would YOU forgive this guy? i'm CONFUSED and need an outside opinion to help clear the smoke of confusion!!

Question

he and i dated for 1 yr and it was so serious that he told everyone that i was the one. i chickened out and refused to see him for 5 months. we got back together but he resented me and i'm kind of high maintenance so any little thing can pss me off. this lead to arguments. we broke up and started dating new people. after awhile, i was devastated bc i realized i loved only him. he moved on with a new girl who was more "safe and sweet". he would still call me and she didn't like it. she caught us at the library together once (we're in college). they got in a lot of arguments (not just over me). one night he said he would leave her but changed his mind the next morning. i was incredibly pssd. she dumped him afterwards (they lasted a month). he still didn't want to be in a relationship however, and tried to see other people. i was ready to move on, then after christmas break, he begged me to be in a relationship again. he's SOO sweet and considerate now/we stopped arguing.
i'm confused!!

Answer 1

You both made mistakes and it sounds to me like you want to try again. If you love him like you said you did give him another shot you never know what could happen.

Answer 2

Well, I am not sure what you are needing to forgive him for. It sounds like he was not able to handle your personality, and if that is the case then you are probably not ment for each other. However, opposites do attract, and that is the truth.

If you are upset because he had moved on during that five months you were broke up, well......what was he gonna do? I am not trying to attack you, I am just saying that you two probably are not ever going to have that perfect relationship you want because your personalities don't mesh. This is OK, there are other people out there and both of you will find the right one. I say you both need to keep dating and give each other a break. You are still young and you have time to decide whether or not you want a periminant relationship with each other.

Answer 3

by the sounds of it you 2 have both made mistakes towards eachother in the past and although some ppl may say forgive and forget, i say forgive and learn. I think that if after everything that has happened, you two still feel the same way you should give it another go. The reason for this is that you 2 have both parted and seen wat else is out there but still have strong feelings for eachother, so the next time round you two will appreciate one another more and wont take eachother for granted like in the beginning. I am no relationship master but I have been through more than some and what i no is that you should just give things a go, or else it will be in the bak of ur head for years thinking "what if".

Answer 4

A lot of times when a couple are unable to resolve conflict, the hurts and frustrations lead a person to move on as a way of trying to find a relationship that offers peace and harmony. After all, when two people are unable to work issues out and only create an atmospher of hostility, it is human to want a way out. This seems to have happened between you and your ex boyrfriend. Although with you, I feel your way of dating others was to hurt him, then when you found he was dating someone else it devasted you. For your own sake, you must learn to deal with your anger and not let it give you the right to lash out at others, especially the one you love. As for your boyfriend, I feel he made an effort to move on to someone else. Now he decided to give you and him another shot. If he is the one you love, do not make the same mistakes you have in the past with him. Stop the games, find a way to understand one another, stop trying to control the relationship. The number one thing I feel he has needed from you is respect and from what you said, you have not given this to him in the past. Remember, just as much as his two feet can walk towards you, they can also walk/run away from you. I do hope I was of some help to you.!

Answer 5

I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, but here goes anyway:

Walk away. It appears that neither of you are ready for anything serious. If you cannot get along in a casual relationship, you can be sure you won't get along in a more serious relationship. Being away from each other for awhile may appear to fix your problems ("Absence makes the heart grow fonder"), but it won't be long before you return to normal, which appears to be "fussing and fighting".

You describe yourself as high maintenance. If you are that way with everyone, you should wait for anything serious until your maintenance level decreases significantly. If you are high maintenance only with this person, then find someone that makes you want to be "low maintenance".

Just my opinion . . . but you asked.

Answer 6

Wow! It sounds like you guys aren't truly sure what you want or what you're looking for. You both are in college, and that right there is opening up a new world to the both of you =). I would say not to really date anyone just for now. Have fun with friends etc..if you both are truly meant for each other, eventually you'll be together =) There's too much going back and forth with this, which is why I recommend casual dating or spending time with friends! Have fun and good luck!!!

Answer 7

I know when people break up their first option is to immediately find someone else to fill the loneliness void that your ex did. This will make him second guess if you really do love him. Dating is all wierd. I'm going through this with my ex. I would love to be near her to hold her and talk to her about her days, but we're far away from eachother so thats not possible. Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him and see what your next step should be. Be cautious though. Take things slow.

Answer 8

it seems to me that he is with you until a better deal comes around. You already dumped him once and then when he took you back you kept you high maintenence ways and would get mad at him. I'll tell you that is a sure way to get dumpped again. Then when you couldn't have what you wanted you meddled in his bussiness and ruined another one of his relationships (the first one being with you). When he wasn't able to find Miss Right (Usually in guy speak that means he either wasn't getting any or when he was called her your name) he tricked himself into wanting something that was familiar and so he went for you. Now that he has you again and you have him, I say it will be Febuary 22nd and then one of you will realize that it still is right and yet another breakup. Sorry dear.

Answer 9

I don't think he's done anything much to forgive. If you want to try to get together and stay together that's fine. But it seems as if there is a lot of relationship chaos going on around you and you are still young - in college. Why not try going out, but at a lower intensity level?

Answer 10

Sounds like your very young minded (I'm not trying to be mean but you still have a lot of time and boyfriends to go through and learn from). It also sounds like you want him when you can't have him. I would let him go and move on to someone that can handle you being high mainentance. Or lower your standards and realize that you are not the only one who exists. Good Luck

Answer 11

There's nothing to forgive him for. You are the one who broke it off in the first place and he moved on. If you think you can get back together with him and not argue constantly, then go for it. I would definitely encourage you to stop being so high maintenance. Pick your battles and stop getting angry over things that don't have any long term consequences.