Some are saved by the lambs blood of Jesus, some by the Noodly appendage of the FSM, whats the difference?

Question

Some are saved by lambs blood, apparently jesus is some sort of lamb, i guess the analogy is cause the lamb is a clean animal from the old testement,
some claim that the human is saved by the flying spaghetti monster and his noodly appendages,

what is the difference

Answer 1

we're all washed in the sauce of the the great one like it or not - one day every knee will bend and every head will bow and every tongue confess the FSM is lord and king - all others will be under the Garlic Monster's power forever. I feel sorry for those who don't believe

Answer 2

There is no hell, only the love of the FSM.

By following the Eight I'd Rather You Didn'ts we can help others experience the love of the FSM sooner and end the hate caused in people's hearts by false prophets.


The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou *** When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):

1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Answer 3

Well, I don't know about any flying spaghetti monster, but the idea of Jesus as a Lamb comes from an ancient ritual. Most people in the English-speaking world are familiar with the Exodus story. God established a Festival then that He called Pesach, or (in English) Passover. A lamb was to be killed and eaten on the 14th of Hebrew month of Abib and its blood smeared on the doorposts of Hebrew homes to save them from the "final plague". Over years, this became a very important Festival to the Hebrews, taking on a variety of rituals that Jews still perform.

Now, Jesus was killed on the very day of the Passover. The Passover lamb was to be "without blemish" and the New Testament teaches that this was a foreshadowing of His sinless nature. His death saves us from the Second Death of the Lake of Fire just as the first Passover lamb saved Israel's firstborn and won them freedom from Egypt.

The difference, to me, is that Jesus as the Passover Lamb actually follows and makes sense, just as the meanings of the other Biblical Festivals.

Answer 4

Silly ramen, kicks are for trids. "Oh Muse, Sing in us and through us; tell the story of that man skilled in all the ways of contending; A wanderer, harried for years on end." "Ya gotta be what you IS and not what you 'ain't, 'cause when you IS what you 'ain't then you 'ain't what you IS!" ~Got to laugh at life, dont take it too serious, 'cause we wont make it out alive in the end.~ them damn noodles! (((((((+)))))))

Answer 5

Noodles are easier to clean up. If I became a christian, I just don't know how I would get that Jesus out of my carpet.

Answer 6

Now the church Christians have you quoting Paul, instead of Jesus.

Answer 7

i love the flying spaghetti monster.

Answer 8

If you knew Jesus, you wouldn't be asking. It is easy to mock that which you do not understand.

By the way, this flying spaghetti monster thing is so laaaaaaaame.

Answer 9

Age of tradition.

Answer 10

I am washed in the tomato sauce of the FSM.