It never fails, when I become involved with someone new, things just move too fast. We spend way too much time talking to each other on the phone or through email and then suddenly the "casual dating" turns into a relationship. This hasn't been working for me lately and usually ends in heartbreak for me or the other person. I want to just date around and get to know several different guys at a time, like real old fashioned dating where you go to dinner or a movie and then slowly decide if I want an actual relationship. Then if I decide I'm not interested or vis versa it doesn't become a huge messy problem, no one's feelings are hurt and I can move on and get to know new guys. Am I the only one with this problem? Basically, I'm in my 20's and I want to get to know as many guys as I can to increase my chances of finding the right one instead of getting stuck in dead end relationships. I want to avoid "putting all my eggs in one basket" so to speak. Any advice?
2007-02-05 18:10:10 · 7 answers · asked by Ms. M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know what I NEED to do, I'm just not sure HOW to do it. How do I avoid spending too much time getting to know someone too fast? Do I tell them I'm not interested in chit chatting and that I only want to talk to them on our date? Not that I'm complaining. I appreciate that there are nice guys out there that enjoy talking to me and want to get to know me better, but how do I go about saying "yeah I want to take things slow, so please don't bother talking to me too often."
2007-02-05 20:38:12 · update #1
You need to listen to your own advice ! What you wrote about taking things slow and going to a dinner and a movie and doing things the old fashioned way is the best thing for you to do! Keep your options open and tell guys upfront that you don't want any strings and just want to take things really slow. Most guys don't have a problem with that, they usually like not being in a commitment especially not too soon. So this should be easy for you. Enjoy your life and keep your options open. It takes a long time to be for sure about who you really want to be with anyway. Enjoy the ride!
2007-02-05 18:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by yomama23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to stop dating for awhile at least. Hang out with friends. Find some great hobbies. Get to know all the great parts about you.
In my 20s I had the same problem, the only way I resolved it was to stop dating for awhile and hang out with my friends and do something new and totally interesting with myself. I always thought that I would be able to have a carefree dating with many people. But I found out when I tried this method, I would fall head over heels for any guy I was involved in. So I stopped dating altogether. I took a year off dating and it was the best time I ever had with my friends. After about a year, I lost the interest in dating many guys at one time but I still wanted someone in my life. Two months later I met my husband.
2007-02-06 02:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dancing schools and clubs are great places to meet up. Learn to salsa or do the foxtrot. You have physical contact when dancing, but it's not so intimate as you're in a public place. Meet for tennis matches - wear him out on the court! Meet your date at the cinema or restaurant so that avoids tricky situations later on. How about meeting your date/s at lunch times? Not as big a deal as evening get-togethers. Takes the pressure off both of you. These activities are great fun too and you meet more people etc.
2007-02-06 02:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW, great question. I know exactly how you feel, I also get attached too easily and get hurt. Then I joke to my friends and say next time I'll date 3 guys at once just for fun, like movies and dinner. I guess we just need to focus on other things in our lives and when it's the right time, the right guy will come. Remember, if it's really love it will come to you:)
2007-02-06 02:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by sweet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Date a few different guys all at once this will divide you attention so it isnt focused just on one and if you decide to date one of them you know you had chosen him from alot of other opportunities so he will best fit you
but warning whatever you do dont let them find out about each other
2007-02-06 02:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by SAgirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to read buddhism. I am from Nepal and I use to attend Bipassna Conferences every year. It'll help you to look inside yourself. Peace can't be obtained being extrovert. You need to be introvert and spititual. I don't mean 'traditional'. You should follow the Russoue's theory of 'back to the nature'. If you want to know about bipassana you can search it in google.
2007-02-06 02:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by gopal b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question. You know exactly what to do.
Why are you asking us?
2007-02-06 04:04:11 · answer #7 · answered by skidrowdan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋