I am 6 weeks pregnant with my second child, and when my fiance and I told the family, all they said was "You will regret it, it is a lot harder and your son is going to be mad that he isn't the only one." I, on the other hand, am very excited, but I am wondering what other peoples experiences are with having two babies. Are you happy that you had another child?
2007-02-06 04:22:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am so grateful we decided to have another child. My daughter really wanted a sibling, so she was excited too (not always so excited now that her sister is here, but she still really loves her). Yeah, there are jealousy issues, but you have to prepare for that. It is natural.On my side, it was so much easier the second time around. I knew what to expect, what to worry about, and what to enjoy. Having a second was so rewarding, it has made me question my decision to stop here. Don't let the family bring you down. You have every reason to be thrilled.
2007-02-06 04:32:44 · answer #1 · answered by doodlebuttus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My best friend just had her second baby less than a month ago. She has a son who will be 2 in May, and she is so happy. Her children are fulfilling - yeah, a newborn is work! It's going to be a little hard at first! But it doesn't last forever. Remember how fun it gets when they start smiling and playing. Her son isn't a tyrant now that he isn't the only one, the worst he's done is push limits like try to get away with things he wasn't allowed to do, but that lasted like a week, because the reinforced that he still wasn't allowed to do them. It's difficult, but it will never be as hard as you think. Remember that when it is your own children, you KNOW your children. You can say NO and guide them and help them to love each other! You aren't going to be walked all over by your kid, so enjoy the birth of your second child and work on strengthening your family. Make sure when you start getting a visible belly you start really talking to your older child about Baby, and what that means. Sure, they probably won't understand. Ha ha. I would buy him a baby doll - nothing fancy - and show him Baby, and then he has his own baby to take care of until you have the baby. That really helped my brother understand.
2007-02-06 12:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. If they aren't happy, then it is their loss, not yours. We were very excited when we had our 2nd (and 3rd!), but yes, we worried about the usual things like, will we have enough time to spend with all of them, etc.. And you know what? You make the time, and you figure out what works best for your family! Having more than one child is such a blessing, in so many ways. As far as your son being mad at you, we never had that experience, because we really prepared the older ones for the next sibling. They attended Big Sister Class at the hospital, we read books about having younger siblings, we bought a gift from the baby to give to the big sisters, and just made sure that we paid lots of attention to them too, not just the baby. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2007-02-06 12:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by FLmom3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How rude and insensitive! They must all be only children or bitter neglected middle kids, huh.
It IS harder with two and SOME kids do get mad at the baby when he comes home, but everyone that I know that had more than one is very happy about it. Acutally, most families that I know ended up with three or more kids, so obviously they didn't regret the second or they definately would've stopped there.
Just leave them all out of your baby-preparations and be excited as you can be with everyone else. Eventually they will realize their mistake, and they'll be just as happy with the new baby as you already are.
Good luck and congratulations!
2007-02-06 14:39:34 · answer #4 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sigh. You're apparently supposed to feel stupid for taking on the extra work of another child, as well as guilty for "neglecting" your older kid by dividing your parenting time up fo two kids.
Families are really great at making a person feel dumb and guilty.
I think the rationale behind it is that if you have no self-confidence and self-resepect left, you will always ask for their advice and turn to them for everything. Result: they will have total control over you AND/OR they will never lose you, because you will keep coming back to them for words of wisdom.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Some words of support: I have 3 kids and 1 more on the way. When my second kid was born, I did end up spending less time with my first, but he benefitted big time, as the two kids are very close friends. They are pretty close with the third as well. In fact, their love and concern for each other is very visible and very touching.
Although it defintely took some time to get used to having another kid -- each time! -- I have absolutely no regrets. I benefitted, my kids benefitted, the family as whole benefitted. There is always enough love to go around.
There is something special about sitting down to a family meal, and seeing that the chairs are filled :-)
I would ignore the extended family's comments about your having another kid. It is their sad way of trying to control your life, either as a way of holding onto you, or as a way to feel superior.
2007-02-06 13:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by Victoria 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what other people think. It's your life not theirs.
Any way: It does get a little harder, but that doesn't matter as long
as you and your fiancee want and love this baby as much as the first one. Talk to your first child and let him know that he is going
to be the big brother soon. Let him know that you will still love him as much as before so that he doesn't feel left out. Give him the same amount of attention the baby will be getting.
2007-02-06 12:32:17 · answer #6 · answered by lizzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what other people think about you. i have 3 boys 6,5, and 18months old and currently expecting another baby in April. I love having children and wouldn't change it for anyone. As long as you love your children, take care of them financially, and you are not asking the very same people who are making these comments to you for handouts then who cares. I'm glad your happy and your fiancee is happy. Your son will be happy as well good luck and this too shall pass.
2007-02-06 13:08:49 · answer #7 · answered by missingNYC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am on my fourth baby. I love having my children. My children LOVE having siblings. They play together, fight together, but most the time I see them loving each other. It is awesome. Don't let them get you down. You have your new baby, enjoy it and watch your son show love like you have never seen!!!!! Congrats!!!
2007-02-06 12:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are extremely happy we are of the view an only child is a lonely child
2007-02-08 10:02:30 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋