A very good male friend of mine just confessed to me yesterday of his having liked me for many years, whilst treating me to a very expensive restaurant with impressive views. It really puts a deep weight on my heart, for I care about him, and would give my 100% if not 200% to help him, as long as the girl he's after is not me. But what I learnt yesterday was on the contrary. In fact, because of me, he cannot allow other girls to enter his heart.
He knows very well the type of person I'm looking for. It puzzles me why he still confessed to me. Do I have a responsibility to make him give up on me? Or can I leave him be?
2007-02-05 20:23:17 · 9 answers · asked by Lilliana 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I already told him the truth, but he said he just wants to see me happy, and he would support whatever decision I make (meaning even if I choose someone else). I pretty much gave him the idea that he ought to give up on me. But he made it clear what he wants to do is up to him.
2007-02-05 20:27:34 · update #1
Hey, to me it was totally unexpected. He is only here for a few days from overseas. He didn't tell me exactly where we were going till just prior to it. And all this time, he even knows I like someone else!
2007-02-05 20:56:48 · update #2
Ok, not to mention as well, that he already tried to make it more than friends, like, 6 years ago, and at that time I was cruel, and told him the truth, and ignored him a bit.
2007-02-05 20:58:48 · update #3
It shouldn't puzzle you why he confessed his feelings for you. We can't control who we fall for. And the fact that he took you to a fancy restaurant and you went with him plus you admit you care for him means he has reason to suspect you might have feelings or at least believe that telling you his feelings is a safe risk.
Are you being honest with yourself about this guy? Are you keeping yourself from someone who might be a wonderful guy because you are searching for some other ideal? Maybe you've gone over this in your mind, but I think they are fair questions to ask.
That being said, if you don't have the same feelings for him, you really should be honest with him. Don't lay on the "let's be friends" line. If you have been friends for a period of time, it's ok to let him know you value his friendship but you have to be sure you clearly tell him you have no romantic interest. Once you do so, you also need to make sure you are not sending mixed messages by the things you say and do around him.
Ultimately, you should be prepared for the real possibility it might cost his friendship. But I can tell you from personal experience that you will both be better off facing the short term pain of losing a friend than the long term agony of trying to hold onto the friendship when one person harbors deeper feelings that are not returned.
2007-02-05 20:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by Justin H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just like the attention of having a drooling puppy on your doorstep.
You "pretty much gave him the idea"? You didn't come out and say you are not interested in him romantically because you want his attention and his lovely dinner outings.
You are using him and it is wrong.
You cannot be his friend because he likes you and will continue this behavior as long as there is ANY type of relationship between the two of you.
Break it off and tell him to go find someone.
2007-02-06 04:51:45 · answer #2 · answered by Avsky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you need to do is tell him very clearly and absolutly that you don't want him in that way and never will, so he should stop because a one way relationship doesn't work. And make sure he knows that you actually MEAN what you say, and not just saying it to get him to chase you like some girls do. Thats should make it sound and clear to him, but don't be mean about it either.
2007-02-06 04:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As his friend its your responsibility to be honest, like he was with you. What ever may happen is yet to be seen, you may still be able to be friends, there is no reason why you shouldn't, but if you cant, that's something you two may have to face. Support him either way, but above anything else, be honest.
2007-02-06 04:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by ashleynicole452 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how you feel. You don't want him wasting years and years of his life waiting for you to come around if that's never going to happen.
Be gentle.
2007-02-06 04:26:26 · answer #5 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your conscience. Tell him the truth.
2007-02-06 04:25:52 · answer #6 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that it will never work out between the two of you
2007-02-06 04:32:12 · answer #7 · answered by ntu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay friends with him...but be frank & tell him dat u dun feel anything for him...it will hurt him but for sure he'll understand...
tell him it's better for u folks to stay as friends...:-)
2007-02-06 04:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by an_angel_in_d_sky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-02-06 04:27:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋