i am to marry a man thats divorced with a 8 yr old son next month.he very involved in his childs life(good thing) but has a very controling,bitter,jealous exwife that hates me(bad thing).the fact that hes so into his child means i have to deal with her on a daily thing(school activites,sports,phone calls ect)yes i could avoid her but that whould mean spending a great deal of time away from my husband as thier son has almost daily activites that my husband would never miss(and u can bet she will always be there)the worst part is she has him "by the balls" for some reason and he will not stand up for me.he says its better for his son if he does not "make waves" with her.will this get better when we marry?
2007-02-05 13:52:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The answer to your first question is:
Ready made problems.
2007-02-05 13:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by Sassygirlzmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You describe a VERY difficult situation. Your husband has to choose between you (his new wife-to-be) and her (the mother of his child). In his desire not to make waves, he is putting you second and giving her all the power. This will NOT get better with time because he thinks he is doing this for his son.
Do you want to get into a marriage where you will ALWAYS come in second? Your husband-to-be has to decide where his priorities are. Of course, he wants to be a father to his son. But, more importantly, he has to want to be a husband to YOU.
Sure, he has to deal with his ex-wife about issues concerning his son. But he must finally realize that you come first in his life as his new wife. It seems that he has not worked out all the issues that he still must have with his angry ex-wife. Be careful that you're not pushed into the background as he is busy catering to his son (maybe out of guilt) and being strung along by his ex-wife (who has him "by the balls").
This is not looking very good. Perhaps you need to insist that you go for couples counseling BEFORE you get married so all of this can be finally put on the table and looked at. The therapist could be a good objective person to offer information and support because your husband-to-be is too caught up in the situation to see what is right.
Good luck!
2007-02-05 14:33:31 · answer #2 · answered by The Author 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't stand up for you, do you really want to marry him?
I would really have a look into your heart because you need some one who will respect and love and doing so means to stand by your side and stick up for you.
I would also wait on the marriage until you can get the ex to back down.
2007-02-05 14:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by littlebrwneyemomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm sturdy question right here. Um lets see, Dolly,Luna,Cat,Boomer,China,Tuesday,Venu... Mercy,Grace,unity,Angel,Jupiter,Mercu... Cosmo,Sassy,Peaches,Cookie,quick,Sandy... Bubbles,Hyacinth,Sunny,Holly,Willow,,Sn... lacy,pink,Diamond,courtroom,June,April,Augus... favor Lavender Violet Ivy Leo Crystal Emerald Silver Ebony Bo Pluto Velvet Love Windy pal
2016-11-25 19:19:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not. It sounds like the ex isn't quite finished with him.
2007-02-05 13:56:55 · answer #5 · answered by Bobbie E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it wont get better with time...talk to him about it....let him know how you are feeling
2007-02-05 13:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by kauaichic420 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋