My girl and i just split up friday, i'm so gone, i can't work, sleep, eat, think. i can't focus. My boss is very understanding so it's not so bad. I feel like no one cares, and when i go home i'm alone. i feel dead inside. i love her so much still. sometimes i can't believe this is happening. do i have to right to mope around like i do, and cry all the time like i do?
2007-02-06 05:08:44 · 20 answers · asked by aphotic nostrum 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no i didn't do anything to end the relationship, i was very loyal and very loving. This is where i'm lost, this did get sour and things just fell apart, and it all happened so fast i couldn't keep up with. I do love her still, i called her today cause her bills still come to this address, she doesn't want to work anything out yet that i know of. It was more mutual, she seems to be doing alot better than i am.
2007-02-06 05:17:47 · update #1
i was at work then at school i was gone alot, when i got home i was so happy to se but she was always so pissed at other things that happened during the day, we would go out and be miserable, it wasn't always like this she started saying i had no common sense, i was always so tired, god i miss her so much
2007-02-06 05:55:16 · update #2
no i've lost her she made that very clear to me....and it hurts so bad
2007-02-06 17:45:13 · update #3
Yes, it's natural for you to be so down and broken. My heart goes out to you. The first three days are the hardest, but your sadness will persist for awhile. After three days (and that would be Tuesday, right?), do your best to carry on. Force yourself to drink morning coffee, go to work, slog on. It will feel like slogging through heavy mud, but keep on keeping on. Call your closest friends and let them know what has happened. (Try to be (Don't just telbrief---don't have a pity party.) They will probably respond by inviting you out for a meal, or to see a ball game or do something fun. Go.
You say that you were loyal and loving; unfortunately I suspect that she has met someone else. Maybe not, maybe she is just restless. In any case, keep your distance--do not grovel or beg her to return. You deserve a full reciprocal relationship with someone who wants to be with you. She may come back, she may not.
Whatever happens, you will emerge from this period as a stronger, more compassionate person. Best of luck to you!
From what you've added, I think the two of you can work this out. But I must re-iterate: Don't grovel, don't beg her to come back. Perhaps sometime soon she will agree to meet you in a neutral location where you can talk it out. You need to ask for her patience, and you need to explain clearly to her that you are working, as well as going to school to have a better future for both of you. It's more than a little unfair of her to unload all her troubles on you when you get home after a long, long day. She needs girlfriends! She needs to be supportive of you and not drag you down, so she'll need to vent to friends about her own small troubles. (Don't just tell her this flatly, though. Gently lead your discussion and make her feel that she figured it out!)
You sound like a wonderful, caring guy and I hope you two can be reunited.
2007-02-06 05:20:00 · answer #1 · answered by ragged 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is always common if you really love this person. However why did you to break up? Are you even more sad because there is a sense or regret? If the relationship got sour and is now over then I am sorry but this happens. If you did something that ended it then you have to deal with it. However no matter what know and be happy you were in that relationship and love her very much. Learn from the mistakes made in the relationship and think about what you want. Once you are able to understand and be happy with it you will not care anymore and then you will be able to move on.
2007-02-06 05:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by Tim VP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four years is a long time to invest in a relationship. I'm sorry you're hurting.
This is all very new for now so take your time. But know that there will come a time when you will look back without pain, hard as it is to imagine. For now you can expect to feel bad for some weeks still.
One way to try and get some of your feelings out and stop the thinking is to write it down. Pretend you are writing a letter to her if you like, but don't send it!
Also - get out and walk or go to gym, play a sport. Use your negative energy to get your blood flowing.
After a month or so you should try to make some new friends and get some interests outside of your comfort zone.
One day you'll look back at this and it will be like a bad dream.
2007-02-06 05:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by Pegasus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has the right to express the way they feel. Four years is a long time. If you are hurting, the best thing to do is to let it out and then let it go. I know it sounds tough, but it CAN happen and it does happen. Just be strong and everything will be fine. I'm sad about my breakup with my man...it's been about a month and I still cry sometimes, but I keep telling myself that it happened for a reason and that I love myself and that's all that I need in this world. You'll be okay...trust me...life does have a habit of moving on...just make sure you move along with it.
2007-02-06 05:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by Emerald 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would like to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this much painful time. 4 years is long enough for a couple to get to know each other and see if this person is the one you are willing to be with for the rest of your life. Depending your age, a lot of young people just grow apart. Did your girlfriend tell you why she broke up with you? Unfortunately, there is not way out of feeling the pains of a broken heart, only time is your best healer. All you are going through, feelings of loneliness, feeling no one cares or understands are normal when going through this. But this is the time to reach out to others for love and support. Try not to isolate yourself too much. Be happy your boss is so understanding. But you do have the responsibility to find ways to deal with your pain in a way where it is not affecting your personal life, such as your job. Moping around although is expected for a while, it is not good for too long a time as it can lead to prolong feelings of self pity which is not healthy and can limit you from finding ways to move on.. Good luck to you!
2007-02-06 05:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do. The end of a serious relationship is very much like a death. After being with someone for so long and growing and changing with one another- to all of a sudden have them gone is a very tragic situation. Talk to her and try to get some closure or see where yo went wrong in the relationship. Figure out if tehrese any hope to get back together. Either way- good luck and Im sorry you feel so bad. I truly do understand.
2007-02-06 05:14:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, 4yrs is a milestone in relationships these days!! Breaking up after that long a period is like a death. When a person is removed from your life and you don't want them to go.., it is terrible. Of course you are going to mope around and be a whimpy, sappy mess for a while..., but you will go on. You are a strong man after all and are worthy of a love who loves you back!! You will find it!! Keep your chin up and try your best to do all the things you have to do., like work and being home alone where your thoughts and emotions can bring you down about it!! But just look in the mirror.., what a sexy, handsome guy you are. You want be alone long!!!!! Best of wishes!!
2007-02-06 05:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by scarlett11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are normal. Actually, it's nice of you to admit your feelings on here. I am sure you will come across the heartless worm who says, "get over it dude! What are you a pus**?" They are everywhere. What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. My god man, you were with this woman for 4 years! How are you supposed to act? Obviously you loved her then and still do. The only thing about this is that we are left wondering WHY you two split up in the first place. With that being a mystery, we can only guess at things and offer one sided advice.
If you truly love her and want her back then talk to her. If she refuses and is reluctant then you are going to have to pick yourself up and move forward. That's all you can do.
I wish you the best!
2007-02-06 05:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by Goober W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah man, give it time. It's hard being alone after spending years out of your life with the same person for so long. It feels like something's missing or like life just isn't the same. It may take a while, it may take another girl becoming truly interested in you, but sooner or later it won't hurt so bad and you'll feel like life is enjoyable without her again someday. Just take your time, and keep an open mind, or you might just miss the next best thing in your life!
2007-02-06 05:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by jirstan2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 years is a long time to be with someone. so i say u do have the right to mope around. but u will realize one day that moping around will get u know where but more depressed. try hanging with some friends go out danceing or something u like to do. it will cheer u up
2007-02-06 05:13:06 · answer #10 · answered by blackraven254 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋