In my experience, not only has this nice guy finished last most of the time, but he has been cheated on by alot of girls with guys who have hit them and been emotionaly abusive and controling to the girls. Now I know i have made mistakes and i have accidently hurt women some of the women in my life emotionaly, but i have never done so intentualy. I have always strived to treat them w/ love respect and honest... so why have so many of them cheated on me with real losers. Surely a "nice guy" is better then an abusive guy, right??
2007-02-06 02:52:36 · 10 answers · asked by Smurfy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just for the record, I have found a wonderful woman who has appreciated the things that i do. This is more a curious question to better understand women.
2007-02-06 02:53:44 · update #1
Appearently my definition of a nice guy is different from other peoples. For me a nice guy is a man who loves and respect his woman for who and what she is... a man who treats her like she is worth the world to him and i have always strived to do that. A man who backs down to her and never shows what is in his heart and mind is doing none of those things and doesnt even respect himself. To me this is not a nice guy, it is a guy who is scared and will put up with anything to just feel wanted by a woman. And i promise you i have never been that guy.
2007-02-06 03:09:48 · update #2
Here is a follow up inspired by Elanore and actually by friends who have said the same thing. If you are used to a guy who treats awful and you are miserable in that relationship, and a nice guy comes along and shows you that you are worth so much more and treats you w/ respect, but at the same time shows you that he is someone to respect and admire, why then do women still choose tha guy who hurts them?? What does nice guy have to do to finish first? or atleast ahead of those guys? And as far as the gentleman who said to do it back to them... well I dont think you quite understand what it takes to be a "nice guy".
2007-02-06 03:24:09 · update #3
Two important answers:
First, adversity makes us stronger and better and, as a result, often nicer. The one who has to strive to achieve, whether because of a handicap, poverty, being homely, low intelligence, family circumstances, or whatever, learns empathy and sympathy in his struggle. He learns to be kind and considerate. But he may not be as strong or as handsome or as rich or as smart, so he gets "dropped" when somebody less worthy, but more aggressive, handsomer, richer, etc., comes along. Which brings us to:
Second, really nice people are often drawn to those who are troubled. They want to help, comfort, strengthen, and "fix." And if they have low self esteem, they tend to choose those who are less worthy. Somehow, they connect with someone who lies, cheats, etc., befriends and comforts and treats them well. These people often are broken in spirit and can't really accept the great thing they've got going, so they turn to someone who will treat them as badly as they sadly feel they deserve.
The fact that you have now found someone who is wonderful, and appreciative shows that you have discovered that you, yourself, are a person worthy of respect and appreciation for the kind and good things you do. I'm happy for you. You sound so nice, that I hope this relationship works out well for you.
2007-02-06 03:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by teachermama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many ladies turned you down before you found the wonderful woman you have now. I know this does not answer your question, but I think this will help.
Do you really want to be in a relationship with a shallow girl? It is shallow and immature girls who go for the abusive boyfriends, and they hold onto them because those boyfriends make them feel good. Real women want a nice guy, but they will not go searching for him. Sometimes guys have to have a little backbone and go get her. This is where you may have had a little trouble as I once did. Girls want the suave guy who knows how to handle himself in all situations yet has a good time doing it.
You should be happy with the girl you have! She is worth a whole lot more in character than the other girls you tried to get with. She is more mature, and that is a good thing to find in a woman. She will not cheat on you, but I can guarantee all of the ones that hurt you could have. Best of luck with your relationship!
2007-02-06 02:59:38 · answer #2 · answered by +TheEndIsInSight+ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, actually an abusive guy punching his girl in the face is something she likes.
Women likes being respected by men. We all have boundaries and if someone you are with respects that, then you have yourself a winner. Maybe, what many of you are concerned about with regards to a "nice guy" is a guy that caves on many of the issues that are important to him. Some might perceive this as being spineless. Although, sometimes for the sake of the relationship you will find yourself growing into a different person and your views changing.
2007-02-06 02:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by s_p_u_d_n_i_k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good question. I cannot answer for all the ladies, but I can answer for myself. I have never really dated a nice guy. I thought they were nice, but they turned out to be the scum of the earth. I now drive the Bitter Bus and if men get in my way, I sometimes try to run them over with it.
I think that since I've been *really* hurt in the past, all I'm used to is a$$*****. When I see a nice guy, I just automatically assume that since he's not mean, moody, rude or unpredictable, he's a sap without a backbone. I guess I'm just really used to conflict and turmoil.
I know that's really messed up, but that's just where I am right now.
2007-02-06 03:07:17 · answer #4 · answered by YSIC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't believe in traditional gender roles that say men are supposed to call you, etc. In my opinion those kind of sexist attitudes should have been left in the 1950s where they belong. I think if you have a nice date with someone and they don't call you, then give them a call yourself, regardless of who is what gender. Sitting around waiting for some guy to call "because he's a guy and therefore it's his duty" seems awfully silly to me. Are you really willing to possibly miss out on what could be a great guy over something that petty? In my experience all of the "nice girls" always wanted the "bad boys" which I never was, so it always seemed to me like women loved a**holes. "Nice guys" are usually kind of boring, and women usually seem willing to risk what comes along with a bad boy rather than be bored with someone nice. Maybe it's that risk that makes bad boys so exciting? I honestly don't know.
2016-05-23 23:29:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something in a lot of women that craves excitement, craves a man that is strong, above the law, and isn't afraid to do whatever he wants. Women like confidence, some women like to be dominated and so forth. A lot of times these cravings come from having an absentee father figure in their lives, or a father that didn't protect them, or live up to their expectations. They look for this in a man and think they'll find what they want. Rarely does this work. In the end, it is the nice men we want to settle down with. :) I am so glad you have found someone that truly appreciates you and your goodness. :)
2007-02-06 02:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by Kendra 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dude just do it back right away make them be all man Smurfy your the best and then BAM dip your wick somewhere else and then she'll be all "why would you do that" and you'll be all "baby, its not you its against every woman on this earf!!" and then if you get other guys to do that who are in a similar situation you could start a global movement for girls to appreciate you ive never had that problem but for you other guys the revolution is now!!!
2007-02-06 02:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mike Hancho 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good question!
Simply put:
Girls like bad boys
Women like good men
(Remember some people never grow up)
Be who you are. It is the only way to live happy. And my friend choose wisely.
2007-02-13 05:43:27 · answer #8 · answered by jason m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice guys don't ALWAYS finish last! I personally like nice guys... cocky guys just press the wrong buttons with me!
2007-02-13 21:47:12 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Brandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because girls like bad boys and they bring fun and excitement
2007-02-14 02:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by Alise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋