Slept with my bast mate last night after several bevvies. We have been mates since we were five. now im not sure what to say to him. Even worse....he is getting married in four months and im cheif bridesmaid.
2007-02-05 22:42:05 · 49 answers · asked by kelley k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oops. Your very best reaction may be no reaction at all. And don't, for everyone's sake, repeat the performance.
2007-02-06 00:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These things happen. Do not think you are a bad person. Alcohol is a chemical that when consumed affects the brains neurotransmitters that play a role in our emotions. It changes the balance of your personality, giving rise to base instincts, suppressing the parts of your brain that help you know right from wrong. Feelings and emotions become confused and enhanced. You are literally a different person when you are drunk. Of course this is not a licence to behave badly as you should still learn a lesson from your drunken experiences and be prepared next time.
Don't let people try to tell you that what you do when drunk is really your true nature, that what you say when drunk is the real truth. How many sober men (or women) would sleep with the total loser they've woken up with after a bender ? Do you go on to marry them when you sober up, as they are what you must secretly desire ? I think not !
Obviously you have always liked this person and perhaps you are a little down at the moment and if all it was was a mistake then tell him quietly that as far as you are concerned it was just something that happened and will never happen again and is best forgotten.
The biggest problem will be how he wants to handle it, and whether he can handle it, especially when he gets drunk again and feels like telling his friends.
Believe it or not, it wont matter in oh, say, 6 years or so. Good Luck.
2007-02-05 23:13:14 · answer #2 · answered by =42 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you think its best if neither of you ever mention it again and you dont want any thing to change between you!You were both drunk and we all no silly things happen when you are drunk so dont feel too bad about it!But try not to put yourselves in the position that it might happen again!
Obviously unless you have both realised that you are actually in love with each other then he will have to change the wedding around a bit and you can be the bride instead of the bridesmaid!!!Good luck x
2007-02-05 23:40:39 · answer #3 · answered by jo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thankgod i'm not asking you to be my bridesmaid.... if you have no feelings for this bloke then just forget about it actually even if you have feelings for him forget about it. ring him tell him it was all a mistake and it should never of happened and can you just go back to the way things were.
to be honest i can see the logic in how it happened you both probably needed to make sure after being friends for so long that it wasnt and never will be more than that. i hope for the brides sake its the latter of the 2.
2007-02-05 23:18:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
may you pick to understand of your 'ideal chum' slept together with your boyfriend? i imagine you may. although, (and that is a large although) once you provide someone information that their better 1/2 has cheated all of it kicks off and distinctive the time they take that better 1/2 lower back, and then that leaves you out interior the chilly. The boyfriend wont pick you round because you stuck the knife in, the lady friend wont pick you round because 'you only about chop up them up' and the different lady? nicely, she'll probable under no circumstances communicate to you again so will lose out in each and each and every route. ideal determination is to enable her locate out yet no longer from you, and ensure there is truly no way it would want to have even come from you through telling someone you're able to not have. and then you deny all information!
2016-11-25 19:52:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think it best to never mention it again! These things happen especially after a few drinks and it's not likely to go any furthur so just put it to the back of your head and try to be as normal as possible. Probably best not to go out drinking with your mate for a while, just incase!!!
2007-02-06 02:12:53 · answer #6 · answered by kim t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wonder what the wedding present will be after a few bevvies!!!
1st - you should know your limitations on drinking
2nd - you disrespect yourself
3rd - you disrespect friendship
4th - how would you feel if you are the bride and just found out
5th- never step on another person's toe's the feeling is not comfortable when it happens to you
2007-02-05 22:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by iloeta1164 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wasn't the cleverest thing to do now was it !!! but heh we've all done some stupid things !!! think you two should have a chat tho check that he really is sure he wants to get married ! but then drink is evil makes us all do thing we would not have done had we been sober ! i do silly tings all the time when i'm drunk just gotta shrugg it off and get on with life ! not the end of the earth for you only sex really but for the bride to be it will probably devestate her and there wont be a wedding for you to be brides maid at :)
2007-02-06 00:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by Denise D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it happens! maybe because you are mates you were comfy with it!
try and forget about it and move on, if you have been best mates since you were 5 dont let it come between you! you are MATES
so what you slept together last night, shouldnt make a difference, doesnt mean you well fancy each other and you wanna marry him etc etc etc sex is just sometimes what it is, just sex!
2007-02-05 23:54:20 · answer #9 · answered by Jemmax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not that innocent...aren't bridesmaids usually the "friends" of the bride too? if you've been mates since 5 years old...sex should have been a resolved issue for you two. ah well its a done deal now...get over it and make yourself scarce in their life after the wedding and don't do it again. are you sure you're sorry? just asking.
2007-02-05 22:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by formerlylunesta@yahoo.com 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you speak to him about it - personally I think you need to tell his future wife, you don't want something coming out after there married that would drop you both in it!! Ask him though 'cause at the end of the day he's marrying her, if you want to keep it secret then good luck to you but these things tend to work there way out in the end. I doubt you will ever be trusted together again if you tell her- maybe she's not right for him??
2007-02-05 22:56:41 · answer #11 · answered by Soul Reason 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋