My partner and I broke up a few days ago. We were together for 5 yrs and lived together for most of this. We don't have any children. Our relationship hit a downward spiral a while ago, its impossible to pin point when or what caused it.
He was staying a mates house after cricket and was planning on a boys cards night. I called him to see what he was doing, if he needed a ride home as he dosnt drive, we talked for a bit and then got into an argument about something and then he told me he was moving out. We had another fight becasue I didn't think he was being serious. Later that night I went to meet him and we talked and he told me he wasnt in love with me any more and that he was reallly moving out. He did and he has moved in with a friend that I trust. This friend will be good for him as his others like to party loads. We have seen each a bit since. It has only been 3 days. We haved talked and I have told him I will wait for him.
Any advice as to what I can do to feel better?
2007-02-05 16:06:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Surround yourself with friends that are good for you. Read some good books, watch some good movies, and basically get out of the house. Do not dwell on the what ifs too much. As far as waiting for him....does he want you to? Does he think he needs some time? If he is okay with you waiting for him, then give him that time, but don't put your life on hold forever. Right now you just need to get some joy in your life and fill the void with anything that makes you feel good about yourself (of course I am not referring to other men). Good luck sweetie.
2007-02-05 16:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 16:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by Marcela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go; when his senses return after three days, he'll return. You can pin point what caused the downward spiral "awhile ago", just think, and focus what happened at the outset of the break up, a death, loss of a job, basis of argument, depression , use of drugs, drinking. After 5 years no marriage proposal, I would say he's not serious, especially when he told you, there's no love between the both of you as he sees the relationship. Then he moved in with a friend you trust, I take it the friend is a female and your lover's eyes have been doing a bit of "prospecting" prior to his moving in with her--and you trust her,eh?. She never said anything to you prior to his moving in with her, Hmmm
To feel better find a job, should you not be working, join a church, do volunteer work---just a few suggestions to meet other men
2007-02-05 16:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by fran t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This'll sound frustrating, but really, time is all that will truly help. Or take a stab at doing things on your own, now! Embrace being single--try to get out there, maybe even taking a mini-vacation solo, or going to a museum, hike, explore the world around you. Getting out and doing things on your own will likely infuse yourself with a great feeling of independence, and take the sting out of the shock of loneliness. One thing I DON'T recommend is jumping into a rebound relationship...those are automatically geared towards failure, disappointment for both parties, and prolonged heartache for yourself. After five years, being "alone" will seem tough, but try to bear it--after all, you're never alone. You, yourself can be the best sort of company! And when you feel ready, get back in the swing of things and find someone right for YOU.
2007-02-05 16:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by Kapitan Nemo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it time, sounds like there are serious issues. Don't pressure him. Go on with your life while you wait. If you truly love him, you will let him straighten out what he needs to straighten out. If you find he's only calling you when he "needs" something (rides, sex, etc) then you'll know he's only hanging on because he hasn't found someone else yet. If he stops calling and all, give it a month and then begin to heal. The most important thing is that you don't waste this valuable opportunity to explore yourself and your wants while he's making up his mind.
2007-02-05 16:22:06 · answer #5 · answered by capeal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just have to give it time. I had to deal with ending a 4 yr relationship and we are still friends. I didn't know which way was up at the time and all seemed pointless but in the end everything turned out OK. Find something that you like to do to occupy your time and keep your mind off of it, and don't do things that you will regret like eat a lot of junk food. In fact do the opposite, I think you would enjoy getting out and going for a walk. I don't think its healthy to set a commitment like I'll wait for you. That just gives you false hope and in my experience its best to just cut the strings completely. "If you love something let it go and if it comes back to you its yours"
2007-02-05 16:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by Dereck 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy for 5 yrs.-didn't live with him, but spent my weekends with him. Broke up. Yes, it's hard to go thru-tears and all that stuff. Couldn't be friends. Lost contact with him. Another guy I dated 3 yrs., spent time on the phone every day, and as much time as possible together otherwise. Broke up with him, tried to "be friends"-too soon after. Total break off-accept for "acquaintance" level. If we come across each other once in awhile-we can "chit-chat" for a few min. That is working. Maybe one day we will be friends, maybe not. It hurts to break up, please give it time. If this man wants you back-he will try again. If not-then there is someone better for you in the future. Take care.
2007-02-05 16:14:49 · answer #7 · answered by SAK 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You spent a good chunk of your life with this person and they obviously mean a lot to you. You can't do much now except wait. But how long are you willing to wait for someone you care about? is what you have to ask yourself. In the mean time create some distractions for yourself, get caught up in stuff you have neglected, get together with some friends and chat. Don't let yourself be miserable over this for too long, it may not be worth it, But then again it may.
2007-02-05 16:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by Paula B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sound like you just need time to deal with the fact that someone
that you love has broken up iwth you after a long period of time
but just take it slow dont rush it. as for hm he may need the space as well but dont just wait around for him to come around
he may and he may not. but it only been a couple of days so
just give it time.
2007-02-05 16:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accept his decision and don't wait around for him to change his mind. You deserve to be with someone that loves you and values you. I know it's easy to say, but you will get over him once you accept that he doesn't love you anymore. Why wait for someone that doesn't love you anymore?
2007-02-05 16:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋