I'm an assistant to a physical therapist (from Slovakia). This happened Nov.'06 at work. That day, was working with a volunteer who's fluent in French. That time, was trying to learn Slovak words for fun so I can use them on my boss. My supervisor came to brief me about a new patient, who also speaks French. Myself, I like to learn French & my boss knows it. My boss said, maybe you can practice your French with him (patient), as long as you don't say, " " to him. He said it in French & can't recall the phrase. He said the French phrase jokingly. I said, what does it mean? I don't know what it means. I told him, my volunteer is fluent in French & she'll translate it for me. He excused himself but I noticed his face blushed. I asked the volunteer to translate as soon as he left & she said, are you sure you want me to say it? I said yes! Translation was, WILL YOU SLEEP WITH ME? Instantly, I felt uncomfortable & embarassed. Is it sexual harrassment or am I just being too uptight?
2007-02-05 16:22:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
I think he said that because the phrase "voulez-vous couchez avec moi?" (do you want to sleep with me?) is usually well known worldwide (have you ever heard the song "Lady Mermelaid"?) and it's usually for fun. I remember an episode in Friends when Monica is dating a Guy who speaks several languages and she says that she likes french and everytime she goes to a French restaurant she says to the waiter "voulez-vous couchez avec moi?", the other guy stared laughing and she asked why, he told her what that meant and she said "wow no wonder why i always get a good service" and laughed.
I've also heard that phrase in other funny situations. I think the guy you're talking about also knows the jokes around the phrase. Therefor i don't think you have anything to worry about, i was just a joke, he also said "as long as you don't say...." maybe because he knew that that would make some people uncomfortable.
Like others said to you, sexual harassment can be interpreted so many ways but i think that as long as he doesn't molest you nor ask you sexual things you shouldn't be so uptight, if he says something you're not comfortable with just tell him to stop.
Good luck
2007-02-05 17:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by chris_keever2000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The definition of sexual harassment is something that makes you feel uncomfortable in the workplace, so if you felt uncomfortable, it could be considered harassment.
In this case, I don't think that the person was trying to ask you to sleep with him -- this French phrase is well-known to Americans because it appears in a famous song. I think he was just trying to make a joke based on the a French phrase he knew, and it happened to be a joke in poor taste. I'm sorry that you felt uncomfortable. I suspect that it probably won't happen again.
2007-02-06 11:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes to both questions. It is sexual harrassment, and you are way too uptight.
Sexual harrassment is so broadly defined that anything which makes you uncomfortable can be grounds for a lawsuit. On the other hand, you really have to weigh your discomfort against the consequences of filing a suit. It will ruin this mans' reputation, cost him his job, his career, and maybe his wife. Was your discomfort so severe that this result will make you feel better? If so, go for it.
Or, act like an adult and tell him that you did not appreciate his little joke, and that you would appreciate it if he would refrain from such unprofessionalism in the future.
2007-02-05 16:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by wuxxler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only once, just a stupid joke. A pattern? Sexual harrassment. Wait to see if it becomes a pattern. If it does not and he apologizes, forgive him. If the man hasn't been in this country long, maybe he isn't accustomed to our anti-sexual policy at the workplace. I know some people will blast me and say "If you live here, you must adhere to the local way". I agree but it takes time to change a lifetime habit.
I doubt you could make a legal case out of this unless (like I said) it is a pattern and you will need witnesses. Documenting wouldn't help because it's your words against his.
2007-02-05 18:12:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Will you sleep with me" is one of several phrases that a person first learns in any language. Technically, his act could be construed as sexual harassment, but I do think you are being uptight about it. If your boss has done other things that seem inappropriate then I might say otherwise. If it is a one time thing, then I would let it go. Or tell him about how it made you feel and then let it go at that.
2007-02-05 16:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by Gin Martini 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexual harassment? By who's standard?
Nowadays, the basis of sexual harassment is whether or not some money-hungry lawyers can use the situation to make a buck. Of course they want to make a buck, so of course it has to be sexual harassment. If it wasn't, then the system wouldn't make money.
What does your conscience say? Mine tells me it was a thoughtless word with no harm intended.
There is a difference between what is ethically and morally right and what is legally right. I hope you put the legalities in the trash can and let your conscience speak to you.
2007-02-05 16:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he made a joke and I wouldn't take it too seriously, especially since didn't want you to say to the person voulez vous etc; but here's the however: If it should happen again, tell him politely that you feel uncomfortable and don't like it. And should he do it again call the labour board in your city and put a complaint in writing.
2007-02-05 16:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it was but I'm sure he didn't think you would have understood or had anyone there to translate for you, hence the red face and excusing of himself. I call that foot in mouth, might want to ask your volunteer how to say that one to him. I would just watch out for other remarks and report it asap.
2007-02-05 16:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by tabbikat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at the same time as the harassment will grow to be sexual, that is sexual harassment. Touching, innuendo, gestures, puppy names, looks, etc... you may absolutely tell at the same time as someone is pushing aside a violent vibe as against a sexual vibe, or at the same time as they're putting out both.
2016-12-03 19:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by klosterman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being too uptight. It was a joke. A tasteless joke, but a joke. Life happens. Instead of blaming it on others we should just deal with it and grow stronger, so every little word doesn't effect us.
2007-02-05 18:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by The Link 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋