How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:
*"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
*"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."
*"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
* "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
* "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
* "I am a rabid typist."
*"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."
* "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."
* "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
* "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
*"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."
*"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."
*"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
* "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."
* "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
* "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."
* "I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil."
* "Qualifications: No education or experience."
* "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
* "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
* "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"
* Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
2007-02-06 00:20:17 · 26 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The penultimate one also applies to me. I am an accountant and I can stand on my head - literally. Thankyou for cheering me up, and giving me a good laugh
2007-02-06 00:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant!! Particularly like the accidental ones like "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.", that is just a great claim to make about yourself!
2007-02-06 08:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by Amy P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There used to be a bloke I worked with who got everything wrong:
I've only got two pairs of hands.
We're human beings, not children.
It needs a hole welding on it.
Alcohol is ok in modification.
Sadly he retired.
2007-02-06 08:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
And Americans wonder why companies are sending jobs overseas! Very funny!
2007-02-06 08:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by cuban friend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good. That would make the interview less stressful for you!
2007-02-06 08:23:59 · answer #5 · answered by ARMY Babe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THATS TO HEAVY STUFF TINK MY PEA BRAIN CANT PROCESS 8/10
2007-02-06 10:02:19 · answer #6 · answered by speedy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha Ha very funny and witty,any more? hope to hear from you shorty.
2007-02-06 08:27:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never get tired of things like this.
2007-02-06 09:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL
9/10
I wonder which one applies to you Tink?
Keep smilin'.
2007-02-06 08:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea liked them!
2007-02-06 08:24:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋