I am about to send my autistic son to a special preschool and I am a nervous wreck?

Question

My son is about to turn three in April. He will begin a state funded preschool at that time. He will be going to a public Elemantary school for 5 days a week for 6 hours a day. I am apprehensive about this because he is uncomfortable around people he doesn't know and has never been away from me and his dad. I worry about the teacher he will get and whether she will understand his needs. My son has feeding issues and still relies on milk as his primary source of nutrition and I worry that she will take his bottle away. The tough love approach is ineffective on him. I worry that he will have contact with the regular students who are not in the program. He cannot communicate with me to tell me if someone is mistreating him. Does anyone have any experience with this type of program? How did your kids do? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Response to " Honesty given Here"............ If I want him to get help, he has to go. Home based therapies are extremely costly at a price of 30,000 to 80,000 a year or more depending on which type you go with. I am nuturing and working with him at home as well, but he needs professional help such as speech therapy and occupational therapy and I am not equipped to teaach him. Also, he is not as low functioning as you may think. He makes eye contact and interacts on some levels and is extremely afferctionate and capable of forming bonds with people once he gets to know them. He has poor communication skills when compared to typical children, but he does use limited gestures and has a little speech capability. He mostly echoes, but there are a few words he uses in proper context, such as bye bye and thank you. He is actually quite intelligent and this seems the best way to tap into his full potential. We love him and want him to do well in life. Staying home is not the answer.

Answer 1

I am a childcare worker and have had the pleasure to help care for two autistic boys over the past year. One was very quiet and the other....well let me put it this way....quite the opposite! As you are well aware, every child is different..... My advice is to speak to the teacher about your fears, she needs to know to make it easier for you. At my child care centre, we have an aid/carer for each of the boys to help and assist them and also let them do things for themselves. It is government funded also. Each boy has had the same aid/carer with them over the past 2-3 years(they are both 4 now) Just chat to his teacher about everything you are concerned about. Also, have a note book to write down your sons events from school and over the weekends and ask his teacher to do the same for you while at school as sometimes it can be difficult to chat to a parent or teacher everyday and remember everything you wanted to discuss.
I hope this has helped you as I know how much you must be worried about your little man.
Good luck.....

Answer 2

a family friend went through it.she had to move 80 miles away in order to have her son placed in the school. the first month was hell for hell and the child.she was called to the school at least once a day. but in the end the child got to grips with it and is fine now. the teachers a trained for this and feeding isnt such a big deal.if your son is being mistreated he will be able to inform you.but in his way.its hard and more stressful for the parents than it is for the child. i think 6 hours is a bit much. could you try maybe break it down to 3 days a week for 3 or 4 hours.

Answer 3

I don't have experience with having autism in the mix but my son was referred to early childhood preschool with the school district for speech and social delays accompanied with sensory processing disorder. I made a point to go to the classroom before I enrolled him to observe so I was more at ease with it. I also made an effort to introduce him to his new teacher so he wouldn't feel so "thrown to the wolves" so to speak. My son is very timid and can almost seem autistic when around unfamiliar people without the comfort of mom or dad.

I would ask to be a part of the transition into the program, just being there if he needs you and to ease your own concerns as a parent. You can slowly work yourself out as you see him connecting with the teacher, staff and his peers. Be insistent with them that you want whats best for your son and you will seek help if they won't comply with you. He is your son, your responsibility and don't let them discount that. In most states, there will be a parents advocacy chapter that you can call to have your needs met. Just remember that he is your son and you call the shots. Best wishes to you and your son.

Answer 4

YOU will have your cell phone on, or sit in the parking lot with your parent seperation anxiety!!

Believe me, the school is informed and up to date on you child's needs.

they will treat him well, and if anything goes wrong they are trained to do the right thing.

I taught many children in preschool with autisim.
it was a challenge, but very rewarding.

Trust the school.
do know you have to give it some time.
trail and error, and you can start with 1/2 days, and work up.

the teachers will let you know, and the director you need to keep in close contact with, and ask for daily written reports on what he participiated in, what toys he played with, who if anyone he or she interacted with.

this will let them know you are a good parent..

you will have more anxiety seperation than your child.
I suggest you visit the school with your child, and stay for 30 mintuets. and then either leave your child for the rest of the am, or you both leave..
that way he knows the school, and that you are there for him.

Then the first day of school, take him to the teacher, sign him in, and say good-bye. be calm cool and collected, and depart without looking back.
Go to your car and have a good cry.
go peek into the window of the classroom, or call the director from your cell phone 30 mintues after you left, even if you are still in parking lot, and ask for progress report.

tell them in advance you will be doing this calling the first few days to ease your mind. and they may invite you to stay for 20 minutes to ease your worries.

whatever their policy is, they are trained and know best!

I have taught many and remain friends with 2!! they are in College now! wow! i'm getting old! they grow up so fast.

seperation anxiety is normal for you and your child.
clean break is best. no going back, let the teachers who are trained take your child's hand, and don't give into the crys, if there are any. and you go to your car, write in your new journal about your child's first day of school and what it was like for you to truly let go and let go take this one for you!

be grateful that they accept him into the program!!
i've had parents leer into windows, stay for 1-10 days is my max. and it didn't help them, when they left, their child said go mom!
and the mom would feel so sad.

it's not about you, it's your child's day to excell!!

trust! I have faith, all will go better than you could imagine
and enjoy the time to yourself at last!

Answer 5

You should give it a chance. Yes, it is difficult, but your son will eventually need to deal with people outside of the family on some level. Of course you are worried! But don't let it stop you - your son will never become less uncomfortable unless exposed to others. Give it a chance. And 'tough love' doesn't work on most kids with this type of problem (I know someone with Asperger's - different, but related) and it doesn't work with them either. I'm going to assume wildly that being in a special program, that these teachers are trained in this!!!

Best of luck and try to support him so that HE will have a positive experience. If he picks up on all your stress and anxiety (and autistic kids sometimes do) he will be too nervous also.

Best of luck to you BOTH!!!

Answer 6

WAIT A MINUTE! Why would you allow someone to take a special ed child away from you for so many hours a week? I could see if he were high functioning how socialization would help him some, but that's not the case! You might as well spend your own time nuturing him. He will not get love and attention from strangers like he would from you! And besides, three is too young to be cast off into the cruel world!

Answer 7

As any parent should do with their childrens school just make sure you talk to the schools principle and tell him your concerns and the speacial needs that your child has,allso discuss this with all of his teachers that way everyone involved with his education and wellbeing knows that you are paying attention to whats going on,as for being around strangers it will probably be good for,my cousin has CP and autism and allthough he is now older loves his time with his friends at school and other extracuricular activities he does on his own,Good Luck ;)

Answer 8

It doesn't sound like you've done a lot of investigation about this school. As his parent, you have every right to visit the school, talk to the teachers, observe how other special education children are being supervised and treated, and how much contact, if any, they have with the mainstream elementary school aged children.

In CA there is an agency called MATRIX, an non-profit organization that specializes in navigating the school system with special ed students. They're comprised of parents of special ed kids who've learned their way through the rat's nest of education code and the school system. There is MUCH the schools will NOT tell you you're entitled to, because they don't want to have to accommodate you. I encourage you to contact MATRIX if you're in California. If you're not in California, you really need to get familiar with the education code in your state and see if there's an agency similar to MATRIX there. Knowledge is definitely power in this circumstance... and you need to arm yourself in order to be able to fight for your son's safety and educational rights.

Answer 9

Give God the problem and don't worry so mucb.
I take it this is your first child?

Answer 10

State run school you have to be joking they beat them and sexually exoploit them there