help, why can't i stop thinking myself as a victim during sleeping?

Question

every night i lay on the bed i think about the grudges i hold against people and how much they hurt me, i seem to enjoy the thoughts, what should i do?

Answer 1

Coming from experience, I can assure you that letting go and forgiving these people will change your life and your attitude. I suggest reading the book "Forgiveness and other acts of love." It is a great book that I just gave to someone close to me because even after 24 years, she still holds a grudge and the hatred associated with it of her father leaving her. You have to want to let it go....the feeling of when it is gone is refreshing and will change your entire demeanor. As a former hater and grudge holder, I let go of the hatred of two people who seriously screwed me over and it really changed my attitude toward things. Hating isn't going to change anything, only you can change how much you hate and how you love and how you live your life. Shame on them for hurting you, but by holding on to this, they are STILL hurting you and will never stop until you let go.

Answer 2

Like I said earlier, you've got issues when looking at all those questions you posted....stop blaming others 100% for how you feel the victim, you must not be perfect, right? Without knowing your story, are there things you may have done wrong that you are not taking responsibility for? That would require being really honest with yourself, to look at your faults, which if you feel 100% the victim, you must not have done.

Perhaps you have rotten things done to you because you are not assertive enough and need to learn to stand up for yourself more? Professional counseling could help this. Often, people filled with hatred also hate themselves...maybe you could work on self esteem as well...

Empower yourself in a healthy way, to keep from being victimized, and to save face...but the kind of thinking you're doing--revenge fantasies, or rage, is not healthy and if these thoughts are not nipped in the bud with professional counseling, could lead you to act out violently and end you in a life of misery in a prison cell....or to live a bitter life, hating the world and having no rewarding relationships or real love in your life....

I don't know what your story is---abused as a child, or raised by a tyrant, cruel caregiver who belittled and humiliated you, but you can get help....don't you see it? You're not free, you're imprisoned by your own hatred...letting go and forgiving, and taking responsibility for your part will take work, but will be liberating...

Prisons and bars are filled with people who go to bed every night thinking like you say you do, and with bitterness like in all the questions you ask...maybe you need to make peace with the people you hold grudges against, have compassion and understanding....sometimes people hurt us without intending to...

If you're an anti social person by nature, or have become so by social anxiety which keeps you from fulfilling relationships, you can get help for that...learn to have self esteem---often, like the law of karma, the energy you put out to people is what you'll get back--negative and apathetic or hostile vibes from you will be returned onto you from people, thus the cycle of feeling victimized repeats endlessly...

However, if you only feel this way about a few people and have SOME healthy, positive relationships, maybe you should just have nothing more to do with those people you have grudges on, because seeing them regularly is fuel on that passion of hatred...

In addition to therapy and self help books, maybe you could exercise or get a punching bag---drive the aggression out constructively till you're exhausted...write a letter to the people who hurt you--not a hostile one, but one telling them how what they did hurt you, and how that made you feel...you wouldn't even have to send it, writing it alone could be therapeutic...or make it a ritual, and burn the letter afterwards---or write all your resentments on a paper and burn it, to symbolize the power of those resentments or that those people have over you by your hatred of them to be eradicated...

And when all else fails, connect to an animal!! Get a dog or cat! There's a reason they say dogs are man's best friend! They're loyal, not malicious, don't lie, cheat or hate you (unless you abuse them), they always forgive you, etc...Fill your life with things you enjoy that make you feel an achievement--play guitar, paint, learn something new...or, stop feeling sorry for yourself as "poor me, victim" and become conscious of others' suffering in the world, and how they came out of it...get strength from that...maybe you could even help ease the suffering of others by volunteering...at a soup kitchen, an animal shelter or something--that will take your mind off your own plight...
ANYWAY--this is long enough, I sincerely hope that something I said here will help...just get help, AND help yourself---your thinking isn't healthy!!

Answer 3

I was always taught (as a child) "do not let the sun set on yr unforgiveness" maybe if you placed yrself in the other persons shoe's you may see a completly different perspetive and not enjoy it as much. read before you go to sleep, and force yrself to think about what you have read...good luck

Answer 4

Dont hold a grudge , just pray for them and God will richly bless ya.
That is not u enjoyin them evil thoughts, that is the devil havin
powers over u.

Answer 5

Write them down in a book or on a piece of paper and tell yourself you will deal with it later, then you should be able to go to sleep peacefully. Also get a life...

Answer 6

Talk to a professional.