Bully in training at 3?

Question

After pre-school, some of the moms let our kids run around in the gym. There are kids of all ages 5 and under (t-class down to infant siblings).

For some reason, my 3 year old son likes to play with the 5 year-olds. (he has a big sis who is 5, but not there in the gym). They like to play super-heroes. Unfortunately, my son is rough with the older boys. He doesn't understand that the older boys grab less hard (stage-"fight") and he has really hurt them.

The older boys understand that "he's little" (it's what their mom's say), but how do I teach my son to play more gently with the older boys.

I'm upset because I overheard one of the older boys say, "Uh-oh...that little guy is here again", but then they invited him to play!?!?!?

Any suggestions as to help teach my son to be more gentle with the older kids?

His teacher says that he's very well-adjusted with kids his own age and he and his siter are great when playing together.

Answer 1

I don't think he is a bully in training, unless you trully feel that he is intentionally hurting the other children. Which is not the impression that I got from what you said. I know this may seem over simplified, but explain to him what he is doing. At three, he can understand. Tell him it is hurting the other children and makes them not want to play with him as much. Then as strange as it may seem demonstrate what is and it not appropriate for the kind of play they are having and practice with him until he can tell the difference in "roughness" and he gets it right.

Answer 2

My daughter is three and her and I play "pretend" quite often. She knows the difference between real and pretend. We started out with pretend food and learning to pretend to eat it....ie. taking pretend bites and such. Then we pretend to shop at the pretend store. You can do this too replacing it with boy things. ie a real car vs a pretend car he has as a toy. That is the first step, teaching him the difference between real and pretend. After that, it will be quite easy to teach him that he is hurting the bigger kids. Good luck!

Answer 3

well just tell him that he is hurtin the other boys and just encourage him to play less violent... and just dont punish him just tell him that it is not right..