I have been with my boyfriend for a year and four months. We knew each other before that as he was my manager, but that business has since closed down and we no longer work together. We are both 22 (23 in April/May). This is his first relationship and my past relationships have ended after only two months each (except one, I tried to break it off after two months and he cried). We both feel we are in this for the long haul. Overall, I love him and do not question in my heart he feels the same way. In March we want to move into an apartment together with a 13 month lease. We both are going to put our names on the lease so only one person isn't held responsible in case we do break up. I had no hesitations about this until a guy at work said it was a horrible idea and how he has never known a couple to last when they rent an apartment. He says it will only end badly. Is he just a negative jerk or are we being naive and jumping into this too quickly?
2007-02-06 05:22:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have talked about getting engaged and marriage. We simply have a time line for ourselves that we would like to go along with if things progress as well as they have so far. Our time line pretty much consists of:
Living Together
Getting Engaged
Finishing College
THEN Getting Married
Getting an apartment together does tie us in with each other legally, but not as much so if we were to get married. Why would I get married if I haven't even had a chance to live with the person?
2007-02-06 06:08:23 · update #1
Well if you think this is for the long haul, maybe you should consider marriage a more permanent arrangement. If you are not ready for this kind of commitment you do not need to buy/lease anything together. Seems like you are going into this with the attitude if it don't work out we'll move on in our separate ways. But if you can't commit to each other, well, it's doomed before it's started. Studies show that marriages between people that lived together before marriage end in divorce more times that not. Just be careful. Good luck!
2007-02-06 05:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's important to live together before marriage, so I'm ignoring what the first person said. I think it would be better if the lease was in only one of your names (him if he's earning more) just because in the unlikely event that you do break up, things can get really messy... (Seen the movie? Do you really want to go there?) I'm not saying that this will happen, it just seems more logical to put the lease in only one of your names. You'll both pay the equal rent and what not, it's just that in a legal sense it is more simple. You love each other, even if you were to break up, I'm sure you could still solve this amicably. Basically, I think living together is the right step to take - living together is HUGELY different to just dating, and a lot of couples break up in this stage because it's such a shock. Go into it with your eyes open, be aware and accepting of each others faults, but protect yourselves at the same time. Good luck with your relationship and the new apartment :)
2007-02-06 05:38:18 · answer #2 · answered by L ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you two moving in together? Is it to save money? or are you actually just ready for the next step. Living together is very hard you have to understand that its not going to be easy or happy all the time. You have to get used to alot and if your relationship isn't very solid then it might fall apart. Not saying that it will but just be prepared for everything. And maybe start off with a 6 month lease and see how it goes before commiting yourself for a year and a month.
2007-02-06 05:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by Learn2LoveMe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in an EXTREMELY similar situation as you. I was this girl's supervisor. I got a different job. We started dating. We were together a while and then moved in together. We were together for a total of two years. We shared the apartment for about eleven months. She broke up with me, but still paid her one half of that one month of rent, even though she didn't live there. That was honest of her. I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a discussion and talk realistically about what would happen if you did break up. Is it a one bedroom? We stayed together in a one bedroom for a few nights after we broke up thinking we'd just stay for the last month. She ended up staying at her dad's the rest of the time. I would just make sure you can trust him in that he won't screw you. Yes, you would definitely be able to get your money back if he did try to screw you, but the cost of litigation would almost make it not worth while. I am a firm believer that a couple should live together before they get married, just to make sure they won't drive each other nuts. So I say go for it. Maybe try to get a shorter lease?
2007-02-06 05:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is one of the worst possible things you can do.
And, when everything shakes down and he skips out, YOU are the one the Apartments will come after for the rent. Just because 2 names are on a lease DOES NOT mean that the Apartments are going to divide your debt up in 2. No way. They are going to put a judgment on BOTH of your credit reports.
I'm sorry to tell you that these sorts of things usually end up on Judge Judy, with me laughing the whole time.
2007-02-06 05:30:26 · answer #5 · answered by clever nickname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the two of you. any relationship can go sour no matter if your living together or not. so all you can do is try. yes it's a good idea to have both names on the lease so one or the other isn't stuck. make sure the both of you are in agreement on who's paying for what and you have everything in writing. ALWAYS keep track of expences in writing in case something does go wrong then you will have proof to protect you!! i know it sounds bad but you have to always protect yourself no matter that you love the person or not. GOOD LUCK hope the two of you stay happy!!
2007-02-06 05:31:19 · answer #6 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst that can happen is that both of you are evicted for a lease violation. Good luck ever finding a decent place that will rent to you for many years
2016-05-23 23:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, follow your heart on this one. If you feel like it's gonna work out, then go for it. For example, l moved in with my boyfriend after dating for about 1 month (although the circumstances kind of made it that way) and we bought a house after we had been together for about 4 months. That was about a year and a half ago, and we are still together and growing strong.
Your co worker might have some reasons to try to dissuade you to do this, but if you feel deep in your heart that you 2 can make it, then go ahead and do it.
Good luck to you
2007-02-06 05:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hope this puts you at ease. I have put my name on an apartment before with a GF and the relationship only flourished. No fight, nothing. Its a great test to see how or if things will work out in the long run
2007-02-06 05:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your co-worker is a bit of a cynic. Personally, I would wait until you are 100% sure that this is the guy you want to marry, or until he is sure enough to ask you, because if you move in with him, you're giving him the benefits of marriage without the committment. Just take lots of time to think about it before you make a decision, because it is a big step.
2007-02-06 05:27:02 · answer #10 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋