My wife was married before to a man that was very abusive towards her (I saw the police report) it was so bad that she was automatically granted a three year restraining order against him. She was fed up because her ex husband was having an affair with the brides maid which they are currently together and expecting to have a child soon. However, she having to pay child support and doesn't seem to have a desire to get custody of her son. I notice till this day she is very submissive to him always asking for permission for visitation. She even let it go at the mediation. In addition her ex has abused another woman and she gave my wife documenation of her abusive experience to submit in court but my wife didn't do it. It pisses me off and I like to know why doesn't she stand up to him and bring her son into our home where there is no abuse?
2007-02-06 05:18:10 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can fully understand your frustration and it's good to know that there are real men in the world. What you want to do is this. Be very very very gentle with your wife on the topic. Let her know that you understand that the roots of abuse run deep but that she's got you now and you'll be there for her always. Show her all of the advantages that her son would have should he come live you guys. Let her know you are willing to adopt him if that will make her more comfortable. Do this over a period of time but not so very often that it will seem as if you are pushing her to it. She needs to come to terms with this on her own, especially after coming out of a relationship where she was forced to do this. You need to do this on your own as well, do not solicit help from anyone. You are a good guy and that will win out in the end. Be patient and most of all PRAY unceasingly on it as well.
Good luck!
2007-02-06 08:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by Slim Shady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank god for men like u that dont abuse women. Problem is with some women they become a closed book because the damage runs so deep they simply cant handle it not even to talk about it. Prehaps u could try to encourage her to help this other women. Ive been there to only 4 yrs ago and if i found out that he is abusing other women i would help cause i know im not the first. As regards the child maybe she is and does want her child back by the way she is being submissive to him but when youve been abused fear also runs deep.
2007-02-06 14:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me from the information that you have given that you are aware of how threatening her ex is especially if she had to get a restraining order for three years.The man has a death grip on her she is afraid for her son and probably her life.
Therapy may help love will help but most of all patience.
2007-02-07 00:00:02 · answer #3 · answered by Marla D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes afraid. he still has some kind of controll over her. no one can do it but her. she just has to be ready. Dont hound her but bring it up occatonally. Sounds like you really cre a lot for her, and your step son.
2007-02-06 14:32:28 · answer #4 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's weak. Who does she think she is? Superwoman? She ought to stand up for herself against his abuse. He's never gonna change anyway, so why tolerate? Sorry, but I really hate weak women. If they don't help themselves, nobody will.
2007-02-06 13:57:47 · answer #5 · answered by Hanna 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋