How do you cope when you miss someone really bad?

Question

I am really missing my hubby while he is in Iraq. What should i try to feel better meditation? I would like some suggestions to deal with the stress and the sadness. Thank you

Answer 1

Hey girl, be strong, he will be home soon. Let's hope and pray for the sooner the better.

There is not a whole lot of things you can do to take the sting out of missing someone, except to keep in touch as much as possible and distract yourself.

Does your hub have access to email? Can he send and receive letters from you? Can you send care packages?

You could do stuff like spray his cologne on your pillow, or wear his shirts around the house...if you think that will make it better instead of worse. Smell is a great memory jogger, it will throw you back to a time when you were together, and maybe that will get you through some tough moments.

Otherwise, yes. I would meditate, pray, hang on to that faith and tap into God's strength...whatever that means to you. It gives you an emotional well to dip into when you are out.

Whatever you do, take care of yourself. Proper nutrition, proper exercise, proper hygiene, proper amount of sleep, proper medical care. These are simple ways you can nurture yourself that really make a difference in how you think. They are things you can control, and they are positive. We wear so many hats as women...we are mothers, wives, employees, siblings, daughters, friends, etc. Being better at all these things means that you start nurturing the PERSON underneath all the hats. Treat yourSELF well.

This is also a chance to gain some independence. Try going new places, making new friends without his moral support, tackling work projects that used to be his territory, etc. In those times when you used to rely on your husband to help you, emotionally, physically, etc, try it yourself. You will be proud of yourself, you will be a better partner when he comes home, because he will not be solely responsible for those things anymore.

You can also pursue some interests of your own that ne was never interested in. Take a class, get a new hobby, etc. If nothing else, it helps fill up the time...and it helps you get to know yourself a little better apart from your husband.

All these things are new additions you can bring into your life...and if you create a new routine that does not include him, and then go about those routines, you will get used to not having him there. That sounds horrible but if there is nothing you can do to bring him home sooner, it is better to make a new routine for yourself than to sit around and notice all the times he isn't there??? Another thing, routines in general are great for your emotional well being. They make everyone more secure because you know what to expect from your day, and they make the time go faster. At the very least, with routines in place for yourself and your family, you won't be sitting around wondering what to do next, and letting your mind wander around, where it eventually will settle on thoughts of missing your husband.

So go ahead and acknowledge that he isn't here, and fill your days up to make the most of your time until he gets home.

Of course, all this is to help most of the time. Sometimes, it is perfectly natural, and even necessary, to give yourself TIME to be sad about it. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry about it. It's okay to be scared about it. It's ok to wish he was here. But don't sink so low that you can't pull yourself back up.

If you do get to that place...it is time for some outside help. Call a friend, minister, your parents or inlaws, another military wife, or anyone who can both commiserate and comfort you...as well as keeping you safe, reminding you that it is a temporary situation.

For what it's worth, tell your husband thanks for his service. I don't wholeheartedly agree with this war but that doesn't mean I don't support the troops. I also know it isn't just the personnel that are affected by them being overseas, it takes a huge toll on the family.

God bless you and your family....hang in there.

Answer 2

Find a hobby. Go to college. Re-arrange your furniture. Go shopping (but don't overspend!! - Dollar stores are good for this). Make some friends or hang out with your current friends & do things together. Go to the library.

Although it's not going to make you miss him less, these other things will get you to focus on other things, making it easier. I find that shopping, cleaning & making changes to my home make it easier for me to cope with something like that.

Answer 3

I think its ok that you miss him really bad, and i think it can make it really difficult if you try to conceal it with distractions. I think open up to your friends or family or new groups and tell them that your really missing him and are feeling the way you are so you can get some support, i find it helps me to say it out loud, get a hug and have a little cry and then i feel more bonded to those around me to let them fill up the void a little more, otherwise i just feel so disconnected from them and distracted by my longing. (((((hugs)))))) I hope he comes home soon for you.

Answer 4

Meditation can be beneficial. There are some excellent books regarding this (inexpensive) also groups you can join in your area. There are also methods for self hypnosis to help you sleep - I use this a lot as I have insomnia.

Or try talking to someone you trust, or see a counsellor for a few sessions.

Take care.

Answer 5

find a project around the house, that you can do to surprize him,....paint a room, rearrange the house, plant a garden,...go on a diet, something that you know will make him really happy. Go to Ebay, and start selling things on line to make a lot of extra money..just do the things that are posititive that he will love and show that you are keeping busy and out of trouble lol...I think that all the things that you can do that are productive, always helps. My husband is a fisherman, and he loves it when he comes home and I have made money for us, or redecorated the house, or lost weight and worked out etc..it gives you a sense that you are doing something for him and makes the time go by faster...and you thank him for me and my husband, for keeping us safe okay darling? xoxoxox

Answer 6

When my husband was gone, I focused on work or other activities like writing, looking at pictures, thinking of the future when he gets home, and things like that. The pain will pass as time goes on, but this time of seperation is only going to make your love stronger. Focus on ways to support him and what you can do to make his homecoming wonderful. You will get through this. I promise.

Answer 7

I don't know if you can, the best thing to do is to PRAY, GOD listens. Find things to do, get out, hang with friends, visit family. You aren't going to get him off of your mind or stop worrying about him. So pray, pray for god to lead you in the right direction and to give you strength to continue with your life.

Answer 8

Do the things that interests you. For ex., I like to answer questions in various forums.

answers.yahoo.com may be a good place for you to start. Or Play online games like poker, hearts, billiards etc., on yahoo games.

Answer 9

Arh, well i really feel for you, but u just have to remember that he will b back soon, and remember that he loves u just as much as u love him! Positive thinking should do the trick... but if not, just get a life size doll of him! Hehe, keep ya chin up! xx

Answer 10

call him if you still love each other. But if the feeling is no longer mutual, then I think you should get up and start going out. Have some fun!