My husband came home from Iraq in December. In about a week, he's leaving for a month for leadership school. About a week ago, he came home saying he talked to a Special Forces recruiter about joining up. So after leadership school he'll be back for 3 weeks before he leaves again for another 30 days for assessment. Then 12-18 months for school if he passes. He wants me to leave for NC when he goes for school even though he says he won't see me at all during his schooling. Do you think I'm being selfish wanting to stay back until after he finishes? My son is autistic and I have family here to help while I'm at work and school. Whereas, I don't have the type of support group there. I understand he's wanting to go further his career. But I don't know if I want to leave when I don't know anybody. Plus I feel weird living in a home which my husband will be gone with just me and my son...... Am I selfish and unreasonable like he thinks I am?
2007-02-05 20:22:02 · 13 answers · asked by ash 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I love my husband. But he's going into Special Forces for all the wrong reasons. To get away from this unit, because he signed into a MOS he doesn't like, because he hates Hawaii (he's the only person I know that hates Hawaii...) . He's furthering his career to escape which I don't agree with. But I do support that he's setting a goal but at the price of family. No success is worth that price.
I support the military. For goodness sakes, most of the males in my family have gone into the military. But I actually do love my husband and would like to spend time with him. I get that he has training that he didn't sign for but he could have waited a bit before trying to go to SF. Also, he didn't even bother consulting me before making a decision that will affect our family.
2007-02-05 20:43:55 · update #1
I don't think you are selffish. Perhaps you are looking at a bigger picture than your husband.
I think better talk to your husband again. Make him feel that your are 101% behind his decision. Other the other hand , let him know that since he will be gone for some time, and if anything happen at home, you would really like him to be there too. But knowing he will be in training , it would really help if you could get the support which you are getting here, without affecting to his training.
2007-02-05 20:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ho S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being selfish. He can do whatever he wants to do in his career, but there is no reason to move you guys. He can't see you during ANY of the training and when he is allowed he probably won't be in NC long anyway.
BTW, if he makes it plan not to see him much if at all. Guys in the Rangers and Greens are married to their work.
2007-02-05 20:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your husband that is being absolutely selfish and unreasonable. You make sacrifices when you get married and apparently he's not willing to do that. He's putting his career ahead of his family. No, you tell him he's the one that is selfish.
He wants to put himself more at risk by joining Special Forces?? I'm sorry, that's not right. He's got to think about his family. You do what you think is best for you and your son.
2007-02-05 20:28:05 · answer #3 · answered by drainelenie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get use to it.
Soon enough he will be Goooooooooone for a long *** time. I guarantee you once he is on an A-team you might as well not be married. If you have kids...plan on being a single parent. You think a 1 year stint in Iraq was tough...you have no clue whats coming.
Welcome to the highest divorce rate in the Army.
2007-02-05 20:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by I hate your face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are showing concern about you son not having a support structure when you move.
not only that but every thing will get turned upside down which will also upset your son.
then who will you have to support your self.
explain this to your husband however also remind him that although you may not be as near to him because of these reasons, that you love him very dearly and will support him.
2007-02-05 20:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by tracey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a wife of a military man is a supreme sacrifice because your husband is a soldier who is servicing the country.
2007-02-05 20:26:16 · answer #6 · answered by FRAGINAL, JTM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face it, your husband is a war junkie who gets his kicks from fighting. I recognize the symptoms, because i'm one myself. People don't join special forces just because of patriotism.
2007-02-05 20:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by Gunslinger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being unreasonable, but you did marry him, and he is doing what he thinks is right. You should support his decision.
Remember, he's not only doing this for you, he's also doing this for his country. You should be proud of him. Heck, I'm proud of him.
2007-02-05 20:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jolly1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he put more than enough time in BUSHES war and i also think if he loves you both he'll stay home and help,family comes first in my book...and good luck.
2007-02-05 20:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an ambitious man.
2007-02-05 20:24:50 · answer #10 · answered by ZORG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋