Help..I am a Grandma of a 2 yr old girl..my daughter constantly complains after babysitting her?

Question

I am a 49 yr. old Grandma...every weekend i usually babsit my 2 yr old grandchild a girl..I try my best to make sure i do all the right things..after babysitting...my daughter at some point later in day of pick up phones and complains of what time did i nap her..put her down for bedtime...spoiling...anything...this happens every weekend..i love this girl..and want to tell my daughter if she does not like it then..maybe i should not babysit...but i don't feel i deserve my daughters verbal abuse including swearing..and do still want to see my grandaughter..i am ready to throw my hat in the ring...and honestly do not know what to do..the last time i said i would not babysit because of complaining..they started her in daycare and i lost out on babysitting income..which was important as im on a fixed income...anyone with advise..or has been there..thanks

Answer 1

Well Grandma first of all you should not charge for watching your grandbaby.You are charging so in the moms eyes you are just a babysitter.(not a grandma).Since she pays you it is up to you to do as she says with her kid.If she says 12pm nap time then you should have her down for a nap at 12pm.If she says no spoiling then you should not spoil her.You are getting paid to watch her kid.You are getting paid to take care of her kid as she wishes for her to be taken care of.Your daughter is your boss.Im not saying I agree with her.I have 6 boys.My youngest is 2(26 months).I would do anything for my mom to watch my kids.To spoil them,to go against my advice.But I dont have that option.My mom passed away June 14 2006.My 2 year old remembers his grandma through pictures.He looks at them daily saying mamo(his way of saying grandma)thats what he called her since he was 10 months old.He pretends to talk to her on the phone everyday.I guess what Im trying to say is your grandbaby is lucky to have you and you might have to put up with bs from your daughter to keep a relationship with your grandbaby.Your grandbaby needs more then a few week memories of you that will fade away in a few years.Tell your daughter I said to chill the F@c out and be a daughter so you can be a grandmother and her kid is better off being taken care of in your home then in day care where there is colds,flu and other stuff going on daily.

Answer 2

Well I can come from your daughter's place. I myself have an almost 20 month old. My mother is 43 and well she has two younger children 6 and 3 1/2. I always give my mom grief about my little sister being mean to her... or her not watering down her juice and things like that. Sometimes us as parents forget that you "our mothers" have actually raised children perfectly fine. I know that nap time and bedtime are two very important things. If they take to late of a nap or to early of one then they either go to sleep to early or to late at night and that makes for a hard day the next day. Just sit down with your daughter and tell her calmly what bothers you. Try not to get to defensive or put her in a corner that would end up just making you guys argue. Seeing as you are getting paid for watching your granddaughter try to do things more your daughter's way. One thing your daughter has to remember though is that you are the grandmother and you will spoil her a little bit. I think that if the two of you just sit down together you will get things straightend out. Maybe she is taking her frustrations from something else out on you. Having a two year old is hard and it is worse when they go away for a couple of days and then have to get back to their normal schedule.

Answer 3

If your daughter wants to be so nit-picky then tell her to give you a schedule!
When I first began having my 3 grand daughters over an entire weekend (or just a few hours while the parents go to a move or something) my son, and his wife really didn't want to pick up the girls and have to straighten them back out again (they thought I would spoil them terribly). I had a discussion, with my son, and asked him "when you were little - were you and your siblings spoiled? I never spoiled you kids because I loved you. I love my grand daughters and I will not spoil them either". He felt a whole lot better - so I watched them. When they misbehaved - they were sent to a corner. I was a strict with them as their parents were and I still am.
The only way I spoil them is by buying building memories with them; we pick berries in the summer and cook a lot.
Now they don't worry about me watching them and are relieved they will be punished the same no matter if they're home or with me.
You need to treat your grand daughter like one of your own children - NEVER spoil her and her mother will feel a lot better leaving her with you.

Answer 4

You have to ask yourself if the additional income is worth the aggravation and verbal abuse you endure. If you really need the extra money...then try babysitting for other young couples with children in your neighborhood or church. They may appreciate you more. Then you can tell your daughter you would love to spend time with your grandchild and do things with her like all grandparents...but not be a sitter since you obvioulsy cannot please her. You might also remind your daughter that you raised her

Answer 5

I would talk to your daughter and ask her to give you a schedule that she would like you to follow. I would also take notes of the things you two did , what time she ate what time she napped. If you took her to the park or the mall that sort of thing.
I would also ask her if she feels you are not doing a good enough job and ask her if she feels you did a good job raising her. which i would answer obviously not because you don't treat me with respect. I doubt the money or seeing my grand daughter would be enough for em to allow my daughter to be little me and swear at me. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Hi Grandma, I also started taking care of my 8 month grandson, now 18 years later he still lives with me, My daughter was the same to me as your daughter is to you. And yes it is very hurtful. I also needed the income. I adopted my fgrandchild when he was 8 months old as my daughter thought her man was more important. hAVE YOU TRIED TALKING TO YOUR DAUGHTER? Your answer is probably--yes--right? What I did ,I told my daughter that--sorry I had plans for the weekend and did not need to be treated this way. She was very angery at first--I got another part--time job--my-D got very angery at me and told me that I had to be there when---SHE needed me--I told her--when she could treat me with the respect I deserved then I would consider babysitting for her again. All in all it took about two weeks for her to come around--why?--because "SHE COULD'N'T BE "FREE" on weekends. I hope I have helped youi. God Bless. My D and I are friends now.

Answer 7

I had babysit my brother for my mother and my niece for my sister. I ususally ask them what time should the kid take a nap, what should the kid eat and drink during the day. Just ask her questions of what she wants you to do during the day with your granddaughter...but i believe every grandma has a right to spoil their children. Shoot I am 37 weeks pregnant right now and my husband mom is already spoiling her grandchild lol.

Answer 8

What an ingrate you have for a daughter!!
Grandma has been taking our daughter for at least one night a week since she has been about 2 weeks old. It started out as a night's sleep for us but has become a routine nearly 2 years later. We are VERy VERY fortunate to have her do this for us. That being said , she does try to keep a routine with her but if it varies, so be it . We are just happy to have this luxury !

Answer 9

First, I'd say, when the daughter calls later in day, to not pick up. Don't talk to her at all for maybe a day or two, see if she calms down.
Second, I'd say it sounds like you have some latent anger and complaints too, and maybe this comes through to her, and she's reacting to it.
Hope you girls can work things out, for yourselves and a wonderful relationship with your granddaughter.

Answer 10

Maybe try asking your daughter for the schedule (routines) she has instilled and also point out that you love her and your granddaughter and while you try hard to respect her wishes you cannot actually do everything exactly as she does.... tell how frustrated you feel (gently) .... and that while you love seeing your granddaughter and want to watch her it makes it difficult when you feel like your going to be attacked if every thing doesn't go exactly as planned...