Are these words necessary? "For better or for worse"?

Question

It might help if we can be honest from the very beginning of the ceremony!

The point is they are only words! Keep in mind the divorce rate is over 50%

rev what else could you say?

I know what it means. That's the problem.

Answer 1

You are true,, but the couples should be sincere with themselves not to do it as a tradition and if they truly are there for one another,, for better or fr worse will they stick together

Answer 2

You have to think about what they mean...you're taking this person for the good stuff, AND the bad stuff that happens in life. You're making a committment to stay true and faithful (yes, physically as well as emotionally) to this person REGARDLESS of how life turns out, you're basically saying that you're not going to bail out when the going gets tough. You're not going to cheat on your wife when she's 9 months pregnant, and you haven't had sex for 3 months. You're not going to cheat on your husband if he has a job that requires him to travel out of town, and he comes home Friday nights absolutely exausted. If you're going to be "honest" from the beginning of the ceremony, what it sounds to me is that you're not taking marriage seriously. Don't worry, most people don't anymore, which is WHY the divorce rate is close to 50%. If you DON'T take those marriage vows seriously, and really mean them (it's not just fun words you're saying up there--they really do mean something), then you're all but certain to be destined to be in the 50% who will have a failed marriage.

Answer 3

Oh yeah... you see, most people can't deal with the "for worse" part of fate. Especially if you're young, selfish, short-sighted and prone to thinking beauty & money = happiness. The "for worse" part means any number of the 1000s of things that happen over time -- beyond simply arguments. For example: will you still love them after they've been fired, or hit by car, or jailed for 12 years, have trouble dealing with a wife's frigidity or disinterest once the kids come along, or a kid born with a defect, or when the hubby get slupus suddenly or needs hospital care for years otherwise. They can make the wedding vows much longer, by listing 1000s of good & bad things that happen over real life -- but this line "for better or worse" says it all in a nutshell.

Answer 4

if by being honest you mean that you will not stay together when the going gets tough then don't get married in the first place. I gaurantee marriage will get tough.

But if you are asking about the legal wording of a wedding ceremony. There is none. You can reword any portion of it to your liking. But you might have difficulty getting anyone who will perform the ceremony if its too far out there.

Answer 5

Nothing is "necessary". It's all about what you choose to be a part of the ceremony. I think, the only question you're required to answer is if you take this person to be your spouse. Everything else is fluff that you can keep or discard as you see fit. We had our own vows written by a friend. You can write your own, and word it in any way you'd like.

Answer 6

Thats a good question.
The only worse I think I couldnt get over is cheating, there is just no forgiveness in my heart for that, but the promise of "always to be true to you" and "I honor you" has already been broken by the cheater, so if the vows are already broken by one party there no sense in the other party still holding fast to them.

I think I could get over anything else, though.

Answer 7

LOL I couldn't agree more. See in the old days it really meant for better or worse....even and especially at worse...but today lets be honest no one sticks in it for the worst...too many cheaters and liers. With the right person it should be for better or worse but too many times the love is only one sided and the other side is acting like they aren't married anyway. Who can put up with that?
I think the originality of the for better or worse just meant the rest of the words in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, etc Which when marrying someone you love shouldn't be a proble. The problem comes up when one or the other or both parties really aren't trully in love.

Answer 8

I think they are necessary. and yes the divorce rate is high, but I think it's mainly b/c of cheating and a lack of trying to fix things. I think For Better or For Worse doesn't mean if your partner cheats on you to stay with them b/c you said those words... in God's eyes cheating is a sin, so I think in that case divorce is ok. But every couple has problems, most these days just are too lazy to try and work it out... and in that aspect i think for better or for worse is a promise to try and work out your simple problems. plus all the "better" times make up for the "worse" ones if you ask me.

Answer 9

Definitely needed and must be used to the best of your ability.I have been married for 8 years now and all for better or worse means,when you go thru the hard times with money and illness if one of you ends up in a wheel chair would just leave him or stay with him forever.The better times are great lots of money get what you want but when there is financial difficulty you don't leave you fight through it together.Till the end of life my dear!!!!!

Answer 10

I think that it depends on the type of ceremony. My husband and I had a Catholic wedding and the priest said these are the vows. I wanted to add something but he said no.
If you're concerned about it, talk with your minister, pastor or whomever you've chosen to perform the service. You may be able to alter it slightly. You never know unless you ask!

Good luck!

Answer 11

Yes they are very important. I want my future husband to know that I will be with him no matter what the world throws at us. Whether it's winning the lottery, or having a tornado destroy our home. Thats the better or worse part, and I would hope that he feels the same about me. Oh course it's easier when it's the "better" part, but do you want someone to leave your side when the times get rough? I wouldn't, thats when you need someone the most.