How to handle my 12 month old's temper tantrums?

Question

My 12 month old son has always been a very easy-going and mellow baby, but over the last few weeks he's started to throw little temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. He'll scream and swing his arms around like he's trying to hit you or whatever and he also stiffens up like a board, sometimes knocking you in the face with the back of his head when he's sitting on your lap facing out. I'm not quite sure how to handle this since he's so small. I've looked him in the eye and firmly said 'No', but it doesn't help. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

You just need to ride it out. As long as you don't always give in and you make it clear that what he is doing is wrong it will pass. He's just learning. This is the easy part, wait till the terrible twos.

Answer 2

This is normal...your son has suddenly discovered that he is capable of making decisions for himself. Your job here is to let him know which ones he is allowed to make and which you will make for him for now.

I think at this age, distraciton is the first option. When he starts to throw a fit because he can't have the remote, offer him his toy phone. If that doesn't work, ask a question- What is the doggy doing? Do you see that toy over there?

When he stiffens up, I have discovered the best thing to do is, rather than fight it, lay him on the floor (or other safe surface) and do something else, not leaving him alone but not paying him much attention either. This action is about two things: your attention, and his dominance. He's testing you, and if you don't pass the test, he's the one who fails.

Time-outs seem inappropriate for this age, but considering that the 'no' stage usually doesn't show up for a few more months, your munchkin might be a bit more advanced and ready for a small time-out. The Nanny 911 book reccomends, I believe, one minute for every year of age. For a 12month old, 30 seconds might even be enough. He wants to go and do, so forbidding him to get up (even strapping him in his highchair.....) will get his attention.

Last, the thing where he hits you in the face with the back of his head- my now-three-year-old did this for about six months. The first thing to do is make sure he understands that this hurts. It's entirely possible he's just exploring his abilities and has no idea you're being hurt by it. The first time say "Ow!" with genuine pain and surprise. The next time, tell him, "You mustn't do that. It hurts mommy." If he persists (and I mean immediately after- you'll have to remind him that it hurts again when he does it, say, an hour later) then simply sit him beside you on the couch, or alone in the floor, explaining that if he is going to hurt you, he cannot sit in your lap. He may not understand all the words, but he'll get the gist.

Answer 3

Some times the terrible 2's can come early.

Mostly your son is trying to see what he can get away with. The things you need to is NOT let him get his way when you have decided different.

If/when he starts to throw a temper then pick him up and take him to his room. Let him know that his behavior is not exceptable. If It looks like he is going to or trying to hit you, take a hold of his hand and say NO!!

He is 1 and should be able to understand.

Answer 4

For me I use 2 different approaches. Either time out or just ignoring...every situation is different. If I can figure out where her frustration is coming from... I just help her with that. My daughter is 17 months & normally what I do when she does something wrong... I just sit her in the corner of the couch.Depending on what it is... she normally gets 2 warnings, but if she continues, she sits there & can not get up until I tell her (normally less then a minute). Or until she calms down & says she is sorry. That has actually worked REALLY well with her!!! She "was" having temper tantrums & screaming everyday. Now we can go days with out a issue.

Answer 5

i worked in a day care for two years, and saw it all, my suggestion is, you dont sound like the type to threaten with spankings, so just stick to that obviously, no hitting in any way because its really stooping down to his level. Instead talk to him almost like he is an adult, he will be a little surprised but sometimes might respond to that better. If that doesn't work, i always find that little "time out" chairs work too. Put him in a place that is in your vision and have him sit there for a certain amount of time, high times for bigger crimes, lower times for lesser crimes. Also another thing to try is taking away things that they treasure, not stuff that they sleep with, but toys you know that he enjoys, sometimes it doesnt work with 1 year olds, other times it does, it all depends on how his maturity is, a lot of times you may have to wait a little longer for boys to try this, but this one is the one i find most effective. Put it in some place that they cant find it, so that they spend time looking for it, like up in the top of a closet, and he will probably be more worried about finiding it then being angry.

It doesn't always work, i mean its a generic type of punishment that we used at the day care, so no promises that it will work in your case, but there is never any harm in trying.

Answer 6

you need to calmly tell him no and create a time out area(a corner or a small rug). you need to take him to that area everytime he acts out. whatever you do dont give in to what ever he wants and is throwing the tantrum for. he will probably get up and move several times you need to keep taking him back until he sits there for 2 minutes, however long it takes to reach that amount of time. after he does that get down at his level, look him straight in th face and calmly tell him that it is not ok to act this way and that you expect him to be a good boy. be consistent and it will cut down how much he does this. you still have a tough couple of years ahead of you, just remember to be calm and consistent. if you yell and get angry you are re-enforcing his negative behavior by example. hope this helps and good luck

Answer 7

At one it's hard to do much except be patient and ride this phase out. Obviously you should give in to what he wants (as long as it's not a need obviously) and just don't give the behavior much attention.

Answer 8

you don't want to over-react and you don't want to under-react.. I remember that feeling.

I chose those moments to take a deep breath, calm WAY down, lower my voice to a near-whisper, and say into his ear, "This is not the way we behave. It's time to ______. I know you don't want to, but it's time." If they don't calm down, then a) I definitely do NOT allow them to have whatever it is they want... and b) I didn't force getting what I want.. that just makes it a huge power struggle. I just dealt with the behavior.. so lay him in his crib and let him stew a bit. Then try again. All with a Grace Kelly-like calm serenity... That let's him know he's not gettin' to ya!!

Answer 9

I can't help you. I have a 7 year old and he still throws tantrums.

Answer 10

I would reward every little teeny tiny thing your child does that models good behavior and make it as much fun as you can and they will see how much better positive behavior can be and how your reaction is so pleasing and try to ignore all of their temper tantrums