I work in a small (5 people) office and a few of my coworkers have asked me a couple of times to hang out with them socially~ I've always declined. Now one of them is getting married in a few months and has hinted that we're all invited to the wedding. I can barely tolerate these people for the 40 hours I'm being paid to be with them; and I can't even imagine being with them in my free time. How can I tell them in a nice way that I don't want to hang out with them outside work?
2007-02-06 02:43:22 · 17 answers · asked by karmaslave22 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You could just tell them that you're sorry you can't spend time outside of work, but that you have some special family obligations that take the majority of your time. Tell them you barely have any time to yourself as it is.
Tell them that you are happy to at least enjoy their company at work.
Yeah, I know its a white lie; but at least you won't hurt anybodys feelings, ya know?
I mean, they are trying to be friendly, after all.
Alot of places I've worked at, it was just the opposite. They would have "social clicks" and everybody else would feel like an outsider.
So, really, its flattering.
2007-02-06 02:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a certain amount of "team player" necessary for a good working relationship in most jobs. Apparently they want to be your friends or they would not invite you to social events. It's acceptable to decline with a valid reason (family responsibilities, etc) but the wedding is a bit different. At least have a prior commitment if you just can't talk yourself into making a brief appearance and do send a small gift. You'll enjoy , or at least tolerate, your job better if you can become a little more friendly with your co-workers.
2007-02-06 03:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Remember that these people are souls you see everyday so be polite. Someday someone may not like you and you will appreciate them if they are still kind.
You don't have to tell them you don't want to hang out with them. Your repetitive polite responses are clue enough to get your point across. All you have to do is smile really big and say, "I'm busy." That is it. If they pry for more info, just tell them you have a prior engagement. (Even sitting at home watching TV can be a prior engagement because you previously engaged to yourself NOT be social with those coworkers.)
In situations like this, the simplest and most vague answer is the best answer.
2007-02-06 03:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by lofolulu 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just say, sorry my life outside the office is very busy, decline the wedding invitation, but send a card, (doesn't hurt to be polite to coworkers). They are probably just being polite to include you, in their socail activities, a lot of people have the opposite problem, they feel left out at work.
2007-02-06 02:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I invited co-workers to my wedding and some of them declined. It was no big deal. I have been invited to co-workers' weddings and I have accepted some and declined others based on how comfortable I was spending time with them. It's very common. I do think that you should make more of an effort to get to know them. You might start liking them more.
2007-02-06 02:51:30 · answer #5 · answered by leaptad 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO need to tell them. Just keep declining their invitations. They should get the message after 3-4 years.
2007-02-06 12:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe in keeping work and social life separate. No one should feel obligated to socialize with co-workers, or attend their family functions.
Still, if you can "barely tolerate" these people even at work, maybe you'd be happier working somewhere else.
2007-02-06 03:06:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Just politely tell them that you are happy for him/her and just say that since you barely know them, you would not feel right for attending. But thank them anyway, buy a small wedding gift, and you should be excused.
2007-02-06 02:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by srbunce 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Make alternate plans. That way when you tell them you have alt. plans you're not lying. Or just lie and say you do. Conversely, accept the invitation, tell them your coming and then do a no call, no show. If they choose a wedding date when all guests will be available (how possible is that, anyway?) tell them an emergency came up and then make one up.
I hate feeling compelled to do that Sh*t. It's not right.
2007-02-06 02:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by rangerbaldwin 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
U can always tell them u are a very private person and prefer to keep the social life and work life seperate.
2007-02-06 03:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋