Toddler bedtime...am I doing this right?

Question

My 18mth old has recently migrated to his own bed. The first week was fairly good only sometimes getting out, but in this second week he has now made a game out of it by constantly getting out.

I have kind of worked out a way around this. I just hope I am doing the 'right' thing.

I let him have his bottle (which he doesn't fall asleep on, so I can't see what the problem is by letting him have it in bed). Then this is when the problem starts, he will then either stand at the door and try to get our attention or just run into the lounge room.

I then put him to bed several times b4 I shut the door (for 2 minutes only), which in this time he cries and then I can put him back in bed and sit with him (without eye contact) until he is too tired to worry about leaving the bed.

Is this too harsh or am I doing the right thing?

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far, it has been a big help too me. I now have been reassured that I am not being too hard on him at the same time I have got some new good ideas to try. Thanks heaps.

Answer 1

Sounds very good to me. I would even start to leave the room before he falls asleep. That way he would not get used to you having to be there. You should be a comfot, not a security.
Just remember that the "right thing" is different for every child, and you know what your childs needs are better than anyone or anything else. No one should be talling you exactly how to do something, because they have not been with your child sence his birth. Do what you feel he can stand, and go with your instinc from there. Use books and people as a reference only and for ideas! Good Luck!

Answer 2

I don't think it is too harsh, I have done similar myself. Every single child is different. I found with both of mine that a new bed, for them meant it was a game. For my first born, I would lie with him until he fell asleep, which caused problems when my second born came along.

I had an off beat idea from a parenting hotline, when neither of mine would sleep last summer. My youngest was 18months at the time. The idea was to give them a torch and a book, put them to bed and tell them that they can read by torchlight for 15 minutes,with one book. This was brilliant, because they figured they got this time to play, and really they were winding down reading a book. Most of the time they didn't even make it to the 15 minutes.

Everything works for about 3 months with my children, bless them. So now we are using a children's mediatation cd, bought from dymocks. It is based on children's ideas, and they love it.

These are just some other ideas to try, because I know how hard it can be.

Answer 3

I don't think you are being too harsh he needs to know bed time is BED TIME, he is just testing the boundaries and seeing if you will give in, don't give in make sure he is comfortable, has all his needs and shut the door, lock the door some how if you can yes he will cry at first but once he knows the rules and that you wont give in he will know there is no point fighting you. My daughter does the same at night time I make sure she has been to the toilet has a full bottle and I put her to bed door locked, she doesn't cry at all now she knows I mean business! I check on her before I go to bed myself to make sure she is comfy and that she has a pillow and she is in her bed with a blanket she is asleep by this time so I just tidy her room up and tuck her in I then unlock the door for the morning so she can come out when she wakes up.

Answer 4

I have a 2 year old that has only just gone into a bed and she shares a room with her 4 year old sister. As you can imagine, sometimes they mess me around.
My advice to you would be to put him to bed at the same time each evening, read him a short story, say 'I'm going to got downstairs now, night, night good boy, see you in the morning' and then give him a bottle (which I still do with my youngest daughter) and leave, with the door slightly ajar. This is what I do and it works pretty much all of the time, although sometimes they stress me out with playing into the wee hours, but it's good exercise running up and down the stairs.
The point is, your son seems to know that if he kicks up a stink and misbehaves, you will come running. He has your attention.
If all else fails dig out the stair gate and frettin him with it on his bedroom door. If that fails- put it on.
Hope I've helped a little. Good Luck. xx

Answer 5

I don't think it's harsh. I just think there is an easier way to do it.

I saw an episode on "The Super Nanny" and what she did was constantly put the child back to bed with no eye contact, no speaking nothing. Even if it took 15 times she would do it without saying a word.

See if child doesn't get a response from you (which is what they want) they will see no point in misbehaving and will just go to sleep hopefully!

All the best luck to you.

Answer 6

I wouldn't shut the door. If possible, how about holding him and stroking his hair for 1/2 hr. every night before he goes to bed. You can do this while talking with hubby or watching tv. Maybe you'll have less trouble with him getting up if he feels relaxed and emotionally satisfied right before bed. Or reading him a sweet little bedtime story in his room would be nice.

Answer 7

it is time for bed, we brush our teeth and go lay down. you may say prayers and or read a story but then it is bed time. you are not being harsh. it hurts our hearts when they cry or need to be punished. but this our job as parents. we are here to help them grow into wonderful people and this is just a small step in that direction. for their health and your sanity. children need a good nights sleep. my own were in bed at 8pm up to 8th grade. i'm not saying they went right to sleep. but they knew the routine. that is important. good luck.

Answer 8

Not to harsh, l close the door on the second time l have to put them back to bed...

Answer 9

I don't think it's too harsh at all. Perhaps you could be even tougher with this. I'm not a parent, just repeating the theme other payments relate to me.

Answer 10

i'm not actively attempting to potty prepare my son yet both. he's 22 months previous. yet I have offered him a potty and confirmed it to him, and he also has reported "pee pee" and tried getting his diaper off, so I take it off and enable him sit on it (and convinced he took of his socks lol) and he purely sat there, and not in any respect went pee. He grow to be exceptionally enthusiastic regardless of the reality that, and purely about made me have self assurance he grow to be extremely gonna, then... not something lol