My boyfriend doesnt know God and says that he hates him and for all he knows there may not even be a God. Growning up, being a christian was very important and i was taught to marry a christian and i dont believe in pre-marital sex. My boyfriend respects the pre-martal sex part but he just thinks I'm crazy that I have to marry a christian. He doesnt understand how that can be important when it comes to marrying someone. How do I explain to him why it is important.. now that I think of it I dont even know why myself why it is important?
2007-02-05 18:21:59 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are in the same situation as me. It is heartbreaking. I love this guy and want to marry him, and he says he believes in God, but that's about it, and he doesn't like to talk about it or anything. I met him right after I became a Christian, and even though my boyfriend was ok w/ me deciding to wait til I was married to have sex (i was not a virgin, but was "born-again" and wanted to start new) I found myself worrying that he secretly wanted it, and I ended up going against my new beliefs and having sex with him.
We are still together, but I have found myself very depressed, have lost touch with all my church friends, and just life isn't as it was before. Instead of putting all my energy into praising the Lord, I now spend all the time worryin about him and what he thinks of me, and our relationship. All I can tell you, is to pray for him, but keep God first. I'm in a bad spot now because I didn't follow my own advice. If you want to talk more, message me, k?
Good luck and God bless.
2007-02-05 18:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like there are three entities involved here. First person is you, the second is him, and the third is God. If believing in God is part of your faith then seek God's help. After all wouldn't He understand the situation you are in?
Meanwhile, I would not push your friend. Love him as he is. Live by example and it may serve you well. Remember if you choose to marry him than it is because you made the conscious decision to do so and you must understand the consequences...good or bad.
Good Luck. My prayers go out to you.
2007-02-05 18:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by thoughtsandtheliberation 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does love have to do with a choice of religion?? are you going to love a non-christian man less than a christian man??
You need to accept that people ARE DIFFERENT and have different values and think about thinks DIFFrently..DO NOT brainwash him. Do not try to convert him so that it suits you and your family. He has his own view on religion and many other things and that makes him unique and you have your own.. Just because you were 'taught' to marry this kind of right person, doesn't mean you have to follow the stupid 'rules'. It's almost some kind of discrimination..Oh I refuse to marry you because you don't believe in MY religion. I am allowed only to marry good good christian men. WHy do you think that CHRISTIAN man will make you happy? WHy do u think that they are BETTER for your children and for yourself? just cos they read the bible and htink that god is good doesn't mean anything at all. I've know a lot of christian people who are as dirty as dirt and haven't done anything in their life but covered their deeds with IM CHRISTIAN. IM GOOD cos i love good.....again..i hope you are not like that....again, i dont think religious preference has anything to do with your happiness. And think about it. Would you love this guy more if he was a christian man? I don't see why it is SOOO important to you. You can teach your children to be good without the bible and all that. You were taught (okay im not using brainwashed) to be believe that certain things are right and wrong...like it's important to marry christian 'good' man but really...it is YOUR CHOICE. you can choose your own path. don't blindly do everything you were taught is the 'right' thing..How do they really know it's the RIGHT thing??? is there a statistic that non-christian men are bad?? think about it..in the end...religion has nothing to do with love. you dont love someone just because he practices some kind of religion. im out.
2007-02-05 18:35:29 · answer #3 · answered by Feodora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A cristian friend of mine once told me this analogy. I don't know if its a good one, being an atheist myself.
Imagine a chair being your belief, and you are standing on that chair. The ground is your BF's belief or lack there of. Its alot easier to pull you down to the ground where he is standing, then for you to pull him up on that chair.
Maybe that is why.
He told me that in his community alot of women marry non christians and eventually get turned away from their religion because they get forced to chose between religion,going to church or stay home and be with their husbands and do non religious things.
My take on it is. If he can respect your belief and you can respect that he does not believe. You two stand a good chance.
Dont try and convert him since he has a right to believe what he does. Same goes for him. If he doesn't try and change you then you guys will be alright.
2007-02-05 18:48:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If being with someone who is Christian is more important than being with someone you truly love deeply, then you may end up unhappily married to a Christian guy, and justifing to yourself that the relationship is difficult because it's God's way.
Why not be yourself, and let him be himself and stop trying to force a belief on him and others.
I don't agree with the first response because I have no religion and my wife is Catholic, we get along just fine. We get along because we both have the same strong morals. You don't have to be of the same religion to get along.
2007-02-05 18:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes subject like religion, race, politics etc.. is not easy to convince. Only time may help.
As long as the person is an understanding person, compassionate, good hearted and does not condemn your believes but respect other people's opinion, I think he is an okay guy.
Dont push too much on him. You must also respect his believes and opinions.
Good Luck
2007-02-05 18:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by sonisunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't believe in God and you can't bring him to God then It will be a waste of your time. You will end up fighting about who is right in the relationship. I'd say try to lead him to God(Which is what God wants us as Christians to do) and if you don't succeed, reevaluate the situations.
2007-02-05 18:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by Stumpy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is it important? youre not even married to him and you guys are already fighting about it. only goes downhill from here. sounds like he's mad at God anyway. ask yourself who's more important. now im no christian, but if he gets mad at your beliefs then what kind of relationship is that?
2007-02-05 18:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a good christian and an atheist? you should consider your relationship. i know 3 couples, the guys and girls have different religious belief and none of them work out eventually. unless your boyfriend/girlfriend is willing to follow your belief, that's another story. but if you guys keep insisting on yours, then forget it, move on.
2007-02-05 18:27:24 · answer #9 · answered by williams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋