Atheist asked to say grace?

Question

This has happened to me recently. I was caught off-guard so I just sat there and let out a long "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Untill someone else offered to do it. Should I just have something prepared for next time? What's one that short and sweet, but not so much that it's disrespectful.

Also, is there something I can say other than "bless you" when someone sneezes, I don't want to appear to be rude.

Answer 1

I have been asked to say grace before too. With family, I just sternly decline, because they all know I won't do it. With other people, I just downplay it by saying something like "Oh, I'm not quite eloquent enough to do that on behalf of everyone, but thank you for the offer."

When people sneeze, I say "Gesundheit!" (or Kazoontite!, as my friend spells it)

Answer 2

If you aren't feeling grateful, simply and politely decline asking the asker to do the "honors" If you are feeling grateful, say, thanks for the food and the fellowship of friends, amen. That is saying tons without saying much and won't be considered rude but actually nice. There are many languages in the world that use the word for health when someone sneezes. There are 2 mentioned in answers above. The words, "Bless you" are actually from a pagan belief that evil spirits left your body when you sneezed and saying bless you before the person inhaled would keep the bad spirits from reentering the body.

Answer 3

Why not?

I am not a believer. But I am grateful... to what? to life, to frends, to destiny, to the world, to the seasons, to the sun the rain...

I always like the concept of saying grace. It just reminds us that we are part of a bigger game, that it isn't all about us. It is not about getting a price at the end (heavens!!), but rather about being ourselves, and I think this is something to be truly grateful for.

So, next time, why not holding the hand of your host and your neighbour, and looking up and around the circle of friends, just say "today I am very grateful to participate in this warm and happy event. It has been a (long - happy- difficult - paiful) year, and we all stuck together to help and support each other, and to enjoy the good times (here you could add a couple of fond memories...). I see happy faces, wonderful foods, and I feel most lucky and blessed to be here. Thank you and to the cook!!".

And if that is not what he wanted... well he will not ask you again!!! :))


And, for the record: Gesundheit means litterally "health" in German. It just wishes an improvement on the health of the person in front, without calling in any superior power on the concept that a virus is a little deviled spirit..... quite nice huh???

Answer 4

You recommend what may I, an atheist, say if someone requested me to assert grace in the previous a meal? i'd say "you do not comprehend me ok." that should be adequate to enable the fellow comprehend that i'm no longer going to bow my head or provide any as by way of the a non=existent god, yet in the experience that they were uncertain about this, i'd then proceed to enlighten them. this interior of reason moot although, because each and each and every of the human beings i comprehend are both atheists too, or they comprehend me nicely adequate to understand that asking ME to assert grace is a really dumb theory. The Christians who live on both side of me all comprehend that i'm a pagan, a pantheist, and a Witch, and they could under no circumstances inquire from me the variety of ingredient. in case you recommend what may any atheist say? i'd wish she/he may communicate the reality as may be perfect for them.

Answer 5

I am not an atheist, but have never said grace in public. Whenever anyone asks me to say grace, I always say something like, "No, please, you go ahead." It has always worked without explanations or any uncomfortable feelings. The person who offers you the opportunity does so as a compliment and if they are expecting grace to be said before a meal, then they will be prepared to say it.
I am pleased to see that there are people who do not want to be rude or disrespectful. It seems that there are fewer and fewer of us each year.

Answer 6

Excuse me but 'Gesundheit' means 'Jesus bless you' and you 'don't want to' say that if you are an 'atheist' who is also a 'purist' ... so I would simply say to the 'sneezer' 'I'm sorry. I hope you have good health.' As for saying 'grace' the best thing to do would be to 'explain' that you don't believe in any 'God' and that if they want you to 'still say Grace' then simply say 'Thank the people who grew this food that we may eat it, and thank the people who cooked this food to make it taste good.' and DO NOT say 'Amen' ... which means 'So be it' but has 'religious connotations' and could be 'misunderstood' in the same way that many people 'think' the word Gesundheit doesn't refer to any 'religion' but it actually does. I can't say that I 'agree with' you because I'm a Catholic, but I do 'support you' in your effort to remain 'true to' what you believe enough to ask your question and expect a good 'non-religious' statement that you can make when you are asked to say grace, or to say 'something' when someone sneezes.

Answer 7

One great thing about being catholic is the prepared prayers. My kids can rattle off grace so quickly there is no chance for the food to get cold. "Bless us, oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, through thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen"

As you are an atheist it is still possible to have a prepared grace.

Several years ago we had a Thanksgiving dinner that had several guests of various denominations including a guest who had no religion. So, my husband wrote a haiku for grace that was lovely but that would be ok for everyone.

It was such a huge hit that it became a Thanksgiving tradition. The traditional Thanksgiving haiku has been posted on our family website now for 5 years.

His 2005 Haiku was "On this Thanksgiving / May we always be grateful / For all our blessings"

Another nice grace is one my mother in law always likes to say when we get together "Thank you for this food and thank you for those that prepared it"

Everyone sitting around the table can thank the person or deity in their mind responsible for putting the food around the table.

I love my religion and at the same time I think the best thing to do while sitting around a dinner table with friends is to make everyone as comfortable as possible. The inspiration for the first Thanksgiving Haiku was a combination of people coming that were opinionated and were coming to the table with a little bit of family baggage. So, to ensure as much as a wonderful evening as possible my husband not only prepared a thanksgiving haiku but he also thought of a few dinner conversation points that we could use to easily transition into a comfort zone.

That may sound a little over the top but as it turned out it was one of the best things that we have done. Now when we get together for family dinners we always talk with the host / hostess and make sure we are clear on their expectations (do we bring something specific to dinner, do we help prepare any food, do we help with the clean up etc) and then we let them know what they can expect from us. For example, we are teaching our kids to clean up after dinner so the hostess can expect our kids to clear the table while we sit there. This can be done in a nice way and not confrontational and what it does is to ensure a very pleasant evening.

The main thing is to be prepared. It may take you 5 to 20 minutes to come up with a grace that you are comfortable with but then you will be prepared for any dinner gathering for the rest of your life. It saves all those awkward moments.

Finally, a great source for graces that work for any denomination or atheist are old Irish toasts. "May the roof above you never fall in, And those gathered beneath it never fall out." Irish toasts and graces run abundant throughout the Internet.

Cheers.

Answer 8

Even though it goes against your beliefs, you could say something like "We're thankful for the food we are about to receive, and let everyone here be plentifully blessed."

In a way, that kind of goes against your beliefs. But notice that it doesn't speak to any deity. It is just a statement that you are thankful for the food you are about to eat, and that you hope for everyone to be blessed. You could just think of it as a general statement and not really a prayer. I don't know if that would help or not.

Now, this is assuming that the people asking you to say grace don't know you are an atheist. If they know, and they still ask you, then you may want to just decline properly. I'm not an atheist myself, but I believe in respecting everyone's beliefs, be the in the minority or majority.

Answer 9

Personally, I don't think it's polite in the first place to take someone off guard and ask them to say grace before asking them ahead of time if that would be okay. I don't like to pray out loud in front of other people and I would probably decline for those reasons. I think it would have been more polite of the person who asked you to say grace to have asked before everyone's sitting around the table waiting for you to actually do it.
Vicky

Answer 10

I think when someone sneezes, if you really feel the need to say something you can ask, "Are you okay?" or "Wow! I can't believe you kept your eyeballs in your head on that one!!!"

As far as saying grace is concerned, I think that it would be acceptable to politely decline or defer to your host or you can simply say, "Thank you for those who prepared this meal. We are grateful."

Answer 11

Talk about awkward. I would just say something along the lines of, "my brain is pulling a blank right now" next time you're asked to say grace. As for sneezing you can say "gesundheit" (it's German for health and pronounced ge-zunt-ight).