For months my relationship with my parents was kinda icy and distant. Last week we talked and things got better, though I kept resentful. Yesterday mom called me, was kinda sad. She got to know I have a teacher I like very much and that's a kind of confident, I talk with her when I need advice. Mom said, "so, you fired your mom, I'm no good anymore to give you love and advice". I said this was not the case, but sometimes I need a different opinion of someone who's not directly involved with me. But mom was desolated, cried, said she agreed sometimes she wasn't the mom I wanted but she was doing her best, she even apologized for hurting me sometimes. Though I still resent her, I felt sorry for her, couldn't avoid tears ended up hugging her. Though I'm still resentful, should I forgive her forget and start a new relationship free from resentments? She invited me to have a mother/daughter day this friday. Why should kids forgive parents if they dont forgive us when we make mistakes?
2007-02-05 22:07:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Kids should forgive parents and viceversa because they are family and even if you don't like this, they are the closest persons to you! Try to be closer to your mom, talk to her, encourage her and forget all these resentements. They are useless. You have only to win from a good daughter-mother relantionship.
Good luck!
2007-02-05 22:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by ice_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. Let me just say that I am 25 years old, and I had a very difficult relationship with both of my parents when I was growing up, so I do understand how you feel. My answer? You should definetly forgive your mother. Please start a new relationship with her, free of all the regrets and anger. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. your mother is the only mother you have in the whole world. you need to make things right with her, and make her proud by showing her what an adult you are. The main reason I believe this, is that life is too short to harbour anger and resentment. not to scare you hun, but your mother could die or disappear tomorrow, and then you would feel horrible if the last things you said to her were "i hate you". You asked "why should kids forgive parents if they dont forgive us when we make mistakes?". The answer to that is simple. if you HONESTLY forgive your parents when they screw up, you will be showing them that you are much more mature than they thought you were. Next thing you know, they will give you more freedom and more respect. This will definately strengthen your relationship with them. In all honesty though, I don't think its true that your parents don't forgive you. they know you are a kid, and you're trying to learn about life, and naturally, you will make mistakes. i think they may have a hard time giving you their trust back, but i definetly dont think they don't or won't forgive you. its all up to you! do you wanna take the high road and set the example or do you wanna be immature and have arguments with them all the time?
2007-02-06 06:24:10 · answer #2 · answered by waterlily750 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over the years, my Mom has said and done things that made me mad or sad. However, she is still my Mom, and whenever I have been in a jam, she is the first to bail me out. Forgive your mom and go on the mother daughter day. Be glad you have a mom who tries to be the best she can - there are many children out there with abusive or indifferent parents! Feel lucky and remember Moms are only human, and make mistakes as they go along. One day, when you are a Mom, you will look back on the things your Mom did and think "hey, that wasn't so bad", and you will probably do things that hurt your kids, without meaning to. So what I am actually saying is - we are all human, have faults and make mistakes - forgive and forget while you both still have time to make up for things. Remember, we don't live forever!!!
2007-02-06 07:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her apologizing to you was a start, and always remember she is always going to be your Mom. I think it is nice you do have someone you can talk to besides family for advice. Your mom may be feeling guilty knowing you didnt feel comfortable coming to her for advice. I would keep trying to work on your relationship with her and maybe one day you can forgive her. I would tell her how you are feeling and go to the mother/ daughter day. Remember life is short, how would you feel if your Mom suddenly died from a car wreck or you did. One of you would be feeling if only I tried a little harder. Give your Mom a chance and stay honest and open with her. Tell her also that sometimes you need more than her to talk to. You are so young and believe me when I tell you, your relationship with her is going to change as you grow older. My Mom has become my best friend over the years. We do things together and talk about everything. So hang in there and give her a chance. Go to your mother/ daughter day and put the past behind you and move forward. She is your mom and always will be. Hang in there and good luck, I hope you can work things out.
2007-02-06 06:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by helen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good news is that this is normal. Your mom just wants to have a good relationship with you but doen't know how. When I was 15 I figured out that my mom wasn't perfect. She didn't know all the answers. Your mom just had hurt feeling about you going to another person. Worse if the teacher is a woman...This is just another fun lesson in growning up. Your mom despite what she said would rather you went to an adult that you trusted then have no one to talk to. Wait a while with your mom. things will pan out in the end. As for the resentment thing. What ever she did/said remember that she said it but try not to dwell on it. She might be just as resentful to you because of the situation. Give your mom a hug, because she has just taught you a lesson. Where not all perfect...not even moms.
2007-02-06 06:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been where you are, I finally moved out and didn't speak to my mother or family for over 5 years, I absolutely regret it now, We finally reconsiled. We are close now, there is always that block of the years missed, we never bring it up, so try to make the best of it. You only have one mother and you are a teenager and mother/daughter relationships in the teenage years go through this, me and my daughter are going through it now, but EVERYDAY, I let her know that even though she acts the way she does i still love her and she is the one that has to live with the way she acts because i will not always be around. Think about that scenario. What if today, you had no mother, and the things that was said could never be taken back. So please patch things up, For both of you. and for the record parents do forgive you for the mistakes it may not seem that way but they do if they seem like they dont care its the case of tough love, but im sure she forgot about it by now, talk to her and explain everything you have said here. Im absolutely sure she would love to talk to you.
2007-02-06 07:15:34 · answer #6 · answered by DITZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She helped to send you on a guilt trip, sounds familiar. However, if you can find it within yourself to forgive her for being human and not always doing the perfect thing. Then yes, i'd try to start a new relationship with her free from resentments. This fridays mother/daughter day thing would be a great place to start.
Good luck.
2007-02-06 06:19:46 · answer #7 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your Mom is trying than I think you should try to. I sounds as though she has forgiven you for whatever has gone on with you to by expressing that she wants to be there for you and now you should try aswell. I don't think it is wrong to talk to other adults that are trusting if you have a problem, but in the end it would be great if you could have that with your Mom. It takes time and effort to stop fighting and getting along, but it'll be worth it! I lost my Mom when I was 16 and I wish I spent more time with her. You will never have another Mother and as long as she is not abusing you then whatever has happened can be fixed! Good Luck!
2007-02-06 06:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 15, hardly experienced and hardly clear about your future! Nevertheless, you are no longer a child, as you are getting into a new world, of youth and "maturity". So, stop behaving like a child and grow up with more respect for your mom.
Your mom is YOUR mom and you cannot possibly get a different mom. She obviously loves you and wants the best for you.
You should consider yourself lucky for having a carring mom with whom you can discuss things. Why feeling resentuful!!!!!?
You are the one to apologize not her!
Grab this opportunity of having good relationship with your mom before it is too late for you!
Good luck!
2007-02-06 07:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After some years you will ask the same question but the word MOM will be replaced by Husband / BF then after some more years the word Husband will be replaced by SOn / Daughter. Change your attitude towards the things and everything will look normal
Pankaj
2007-02-06 06:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by Pankaj B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋