my bf control me very much.. I'm not allowed to go out with friends. only can hang out with his relatives. feel very controlled. but i can't bear to leave him.. what can i tell him that my friends are good people?
2007-02-05 15:32:19 · 24 answers · asked by larisnotme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am 25, he is younger than me.
i tried talking to him many many times, but when it happens he just refuse to talk. he kept quiet all the while...
He had mention quite a few times that he wanted a break up.. but i just refuse..
2007-02-05 18:15:59 · update #1
You cannot change a controlling man. Trust me...I tried for five years. The only thing you can do is refuse to be controlled by getting out. Do not think this will get better. He doesn't see a problem with it and most likely never will. Why is it you cannot bear to leave him? My ex made me feel that way. It was because he became everything to me. I had nothing but him and my child. It made it hard to leave, and don't think he didn't know it. This is what they do. Please get out. As hard as that is going to be, you will be glad about it in the future. Finally I realized that this was the worst example of a relationshp I could show my child and I got out.
2007-02-05 15:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, your situation is not a good one at all. Please trust me that no one should ever have that kind of control over you. He's good at it because he can and you allow it. A healthy relationship doesn't limit normal activitiies of another person. You deserve to go out with your friends, talk to whoever you want and be around others. He is controlling because it gives him power over you and deep inside he is insecure with himself. I understand you have strong feelings for him, therefore you can't bear to leave him, but I suggest you think about it deeply. It's not a sign of "love" or that he cares too much or is being protective. As females, because we are emotional beings, we may mistaken these actions as "love". The reality of it is that it will only get worse and eventually isolate you from the world that you used to know. Therefore, making you more vulnerable and easy to manipulate by him. Please think it over carefully and decide if it's worth it for you. Some day you are going to find a guy that truly cares so much for you that he gives you unconditional love, trust and kindness.
2007-02-05 15:43:02 · answer #2 · answered by artutina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you are human NOT a dog. But you are letting him treat you that way. Here is my GUESS. My guess is that it is not so much you can not bear to leave him but you are AFRAID to leave him. I know someone that was in a very similar situation, and if you are being abused mentally OR physically GET OUT NOW. Please do not think it iwll never happen again or it was just that one time. It will happen over and over again and nothing will change him. If there is no abuse yet and this is how he is it wil come, for your own sanity and possibly your life get as far away as possible and do not believe him when he says he will change because he might for awhile just long enough for you to be dependant on him again and he will be himself again.
Please get out for your own sake.
2007-02-05 15:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is very insecure. You shouldn't let him dominate you like that - he has no right to ban you from spending time with your friends (he's your man, not your father!!!). You need to start defying him - go out with your friends no matter what he says. And let him know that if he keeps controlling you, he WILL lose you (and MEAN IT - if he doesn't cut it out, turn him loose! you can do a lot better!)
You CAN bear to leave him!!! There are a lot of other guys out there who are better than him!!
2007-02-05 15:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first element you want to do is go with even if you actually favor this infant. in case you DO...what's extra major to you, the existence of an innocuous infant which will love you unconditionally for something else of your existence, and that you'll adore in go back ( there is no love that ought to adventure the affection you sense on your infant ) OR a existence with a guy that you've really no longer gotten to attraction to close all that a lot because you've no longer been jointly lengthy adequate, a existence with a guy that you gained't even very last very a lot longer? constructive, you do not favor to lose him him right this moment, yet you're literally not even constructive what you're jointly right this moment. Its compared to he's the merely precise guy contained in the international. so some distance as bringing up the communication with him, I strongly recommend that you wait until eventually you go with what you want, devoid of having his impression. then you fairly merely tell him you're pregnant and tell him what your plans are. So in case you go with you want to shop this infant, you tell him that. provide him the alternative to stroll away or be a portion of both truly one of your lives. If he chooses to stroll away, nicely, then you fairly understand besides, that he's not the type of guy you want on your existence. And, you've were given a good career so that you could likely cope with this on your man or woman. Make the alternative it truly is ideal for you, for sure. yet finally, in my opinion, a baby's existence and the courting/bond you may have with him/her is a few distance extra pleasing and major than a courting with a guy that would or no longer be on your existence for lengthy.
2016-11-02 10:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh, but you can't bear to leave him. Do you secretly enjoy being in a relationship with a controlling boyfriend? If you're not going to make a decision, one way or the other, about leaving him, then I'm going to make it for you. (OK, now, ask yourself this -- do I sound like your boyfriend? If so, the decision is simple -- you need to leave him right now, no ifs, ands or buts. Controlling boyfriends often become abusive fiancees and husbands.)
2007-02-05 15:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by tjacobmill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My bf used to be the same way but i keep threating to leave him and i think he realized that i needed my friends, but he also didn't get along with many of my friends but he got over that. I'd say leave him if you can't hang out with anyone else. No one is worth losing everyone else.
2007-02-05 15:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kunkee. You NEED to leave him-asap!!! True love is not jealous-nor is it controlling! You can bear to leave him. Has he threatened you if you were to try to leave? Call the cops to help you get out of there! Also, you may want/need to get a restraining order on him in court-asap! Once you are out of there-get one! Please!!! He has some kind of problem-insecurity or something in himself. I've had this "controlling" kind of man in my life-and has been out of my life for awhile now-thankfully! If you truly think that it would help-you could see if he would let you have your friends over-with him there. If he doesn't agree to that-then that is a 100 % sure sign for you to get out of there-and get your life. back. Even if he were to agree-it is time for you to leave, and get your life back!! Take care.
2007-02-05 15:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your friends you need help and talk with him remember there is power in numbers or set out a time with you friends and him to get a bite to eat and have him meet your friends perhaps he jealous but if he is controlling and abusive get out of the relation but if he is just controlling over friends and not what you wear or what you eat or what you watch etc then it must be jealousy, or he never met your friends, or he is protective
2007-02-05 15:39:51 · answer #9 · answered by yukonSLT3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO...Don'T put up with this crap. If he doesn't change it will only get worse!!! What do you think it will be like when your married?!? There are plenty of people out there who will love you, so don't think he is the only one for you. IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE YOU WILL TELL HIM TO CHANGE AND IF HE DOESN'T LEAVE HIM!
2007-02-05 15:41:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dereck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋