I am shy but I try to not let that get in the way. I like sports, working out, helping others... I would probably be considered a "good girl" but what is it that I am doing wrong? I have never even been on a date or kissed. Everyone tells me that the right guy will come along just to wait. I am so tired of waiting. I want to be held and kissed and know that someone cares about me. I have tryed to get guys to hang out just as friends, but it always seems like they are busy. I know that they have things to do, but every time I plan something?... I feel like there is something wrong with me... I am not drop dead georgous, but I think I am pretty... I just don't get it... Can anyone help?
2007-02-06 05:04:56 · 17 answers · asked by canumoveitlkths 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I knew exactly how you felt. I'm 20 and shy too, but I realized that it's all in my head. All you need to do is step up and be yourself. You are the coolest person if you're yourself. Don't let that little voice in your head tell you: "There must be something wrong with me. I can't find anybody. I must be damned." Control your thoughts; think positively. Dress up everywhere you go, that will gain people's attention. Smile. Be happy from the inside and let that happiness radiate on your face. Be confident in yourself. If you like somebody and they don't "have time" or don't want to do things with you, find somebody else. You deserve better than that. Go out and do things that you never did. Join some clubs. Find some activities you like to do and enjoy it. And don't try too hard to get guys out, either; that makes you look unnatural and desperate. I used to tell myself this: "The world does not end if tomorrow I don't have a boyfriend yet." Now I tell it to you, be patient and cool; when you get impatient, it just ruins everything.
And btw, I tried to do all this for about a month, and then one day, a guy who I liked just showed up on my door and asked me out. I didn't expect it. Hope something good will happen to you, too.
2007-02-06 06:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by qsmile17 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well your first problem is that you're trying to find love, love is something that you happen upon. It comes when you least expect it. Take me for instance, I didn't want to find love nor did I care for it I thought it was stupid to give something so fragile as your heart to someone who could barely hold it. When that someone found me, instantly love was there. And I don't regret giving my heart to him. In my opinion there's one person for everyone, you're soulmate. You only have one soul so I doubt there are more than one people that you can claim it besides God and he's not a person. Pay attention to other things and don't let the feeling of loneliness get the best of you, because you'll end up doing something that you may regret. Loneliness makes one desperate and when that happens you're willing to do anything and everything to keep someone who just isn't the one for you. Focus on other things family, friends, school, work whatever you're into and better yourself. Love is out there. It'll find you. When you're ready. Right now, despite what you may think, you may not be ready. No matter if you're overweight, underweight, and aren't drop dead gorgeous you got to have that confidence because there is someone out there who thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world. God doesn't make mistakes. If you think you're too fat, and you want to lose weight for yourself. go to the gym and lose that weight all things are possible. Good luck hon!
2007-02-06 05:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by April 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be confident and outgoing (sounds like you are shy). thats half the battle. In the real world the physical has to get you to the point that you can win people over with your personality. Tell a guy you are interested in taking him out to lunch or a movie. The friend angle NEVER works.
Get together with some girlfriends for some real talk. Because the hardest thing to do is critique yourself from an objective point of view.
SO... get an opinion about your hair, make up, clothes, perfume, etc. See, if you are shy, then looks have to draw guys in.
Don't be re-active. Be pro-active
2007-02-06 05:16:32 · answer #3 · answered by AgentZero 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hun, don't think you are doing anything wrong just because you don't have a boyfriend and haven't had one in the past. Most of the time its the guys, not you. Good girls also have a worse time getting a guy because alot of males nowadays just wanna sleep with you. Trust me, I've experienced this one myself. Just go to bars, if you're in college meet people at fraternity's. just try to put yourself around guys more often and see what comes your way. But when a guy does come your way (notice I said "when" not "if") take it slow and don't rush into things. If a guy wants sex, he may just be wanting to see how easy you are but not really wanting it. do what your guts feel and don't let any guy take over you. A guy will come your way. You're not doing anything wrong. the only thing i can think of that would stand in your way is if you were overweight. But if you're not, than you should be fine. Best of luck.
2007-02-06 05:14:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Being a "good girl" is a "good thing" and nothing to be ashamed of. It sounds as if you have some good morals and values, and that is wonderful. Trying to build up your self-esteem will help. Having self confidence and strength within yourself is attractive to men, not all men go for looks alone. Remember the old saying "Good things come to those who wait". I'm going to be like everyone else and say that someone will come along...but I believe that a lot of times, it happens when you least expect it. Don't give up...and don't give up your standards!
2007-02-06 05:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 of my friends are in their 20s and they have never had boyfriends or girlfriends. Its not "un natural" to Not be with someone. Its simply society that has us thinking "Must be dating". It is nice however to have that person there to love you and kiss you and hold you. I know how it feels to be lonely...but i also know its so much better to wait for "that guy" because when he comes along...he will appreciate every part of you.
And if those other guys are to busy to spend time with you..then maybe they aren't worth spending time with!!
The only thing i can suggest is to be yourself...wait (tired of hearing that?) or just grab the bull by the horns and flirt your head off with random guys in coffee shops (I'm not serious!!) Maybe your destiny in life is to become a Nun and you don't know it yet....there isn't much you can do........
2007-02-06 05:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say just wait and the right guy will find you..but i can understand where you are coming from about wanting to be held and kissed and touched.....but any way you do sound like a nice person..i think that you shoUld boost up your self esteem and confidence..get a makeover..change your hair color..dress a little different..not trashy..but nice and neat..and when you do this it helps with the confidence..when you appraoch guys be confident and dont make it seemas though you are so desparate..
2007-02-06 05:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have more faith in yourself..When you are entering in some room or cafe,tell your voice in head that you are queen and do not be shy..Do something that makes you happy..Change your hairstyle,meet new friends,change places where you go out,buy yourself something new..These are just small steps,but at first you must feel good in your own skin and then all the boys will see that light that you send from your good heart..More enjoy in life and less think about boys,they will come and leave and that is fact :)) Good Luck
2007-02-06 05:17:43 · answer #8 · answered by --Breathtaking-- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to ME! You're just hanging around Children. Kids! Kids who don't know how to act like an Adult. You're someone that's gonna make them wish they had treated you better. "If" they ever do grow up. You're an Adult. They're not. Treat yourself with some Respect. And only allow the same from others.
2007-02-06 05:15:41 · answer #9 · answered by Goggles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't you know, when God's time was right I was asked out by a guy I wasn't so sure about but wanted to give him a chance "because you never know" today marks 5 years since he asked me to be his girlfriend..now we are happily married with 2 kids :-)
2016-04-01 06:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by canumoveitlkths 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋