i've confonted my mum about her 18 years of emotional and physical abuse towards me, she put me down, hit me or slap me whenever she feels like, she also beat me 2 times so bad i had to go to the hospital, the police even took the photo of my bruise. I have a similar personality to her which she doesn't like, she is very jealous of my loving relationship with my dad. her reason of abusing me was that 'you are a very difficult child', what she mean is when i was small, she asked me to do homework but i refuse so she beat the cr*p out of me, so its all my fault, she said i am a BORN BAD thats why i deserve to get beaten.. I am 27 and since moved out, please tell me was it my fault as a 'difficult' child? this is haunting me
2007-02-05 19:42:09 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Of course it is not your fault. You didn't make her hit you. Additionally, of course you were "difficult"....it is normal for children to be "difficult," not do homework, etc. Parents need to deal with it and take responsibility for bringing a child into this world. You never asked to be born...your mother/father are the ones that decided not to use birth control. Don't let your mother make you feel bad for all the abuse. She obviously has severe mental issues and has to deny what she has done wrong just so she can live with herself.
Don't be afraid to go to counseling...you've been through a lot, so maybe you should get a counselor to help you through it a bit. Remember, you can't be "born bad." You deserve a good life....it is time to move on with your life.
2007-02-05 20:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Under no circumstances is this your fault no child is bad or difficult its the behaviour that needs treated in a controlled manner and not i repeat not the child !!!! Obviously it was your mum that had the problems either depression or anger and found it easy to take it out on you because you would not and could not defend yourself. Adults find it easy to blame a child because they see them as weaker or smaller than them and its a lot easier to be like that towards a child than towards an adult. Perhaps your mum was treated badly as a child and this was the only way she knew how to raise you for if you have never been taught how to love how are you supposed to teach others ? Your mum is blaming you because of the guilt she most likely holds onto and she should feel guilty and i hope she always does !!! Please stop blaming yourself and hope your life gets better!!!
2007-02-05 20:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by Princess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it's not your fault. You are on the receiving end of it and was only a child. How on earth can it be your fault? That's just a cop out excuse to make herself feel better.
It doesn't matter how much of a (so called) difficult child you was. No one deserves to be beaten in that way. Maybe your Mum has unlying problems with something else and used abusing you to make herself feel better. Quite common.
Anyway don't ever feel like it's your fault. No way!!!
2007-02-05 19:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This was most definitely not your fault. It sound's to me like your mother has some serious issues non of which were or are your fault. Talking to a counsellor may help you to get over some of the emotional damage your mother has obviously caused you. Moving out was definitely a step in the right direction. I hope all works out well for you.
2007-02-05 20:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by partymad 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO! It was NOT your fault! Regardless if you were a naughty little sh!t or not - there are a lot of positive means of disciplining a child. It's not easy to ever let go of such a childhood in your adult years...it will affect you if you do not deal with it on a professional level...even if you think you have dealt with it and are fine for years to come, it will inevitably come up and bite you on the butt. No person is BORN BAD, such a load of hogwash! I feel for you, in all honesty! been there....... Take care...
2007-02-05 19:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by Bite Me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, i don't think its your fault, but maybe there is a reason behind your mum being how she is. Maybe she was unloved as a child and suffered the way you are now and that is why she is threatened when she sees that you are close to your dad. what i would say is that try and understand her and make sure that what she has done to you doesn't affect your future relationships, e.g you and your kids.
2007-02-06 07:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. No matter how tough a child can be it is never their fault. She was the adult and it was her responsibility to raise you to do what she felt was right without physical harm. You should go to counseling. I was abused as a child as well. It will help, esp as you become a parent if you decide to.
2007-02-05 19:49:08 · answer #7 · answered by amoritaspice 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO! It it definatly not your fault and you shouldn't think so!
You where a child, doing what children do, I hate to say your mother is a bad mother, but that is what seems. She didn't know how to look after you, raise you and love you.
It's her problem, taken out on you, she's the one with issues and looks like she wasn't ready to be a mother.
2007-02-05 19:46:36 · answer #8 · answered by cybermoose1982 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If that grew to become into the case each grownup in history could might desire to sue thier mothers and dads. Heed this poem: They **** you up, your mothers and dads. they won't recommend to, yet they do. They fill you with the faults they had And upload some better, in basic terms for you. yet they have been ****** up of their turn by fools in previous-form hats and coats, Who 0.5 the time have been soppy-stern And 0.5 at one yet another's throats. guy palms on distress to guy. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you are able to, and haven't any childrens your self.
2016-09-28 11:57:16 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it wasn't your fault! You need to get some counseling to help you resolve this issue once and for all. No child is born bad! Your mother is unwilling to take responsibility for her actions, and appears to still be in denial. You need to move on with your life. Good luck!
2007-02-06 03:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by grandm 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋