Can a relationship work if we both cheated?

Question

I have been dating my girlfriend for five years now and we have been in a long distance relationship for three years. She is in Africa and I am in the US. We haven't seen each other in the last three years and our only means of communication has been through phone and online, and the relationship has remained strong.

Now, I slipped up and cheated on her. We are planning to get married this year, so late last year I called her up and confessed, because I did not want to get into marriage living a lie. She forgave me and we moved on. Well, this past week I just found out that she also cheated on me. However, I only found out because I had an intuition and asked her. She lied at first but later came clean.

Now I am wondering, we have both cheated on each other. Is it wise to continue the relationship? Can we rebuild the trust we had for each other? Forgiving her is a given because she forgave me BUT shld we continue with the relationship or just move on and start afresh?

Answer 1

Only you can answers the question on what you should do. Do you think the both of you can move on and let this stay a part of your past? It’s hard to say that the cheating will not happen again since you live so far apart and really haven’t seen one another. If you feel that the love is there then I’d say continue with your plans to marry and let this be a part of your past. See it as a lesson learned and learn from it. Just because there’s miles between you doesn’t mean that you can’t be faithful to the one that you love. Stop thinking with the wrong body parts (the both of you) and think with your brains and heart.

Answer 2

Well my first thought is to say what did you think was gonna happen. You are in a relationship and don't see each other for three years and you expected to not see other people. I think the two of you should have been more realistic about the relationship and understood that you both have needs. There is nothing wrong with understanding that and agreeing to see other people but be open and honest with each other as to that fact. I think then things wouldn't be so up in the air right now. Now the both of you have to put it in the past and see it for what it is. Don't go asking questions about the other guy just leave it alone. In situations like these feelings came become confused to the point of a person thinking it is something more than it really is. This can only work if the two of you really believe in the love you have for each other and realize that it really wasn't cheating but two people trying to fill a void. I hope that the two of you can work it out. Just remember to leave it in the past and no hard feelings.

Answer 3

certain, I actually have. i idea that the infant change into the reason and it change into even worse because i change into no longer constructive even if it change into the reason. Now i imagine that we did not provide it adequate attempt to make sure what dragged us jointly - yet we are aside besides because lets no longer stay jointly - it change into merely assembly and leaving. so some distance as i understand we both attempt to have a sparkling better 1/2. / yet i'm too drained for courting / each and every courting has to have a answer or a reason. seek for it.

Answer 4

It wouldn't work for me if someone cheated on me, and since you both cheated, well you and she will probably never forget about it so what would be the point in staying togeather, just my thought. Some people can forgive and forget but it is nearly impossible. Good luck

Answer 5

If you both want it badly enough, it's worth it. If not, it's not. No one can answer this question but the two of you.

Answer 6

since your relationship is based on trust i do not see why not just go ahead

Answer 7

so become swingers then