Ok see i have been dating this guy for 4 years now and we both cheated on each other. But he got a girl pregnant after I cheated on him. well the thing is now I'm scared to trust him again. He says that he is going to sign his rights over after the test is done. But its so hard to trust him when all i can think about is what he done. He wants to make it work but i don't know if i can. I love him but not like i use to. The girl he got pregnant want leave him alone she wants to be with him really bad. Part of me wants to leave and the other part wants to stay. I don't know what to do. We both hurt each other but he hurt me more b/c his lasted over 2 years now and mine wasn't but a 1night stand. I haven't forgiven him for this I don't think i can. Is there any hope for trust in this relationship or should we just go our seperate ways?
2007-02-06 02:51:29 · 23 answers · asked by biggest_duke_fan_ever@yahoo.com 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no, i dont believe in cheating at all but even if one night stand would be acceptable (even if thats what got her preg), but the fact that he was with her over half the time he was with you is rotten. Also, if he got her pregnant he should be there for her even if he doesnt care about her and loves you, thats still his child. If he can get her pregnant and leave, what makes you think he wouldnt do it to you. Not trying to sound harsh, but you shouldnt have to get over him cheating and everything that happened, you shouldnt have to deal with it or worry about it. Trust me the feelings you are having now will never go away, so its better to just leave now then stick around.
2007-02-06 03:02:06 · answer #1 · answered by larissaxxlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One lie can ruin all trust in a relationship. Depending from person to person is the degree that ranges on the damage scale. Getting trust back takes a long time, but sometimes people won't let go of sneaky suspicions. I think if it just goes one way, it might be easier to fix in a relationship....seeing how in your situation you both have broken trust, no matter who has done it first, increases your chances dramiticly of reacting the same way in the future towrds each other.
if you dont want to go seperate ways, i suggest couples counsling, and not just a few sessions. Couples counsling will give you two a mediator, and someone neutrual that holds you both accountable each week. You will learn to communicate with honesty and integrity....and to become more intimate.
If you stay with him i strongly suggest counsling. If you both arnt willing to do this mutually, go the seperate ways and find someone who is willing to be honest, or willing to take the steps to make it work.
2007-02-06 02:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would love to say yes, but unfortunately the answer is NO. For the reason being you both hurt each other and you will never be able to get over what he has done to you! You hurt him to, and he will remember that forever as well. I cheated once and I never have forgiven myself, it was the biggest mistake I ever made. We tried to make a go of it, but I couldn't forgive myself and he never trusted me either after that. It's never the same. Once it's gone it's gone, never the same! It can never be the same, wish it could but you either have to go on in another relationship or find a way to work this one out that the 2 of you can accept what you both have done. I never could do it! If you can all the power to you!
2007-02-06 02:58:29 · answer #3 · answered by Tigerluvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me point something out hun'. Cheating and lying is just as bad for a realationship, be it 1 night or 2 yrs. If you continue to think of it as who did what and what was worse then there is no hope. The blame game has no home in a realationship of any kind, all it does is tear at the foundations.
As to wether or not if you should stay, that is a choice for you to make, but if you decide to stay you have to forgive, and i mean really forgive. You have to let it go in your heart, which is not to say that you should turn a blind eye to it either. Trust and securtiy will take along time to build, but forgiven has to be given from the start, otherwise you are just gonna destroy your relationship and you are wasting you time.
2007-02-06 03:00:30 · answer #4 · answered by Smurfy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard to trust someone again. And after him being with her for 2 yrs he might have bonded with her physically but it might be more emotionally and mentally now. If you both want to be together your both going to have to make a HUGE effort. If you want to go thru all that work to try and restore your relationship then you should be with him but if you think you're wasting your time and that things will never change between you guys then it's best for you, at least, that it ends because the more heartache on you the more stressed out you'll be because you're worried where he's at and what he's doing all the time. Good luck with your decision, hoped this helped a little.
2007-02-06 02:57:53 · answer #5 · answered by all4him 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No body here knows your particular situation and there are always two sides to a story. Many times when people look back, after a divorce, many souses who were cheated on realize if they handled things a little differently, the entire episode could have ended up differently. You may need some professional counseling to get over all this. Try to not worry so much about what your husband is doing. Try focusing on YOUR life instead. Make the quality of your life better. Your happiness is dependant on you, not what he does.
2016-05-23 23:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl you need to MOVE ON!!!!! why waist your time with someone like this. You said yours was a one night stand, but yet he cheated for over 2 years, that is way more than enough time for him to have realized he was doing something wrong. And just wait till the baby is born, you'll have to be dealing with baby moma drama for the rest of your life. I'm sorry to tell you but your relationship will NEVER be the same :( You should move on sooner than later. Trust me you will end up with the short end of the stick.
2007-02-06 02:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can guess is that it takes a lot of time. Maybe you two are not the best for each other maybe you need to start over with someone new. And do not cheat. If you no longer love him then you need to walk away.
2007-02-06 02:55:31 · answer #8 · answered by peeps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust ur heart, leave if u reallllllllyyyyyyyy think u can't trust him anymore...but he may be able 2 to gain ur trust back but that will take a lot of time for that 2 happen
2007-02-06 02:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by monica r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys sound like you have a lot of issues.
You have the rest of your lives to sort these out.
You have a history. So if you are happy with him and he is happy with you then give your relationship the test of time.
Stay friends and explore your relationship one day at a time.
2007-02-06 02:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋