Okay... So I've been going out with this one guy for a while. This is my first long-term, steady relationship. I've gone out with other guys, but nothing has been this serious and most of my previous relationships were really casual.
I really, really like this guy, but sometimes I feel freaked out when he says things like "always" and plans things really far in advance. I'm just freaked out because I don't know if I can or want to be with him forever. I'm not sure if I want this to be "it."
I feel really comfortable with him, and I don't want to lose that feeling, but part of me doesn't want to be limited to just this.
Are my feelings normal? Is it just a commitment problem? Is it okay for me to not want to think that far ahead? If not, how can I figure any of this out and deal with it?
2007-02-05 15:50:59 · 10 answers · asked by ladedaaaas 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Awww, it's alright. You're totally normal! It doesn't sound like you have commitment issues since you said that this is your first long-term steady relationship. If this becomes a pattern, THEN maybe you should question yourself. Relax and just go with the flow and have fun!
2007-02-05 15:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by Natalie Donnae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i use to think that way too before i got engaged, scared of being locked up in a relationship focused on one thing and so on but after a while my love grew for him and soon i found nyself wanting a commitment its not how much you feel comfortable and secure with a person its how much you love a person and care about that person give it time talk to him tell him how you feel if you really love you and hope that it works out for the best...
2007-02-05 15:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Baby_K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gush man, why are you women so, how Can I say it? without offending you, don't you think we also have doubts but you girls you must understand that a guy if he really likes you he has to prove to you that he is going to be committed because you will too...talk to him with honesty and put things upfront go to your church and listen to some advises and things that happens to people, not everything is pink color, nor dark, there are ups and downs and if you are doubt full don't get on the ride because many prove to be cowards and they jump off from atop. God Bless you and He may direct you to the right path...but you must obey Him. (God) that is, and also your husband when you find out he's correct.
2007-02-05 16:01:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be saying those things, THINKING you WANT him to say them. Communicate VERY clearly and directly that you're just being CASUAL right now, that you won't want to talk about long-term plans and have no desire to. Also let him know if it continues, or if that's what HE wants, then it's not going to work out for you.
2007-02-05 15:53:28 · answer #4 · answered by LD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it easy, go with the flow. If you can enjoy his companionship and treasure it, it's a good bond.
nobody likes boundaries, sometimes, it can be scary too. so if his future plans scares you, to others they may even runaway, it's normal. Before acting sending him away, be sure of the consequences, it may take years to forget what you both could have, or it may make you happier, depends on your independence, personality. but always... treasure what you have. Sometimes you only know its value when you lose it.
2007-02-05 20:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by beercoronita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just talking. He hasn't proposed. Try to let yourself enjoy his devotion to you, and let yourself feel flattered that he thinks about you in terms of "always." Why are you afraid of commitment? You're not committed to him, and you don't have to be if you don't want to. If he's the right one for you, you will know. If he's not the right one for you, you'll know that too. Enjoy the journey. Freaking out will ruin it for both of you.
2007-02-05 15:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know what...i had that same feeling with my g/f.
like my friends keep telling me "oh u shouldn't start a seriouse relationship blablabla".
i thought about it so many times and then i realized something...i really love her with all my heart and she's the one for me.
so if u think he's not the one then dont start nothing serious at all.
go with ur feelings :-).
2007-02-05 15:56:43 · answer #7 · answered by love4music 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes those feelings are normal...he doesnt really mean always, its impossible for him to say that and COMPLETELY mean it at this point.
dont think too much of it
2007-02-05 15:54:34 · answer #8 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about your feeling, but dont make it seem like it's a "break up" talk, but be open with him, he might return it and tell you something he dislikes about you
2007-02-05 15:54:13 · answer #9 · answered by just_right_for_u33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Stop wasting his time.
2007-02-05 15:53:19 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋