My hubby and son have volunteered to do the church signs each week - the problem? First of all they can't spell, so..... being an English major all I need is some ideas. I have researched a lot of web sites and the sayings are things I have seen around every where. I need some original ideas, especially since our church is off of a main road (but as a plus, the road is a cross through to another major road so we get a lot of traffic). Any ideas? Bless their hearts, I know I am going to have to be the one stuck out in the elements putting these letters up so they make sense.
2007-02-05 15:47:48 · 7 answers · asked by Denise C 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
"If you love someone, threaten to burn them in hell for eternity." - God
"Don't do as I do, do as I say." - God
"You think YOU'RE a victim of child abuse?" - Jesus
"I could prove my existence, but then nobody would get to go to hell." - God
"For I so loved the world that I sacrificed Myself to Myself to appease My own anger at My own creation." - God
"Go to Hell." - God
"If you don't worship me, I'll force you to live in a lake of fire for eternity. But I love you. No, really..." - God
"It's the best I could do. I'm only omnipotent, omniscient, and immortal" - God
"Worship me, or I'll torture you forever." - God
2007-02-05 15:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 5⤋
As a pastor, I'd rather bless you for your commitment to the Body of Christ. Bravo and Praise the Lord.
As you know - short sayings are critical so I can read them in 1 drive by. Literate is also helpful and as you suggest, says volumes about the church. PLEASE be sure the times of service are clearly displayed, especially special occasions.
Here are some starts: and again, blessings.
g
From: Dianne Hicks [mailto:amoshicks@bellsouth.net]
Sent: April 23, 2005 8:31 PM
To: avcris@earthlink.net; amoshicks@bellsouth.net
Subject:
God's love and wisdom to all those you have contact with and even bless
someone you don't know.
!
26 Beautiful One-liners
1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be
the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10 We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.
2007-02-06 00:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to do the sign at my church, and like to pay attention to other signs I see. One bit of advice- don't put it up just because it 'sounds good' or makes people feel warm and fuzzy inside, put up something that speaks God's truth clearly. I'm glad you are aware of grammar, etc; as I've been given some signs that were 'grammatical monstrosities'. Anyways, here are a few good ones-
The Rapture- the real separation between church and state.
Don't test the Lord, trust the Lord.
Life minus love equals zero.
Jesus built a bridge with two boards and three nails.
When Satan knocks at your door, ask Jesus to answer it.
We are made in God's image. He is not to be made in ours.
Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
Money cannot change a moral problem.
You will never know God better than you know His Word.
Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.
Wealth is not what you have but Who you have.
Eternal fire insurance available here, free!!!
If God is your partner, make your plans large!
Stop, drop, and roll doesn't work in hell.
Do you smell like Jesus? 2 Cor. 2:15-16
I hope these have helped! Also, along with the above, nothing beats a good scripture! God bless you and I hope the sign ministry works out, it really does reach alot of people!
2007-02-06 00:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by The Link 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you post this again, tell us how many characters you have to work with.
My favorites are
Strength of character is not measured by special exertions, but by habitual acts. Blaise Pascal
I will show thee my faith by my works. James 2:18
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
And Jesus said "X = Y squared"
And James sais "Lord, another parabola"
(Garrison Keilor)
My denomination has been using what it calls the "Wayside Pulpit" for 90 years. Here is a link to accumulated epigrams:
http://www.uua.org/worshipweb/wayside/
They may be too liberal for you folks. Since they have been up before, they are not original; that does not mean everyone in your area has seen them, nor that they are untrue. The site has categories:
Working Around Sexist Language
Action and Activism
Adventure
Aging
Change
Character
Children
Conscience
Conviction and Belief
Courage
Diversity
Dogma
Doubt
Faith
Forgiveness
Freedom
Giving
God
Hate
Hope
Humanity
In Memoriam
Interdependence
Intolerance
Justice
Knowledge
Life
Love
Mindfulness
Nature
Parenting
Peace
Reason
Religion
Religious Community
Science
Self and Self-knowledge
Society and Social Structure
Success
Time
Truth
Uncertainty
War
Will and Determination
2007-02-08 11:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol ! Sounds like you've got quite a job on your hands.I doubt I could get my brother to stand outside putting up the letters either,so you're not on your own!
Anyway,I found this website.I'm not sure if you've already looked at it or not,but it's the best I could find.
http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/churchsigns.php
:)
2007-02-06 00:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by Serena 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you figure out what you want it to say, type it out on your computer in BIG print, spell check it, and give it to them to put up the letters. They can't go wrong with that. Or ask the minister to tell you want he/she wants out there.
2007-02-05 23:53:11 · answer #6 · answered by tonks_op 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best position is on your knees.
2007-02-05 23:58:08 · answer #7 · answered by Metal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋