how is this paper any ideas to make it better whats need to be fixed?

Question

this is the topic Describe specific experiences and/or relationships in your life that inspired you to apply.
Describe the kind of influence you would like to have on the children and youth you would serve with City Year


I would like to become a City Year corps member to give back as much as i can to my community and
to meet new people.One of the main reason's i apply to this program is the condition of my
neighborhood.I live in Southwest Philadelphia and the neighborhood is going down hill.When i first to
the neighborhood in 1996 the area was a nice one.people felt safe to walk up and down the block ,go
tho the corner store and sit on their step late at night.This is no longer the case as the years passed
things have.Drugs and so called gangsters have turned a once safe neighborhood into a crime and
drug infested neighborhood.I have seen a young man killed twenty feet away from me and seeing
someone murderd chanes you forever.If i can inprove the community just a little bit and make it a safer
place for someone then whatever i have to do as a City Year member will be well worth it.
I would like to thinkk i could have a great iinfluence on the children that i will work with as a member
of City Year.I would like to teach them the value of hard work and perseverance. I would like the children i would serve to believe as i do that with hard work a person can become whatever they want to be.Ialso would like to be a role model for the youth i would be helping. I believe that if a good has a role model they can look up to someone who is a good example to them they will take their school work serious and take pride in their work.These things i feel will help me help the children grow as well as help myself grow.

Answer 1

I took what you wrote put it in Microsoft Word, fixed the little errors, and changed a few sentences.

I would like to become a City Year corps member to give back as much as I can to my community and to meet new people. One of the main reasons I applied to this program is the condition of my neighborhood. I live in Southwest Philadelphia and I have noticed that my neighborhood is going down hill. When I first came to the neighborhood in 1996 it was a wonderful area where people felt safe to walk up and down the block, go to the corner store, and sit on their front steps late at night. Sadly this is no longer the case as the years have passed. Drugs and so-called gangsters have turned a once safe neighborhood into a drug infested crime-zone. I saw a young man killed twenty feet away from me and it has changed me forever. If I can improve the community just a little bit and make it a safer place for everyone then I will do whatever I can as a City Year member. I would like to have a positive influence on the children that I will work with. I would like to teach them the value of hard work and perseverance. I would like the children I would serve believe as I do; that with hard work a person can become whatever they want to be, to be a role model. I believe that if a good kid has a role model they can look up to, someone who is a good example to them, they will take their school lessons serious and take pride in their work. These things I feel will help me help the children grow as well as help myself grow.

Answer 2

One of the main reason's i apply (change to" I have applied" or "I applied")

The above was just one of numerous examples easy to spot i your paper. Use a grammer checking program if you have access to one. Also, "i", should be a capital "I". Just print out your paper and proof read it. Use a pencil or pen to mark changes you need, or want, to make.