He will be going to all those places that I so much wanted to visit with him or we were discussing and planning to visit together. I have been waiting for a year and a half until he is done with his PhD so we could go to these places (he claimed he was too busy even for short trips, but nevertheless went with his friends to several places - again, my dream locations). I also wanted to go to some places but I was not allowed - he would get offended that I wanted to go on my own. Now he is going without me, and says that we can go there again someother time and it will "not be a big sacrifice" for him to go back there with me. I am very offended and do not know how to be reasonable about all this.
What would be your reaction in this situation?
Thanks!
2007-02-06 00:45:28 · 4 answers · asked by 20082008 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is telling you that you are not allowed? and when did you become his property? honey you need to break up with this loser and reclaim your independence. you are a GROWN woman and should be able to do what you want, when you want to do it. if any man thinks that they can tell you what to do and when to do it is not worth your time. but here is what you can do...plan your own trip and don't tell him about it until the last minute (like on you way to the airport). i hope that you two don't share an apartment together becaue that will only make things worse. you need to have your own place, our own job, your own income, and your own bank account. a relationship is not about ownership or telling one what to do. nobody wears the pants and nobody wears the skirt. a relationship (weather it is business or personal) is a partnership where each person is equal. now one may have different responsibiliites than the other but that doesn't mean that one is 'over' the other. if you already know the reputation of this place that your boyfriend is going to visit then you already know exactly what he is going there to do. so when he leaves for his trip...you move out and move on with your life.
if i was in your shoes...my reaction to that would be to move out as soon as he left on that trip. and then i would leave a note explaining to him what he did and how it affected me. if he wants a relationship with me then he will do so as an equal partner and not by telling me what i can or cannot do. if he cannot accept me as an equal in every sense of the word then it's not worth being in a relationship. i have literally cut off friendships with guys because of that. now they wish that they treated me differently. i dont take that from any stranger, family member or mutual friend...i sho as hell won't take that from my man. i don't tell him what to do and he doesnt' tell me what to do. i love my man and we have a mutual relationship and mutual respect for each other. he has his place and i have mine, with my own job, and income. i don't share a bank account with him either. i value my independence just as he values his. and don't sit there waiting for him to come home. he is doing what he wants to do and being with you is not it. now...what are YOU going to do?
2007-02-06 00:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is gonna be banging a lot of chicks down there, trust me. I'm from there.
2007-02-06 10:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by st.camilus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should just bend over and take it. You are getting SCREWED! he is gonna get strippers and hookers and such down there with his friends. Thats why he isnt going with you.
2007-02-06 08:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would do all of his friends while he's gone
2007-02-06 08:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋