abuse. Choices:
1. A school counselor if you and she are in the same school.
2. Child protective services. go to google and type in "child protective services" and choose the sight that best represents where you live.
2007-02-06 13:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by Bullfrog21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that to be threatened to be abused is cause for alarm. If she is that scared then I think that someone should be called. There is no reason for her to live in fear like that. Talk to someone to see what you can do as a friend to help her as best you can. If nothing else ask for to come for sleepovers w/you for the weekend if it will help.
2007-02-06 13:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by reddchilds 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it is, but only the experts can tell for sure.
I would call child protection services or have an adult do it for you.
They will step in and decided if it is abuse or not.
2007-02-06 13:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by Cuppycake♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, even if he doesnt beat her with the belt, its mental abuse. I know your friend most likely told you not to tell anyone but you have to. tell your parents. they can help you without getting you in trouble with your friend. even if she gets mad at you, your still doing it for her own good. someday she will realize that. your not gossiping a seacret, you are trying to protect her. If for some reason your not comforable going to your parents, go to a teacher, guiedance counciler at school.ect. or else get her to tell someone.
2007-02-06 13:39:11 · answer #11 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋