my Mom is getting frail and refuses outside help.?

Question

I live near my job. My mom refuses to move in with me and I need to work so I can survive out there any suggestions???

Answer 1

This very common with the old folks and it is very difficult for family members. Just like when you have to take thier license away it can be a tricky thing to do. They have not lost thier mind but do not know what is good for them. You have to start makin decisions for them and they wont like it but it is necessary. You need ot get power of attorney and start to force her to follow your directions. You just have to be firm and you will definetly piss her off but thats called tuff love. Just do not be in denial about her condition. It is time to be firm and take control of her. Again they dont like it but they do not know what is best for them. You need to get daily in home care and do it weather she likes it or not. Them old folks are stubborn but you have to be more stubborn.

Answer 2

Boy, can I relate. I'm 57 years old and trying to live alone, but loosing the battle. My daughter and I have came up with a solution, its called a mother-in-laws house or AARP talks about it -ECHO Cottage Housing, but the principle is the same. You erect a bedroom, bath and enough of a house to make your mother feel independent, but you can check always to see that she is OK. Its like she can be independent, but is still being watched over by you.

Answer 3

See if she is above 80 years of age she will not listen to you. There are only two options you taking leave and staying with her or simply leaving her and going to job . So the choice is yours.

Answer 4

You need to do what is best for her. No one want to admit that they need help after being independent for so long. Life goes full circle. You start out dependent and you wind up dependent. You have to do what is in her best interest. You may have to be stern. God bless.