I've dating this guy (James) for about 10 years on and off...and he just ask me to marry him...but we haven't talk to each other in about 2 years...so I started talking to another guy during that period of time and I really like this guy alot...but the thing is I have a history with James and I know if I go ahead and accept his proposal that I will be happy...but on the other-hand...the other guy is the same way too...I don't want to make the wrong decision and mess up whereas I have to start all over again...but should I go ahead and marry him or shall I say no and be with the other guy...I really like the other and we have alot in common...please help me with this issue....if you have any negative feedback please don't respond
2007-02-05 13:34:57 · 10 answers · asked by Tiffy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmm..
I think if you can't say yes to the guy that proposes, then he might not be what you're wanting. It sounds like you lean towards the new guy since you say you have a lot in common.
I think if you hesitate long enough in answering James that he is going to realize you aren't wanting to marry him.
But think of it the other way. Would you marry the 2-year guy? Who do you see yourself with in another 10 years? Either of them?
Be careful and good luck.
2007-02-05 13:38:39 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a sheet of paper and right down all the important things that is important to you in life just for yourself not including James or the other man.
What about your faith?, do you want children?, your lifestyle are you a conservative stay at home type?, or are you a party girl do you like a big social life?> Do you need a lot of material things clothes, cars etc..or are you happy with the basics or somewhere in between? Do you think marriage is forever or just until the newness wears off? If you had a argument with James or the other man would you try and settle it or run to your room and wait for him to say I'm sorry first...? Are you able to forgive and forget and start over again when you have problems?
Marriage to some people in 2007 is not taken seriously like changing clothes...and getting new ones....Think about these things and hopefully you will know what you want not just from marriage but what you are all about deep inside before you think of marriage to anyone .
Best of luck and take your time before replying to either man,
Mama Jazzy Geri
2007-02-05 21:49:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Jazzy Geri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and James were together OFF AND ON for 10 years. Doesn't sound like it was made in heaven. If you haven't spoke in a couple years, then I would choose the new guy. You have no history with him, and maybe old worn-out history is not for you. Start a new life with the new guy. As far as I can see, James had his chance.
2007-02-05 21:42:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to get to know the other guy better before I make any life-changing decisions. Maybe there is something about him that James doesn't have. It's nice to have a lot in common, but sometimes there can be to much. Good Luck : )
2007-02-05 21:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by i_am_bee2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me break this down. You want to marry a guy whos had a lot of time with you, but then you want to date a guy who like, but barely knows you. If you question whether you want to date james, while likeing another man. then clearly your not ready for marriage. 2nd, how long have you known this other guy? its not like your gonna die if you don't marry someone right away. the best thing to do is to continue dating, and see what you really want in a guy, rather than marrying james just cause he has the advantage of 10 years knowing you. Don't let your emotions rule over you, and allow time for you to decide what you want to do, and don't let james or this other guy pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. if they respect you and care for you, they can wait on you. and if one doesn't, then you know he wasn't the right one...
2007-02-05 21:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by Charlie H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your in doubt do nothing,dont push your position either way,because you are not sure that only means that you are not ready to make a decision about either one of them give yourself plenty of time to see if there may be something that you like or dislike about them and if you are worried about one of them leaving you are better off anyway
2007-02-05 21:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say it's your choice but not really talking to someone then haullin off and marryin um seems a little sudden, talk to him for a while and see whats up.
2007-02-05 21:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by KK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to choose no matter what and it seems like you really dont wanna get married if you are kinda seeing someone else.
2007-02-05 21:38:53 · answer #8 · answered by *His_Playgirl* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make up your own mind. no one on here can feel what you feel.
life is waaay too short to play games. do it or move on.. easy as that.
2007-02-05 21:38:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U NEED to follow your heart.
2007-02-05 21:39:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋