Come on i am bored...........?

Question

I am really bored anyone got any good jokes to give me a chuckle!!!!!

Answer 1

okay..

A Panda walked into a café. He ordered a sandwich, ate it, pulled out a gun and shot the waiter. “Why?” groaned the injured man. The panda shrugged, tossed him a badly punctured wildlife manual and walked out. And surely enough, when the waiter consulted the book, he found an explanation. “Panda,” ran the entry for his assailant, “Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”


On his first day, a new comer to prison heard the other inmates roar with laughter each time one of them called out a number. Mystified by this, he asked a cellmate what was happening. “We know our jokes so well that, to save time retelling them, we’ve numbered them”, he was told. Thinking he would join in, the new comer shouted “208”. To his amazement, the whole prison shook with laughter. The cellmate wiped tears from his eyes and commented “We hadn’t heard that one before.”


Homer: Marge? Since I’m not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will pass the syrup if it wont be used on meat product.
Bart: You dunkin’ your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you’re ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mom, for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you’re not not-talking to me and secondly, I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, Dad, Lisa’s the one you’re not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.


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PS: ur answer about muslims and sharia laws.. reconsider it please