Ok my best mate of many years and i got together a few months ago after he had booked a year long trip we both love each other and have said whatever happens will happen etc he has now gone and i'm finding it extremley difficult i just keep thinking i've given away the best thing to of ever happened me.
so anyway i should be saving all my money for a personal thing but my question is do you think i should forget about that for a while and follow him over baring in mind it will only be for a 2 week holiday in about 4 months but should i go will it maybe give our relationship help in surviving??? i love him dearly and cannot imagine my life without him even though we've promised to remain friends if thats what happens pleeeeeeeaaaaaseeeeee help me i'm going out of my mind........
2007-02-05 23:15:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
also he's been in touch nearly everyday and says he misses me alot. we did speak about me going over and he said it was up to me as it would be my choice of one important thing over another. he's genuinely a sweet considerate guy like that.
2007-02-05 23:22:32 · update #1
personally, i think you should let things go as they come. whatever life throws at you, you know u can bounce back from, and that's what makes you a stronger person. this friendship u and your ex have, it's like a little break that is needed so you can collect your thoughts and re-evaluate your situation, as well as get a break from it. getting to go on a holiday is a once in a lifetime opportunity if u havnt already done so. you're doing no good to yourself if you go following him. it would only make him resent you for being soo attached to him, in the long run. you need to learn how to be more independent and not always relying on him to be there 24/7. relationships dont work like that. there's always going to be hard times, and times where you're a long way away from them, but it's being able to last through that as a couple that makes your relationship with him stronger. i know it's hard, but u can get through this. believe in yourself and your relationship with him, and once he gets back, you can start to get things back on track and live a happy life. the way you live your life and the way u spend your money is up to you, but for a better future, you should think of what's best for you instead of what you think you need in your life. mayb u could save some money to go on a lovely holiday and get your mind off things, and when you come back you yourself will feel refreshed, like a new and better person, and you'd be able to make choices that are right for you. remember though, you and your friend were mates b4 you were a couple, and that in itself can last a lifetime. if you do decide to give each other another chance, dont let the opportunity slip away and tell him how you feel.
2007-02-05 23:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by kristyb872001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been friends for so long it is unlikely that he got with you without thinking really clearly about what he wanted. It is also unlikely that either of you would have wanted to risk your friendship on a relationship that you didn't think was worth it.
Sounds like you know how you feel - he's the 'best thing that's ever happened to you'!!! Tell him how you feel, if he says he feels the same then you might not even need to go over there to say it!
I think the trip out to see him sounds like it would be a good use of money but ONLY if you are really clear about what you hope to get out of that trip. E.g. Is that when you want to tell him how you feel? Are you prepared for him saying he doesn't feel the same? Will you regret spending the money then? Will it ruin the trip or could you look past it? (That's why talking about it beforehand would set your expectations)
One more question: how old are you? If you're both quite young and this is the first time he's been away on a trip he might need to develop himself as a person, there is a little chance that if you try to 'tie' him down while he's away that he won't want it and could be unfaithful, I say this because:
You get wrapped up in the spirit of travelling, maybe he'll snog a couple of people while drunk, possibly sleep with a random, but I have never heard of anyone who has done this with anyone who really meant anything to them. Travelling is like being away from normal life and things don't really seem real there. When you get back is when you really realise what you want and that is usually right where you left it!
If you can bear the wait it might be worth letting him get on with it, but maintaining contact so you're always on his mind, then when he gets back tell him how much you missed him and want to get together again. But don't worry if he's snogged a few people while he was away, they won't have meant anything compared to the history he has with you.
Long winded answer but basically I reckon: talk to him on the phone, wait for him to get back if you can, and don't go on the trip unless you're sure what you want. xxx
2007-02-06 03:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by Kat W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss this with him. Do not pursue this too hard. After all, HE should be the one to send for you, and pay for you to get there. Talk to him hon...let him know how you are feeling. If you are prepared to risk money, time, etc to go to him NOT KNOWING what will happen, then why not talk to him about it first...remember it takes TWO in a relationship. And I personally would must rather risk being rejected NOW then to live with the fact that I never let him know how I was feeling. He may have NO clue how you are feeling and this must be a mutual agreement...if it doesn't work out and YOU have been the only one to sacrifice anything then you will be left feeling bitter and rejected, not to mention broke.
2007-02-05 23:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by LisaLou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could say go and see what happens or stay put and if he loves you then he will come back. But follow your heart. Love is worth a chance taking. Life and love go together. So follow your heart. If your heart says go then go but if you are hesitant then stay. Good luck. Love always creeps up when you least expect it. I married my friend of two years, never thought he was the one, then i realised my chance took it i am happy and have two kids married going on four years now.
2007-02-05 23:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by elb.leher1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the practical side, you should probably stay and build your life toward your goals. But frankly, you're only young once, and you never know where a spontaneous trip like this may lead you. I say go!
2007-02-05 23:23:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a 2 week holiday, so why not spend it traveling with him? Go for it. Keep the romance alive.
2007-02-05 23:19:53 · answer #6 · answered by David M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on where u r going 2 spend ur money if its not important then follow him but if its important i think u should wait for 4 months.ifafter 4 months and he's still not back then you should follow him
2007-02-05 23:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by Beatrice R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your heart tell you to do?
Would he mind you visiting him for two weeks?
Do you have communication with him? If so, Maybe you should ask him.
2007-02-05 23:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by Hot Rod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go if you want to, but I think you'd rather stay at home and continue chasing your own dreams and ambitions.
2007-02-05 23:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you love him, right? well, if he feels the same way about you, then your relationship shouldn't fail.
you can do little stuff to and for him! send him a cute bear or something saying i love you.
believe me: actions ARE STRONGER than words:]
2007-02-05 23:21:42 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Random 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋