mark's exwife hates me and makes my life hell.now he left her becuase she was too controlling and made his life hell. but the way i see it she still controlling his life.they both have joint custody of thier son so she can't threaten to take his son away.for example she does not want me going to any of her sons school functions(for no good reason) my husband agrees as he says he does not want to make trouble for his son.he will never stand up for me no matter what she does.if she made his life so bad why does he let her get away with so much?why does it not bother him when he sees how upset she makes me by treating me like a doormat?
2007-02-05 14:11:10 · 5 answers · asked by suedees1996 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like he's in the middle of a no-win situation with his son. First off, ex-wife usually means lots of left over feelings (most bad) and you get to deal with the fall-out. When adding a child into the mix you get bigger messes. I hate to say it, but you should really keep to the back ground with this unless the child wants you to be there and says so. (No hinting or asking either!) If it is important to the child just go. Don't make a scene or fuss or be brazen about showing up, keep your focus on the child. You are the adult try to remember that she would probably not like anyone in your husband's life and it really isn't about you....it's about where she was, what she thought she had etc... You have to let go and remember what goes around comes around. Keep your house quiet and peaceful and accepting and you will reap the benefits in the long run. Vent to a trusted friend and help your husband by being supportive and not add to his stress level with his ex-wife that will also benefit you in the long run. Good luck & best wishes...
2007-02-05 14:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not right and your husband needs to respect you- not only as his wife, but as the important role you play as his son's stepmother. You have every right to attend school functions with your husband, as a stepparent to the child. The child deserves the support of all the adults in his life- that includes having you at functions and knowing you are there to cheer him on. The child needs to know that you are a family and by pushing you aside (both the ex and your husband)- the message is that you are not a part of the family. but in reality you are. You play an integral role in your stepson's life and it is likely that the ex is threatened by that, so she tries to eliminate you from the picture as much as possible. You need to tell your husband how you feel and that you are a parent also- maybe not biological, but by all rights, you care about his son and his son deserves your support too.
I empathize, because my fiance's ex hates me too and tries to do the same. But, my fiance includes me in everything from parent/teacher conferences to school plays. I love his daughter like my own and she loves me. We have a great relationship. Her mother won't give her cards and emails that me and my 4-yr old send her (how petty). This is her way of limiting her daughter's time with me. She is threatened and jealous because her daughter and I have a good relationship. It is sad because I am not trying to be her mother- only a good stepmother and parental figure that can provide a stable environment when she is with us. Your husband needs to understand that as a family, you all support the children and their activities- even you.
2007-02-05 14:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are going through this but he is a whimp.
Make it clear to him you are nobodys doormat and let her know next chance you get.
If he won't stand up for you and make it clear to his ex wife than he is no man.
You are still young find you a real man. One that appreciates you and one that appreciates you raising his child.
Your husband is what I call a runner. He runs from his problems (left ex-wife for being controlling) and expects you to be controlled by him.
Is that what you really want for yourself??
Good luck to you. You are going to need it.
2007-02-05 15:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by majajarany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does this because he did not heal before getting remarried. He is still hurt over the mistakes of his first marriage. I suggest that you go to some sort of counseling together. Try looking into DivorceCare it helped me tons.
2007-02-05 18:04:25 · answer #4 · answered by Val 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question alot of men dont have the balls to stand up to them and they have a hold on them because there is a child involved.
2007-02-06 09:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋