Friend cuts self, drinks, and is only 12?

Question

My friend cut herself for the first time. She doesnt want me to tell anyone and she cuts her ankle so no one sees it. Shes been sorta Emo lately, and I dont want her to hurt her self anymore then she already has. She isnt to late for help, but how do i help? She has a drinking problem and when her parents arent looking, she drinks some shots of beer, and tequila. This isnt the first time shes dranken, and now she wants me to join her in her drinking. What should i do now? Cutting and alcohol? Can it get any worse? Please help me, she needs help...and fast

Answer 1

First, always validate her feelings. Tell her you understand her need for self control and you want her to have someone she can talk to who will listen with objectivity rather than judgement. Ask her to go with you to talk to a school counselor and ask for help becasue you care about how she feels and want her to find a way to be happy and in control rather than having to hide what has happened in her past. Cutting releases endorphins reducing the chemistry which is causing the depression. Medicine can remove the urges. It is a very serious sign of a risk of suicide and needs to be reported to a TRUSTED adult (maybe not her parents...) even if she will not go with you to talk to the school counselor or your own parents. Be prepared for mood swings but let her know you are there and set a date "to tell" giving her some limited time to think about it. Don't wait to long if you want her to be okay.

Answer 2

Ok girl-this is for serial so listen up...I'm totally not kidding right now ok... Every one gets pissed, everyone feels miss understood...and if you have no outlet for these feelings.. it builds up and tragedies occur. I'm prescribing a Life make over..doing what I say could be the best thing you ever did. Talk to your friends about it-if you don't have any really good ones, confide in a family member, maybe not your mom but a cousin or sibling or aunt?--In your case, finding some new friends wouldnt be a terrible idea. Take up a sport or something to get your agression out-when Im that angry, I go running or I kick box or play tennis-anything you want to do, its awesome I promise! Eat healthy and excersize on a daily basis if this is at all possible-sounds a little off topic but when you do these things you start to feel better about yourself-not to mention endorphins are released so it makes you feel twice as good. Start cleaning! This sounds totally lame I know but when everything around you is clean and organized, you feel like you can get more accomplished...also get rid of old stuff you dont need or want anymore, stuff from old bfs, old clothes old papers, anything. It can be refreshing, to "clean out your closet" Do you have a pet? If no then consider getting one..a fish a dog a bird a cat..whatever suits you...I have 3 dogs and they know all my secrets and they know everything that makes me sad or angry...they are good to confide in, I promise they'll never tell anyone what you say:) lol Get a new look--consider a wardrobe makeover or a new hair style or hair color-or a new way of doing your makeup. Spend a day at the spa or mall if this is at all possible...may be a tad costly but its completely worth it I promise-looking the way you want to look gives you a completely new outlook on life. Keep a journal--awesome way to vent-- Are you religious? I'm not trying to sell you on anything but I know from experience that talking to the big man upstairs lol can be so relieving cuz just when you think you have no one..you do. Maybe consider counseling or just going to see someone who is trained to help you...just talking to someone completely objective can be great. ....You are not a bad kid, because all kids have their angsty moments....just don't do anything that would even give your family the idea that you are a bad kid-im assuming your on break from school right now, so its the perfect time for this life makeover...stay out of trouble, stay single, stay safe, follow their rules, be respectful...when school starts again, try really hard, try your best... This may sound hard but your life will do a 180 from sucky to amazing if you do what this says I promise. Some people are delt a bad hand of cards, its what you do with that hand that says who you are. Have a good one, stay safe.

Answer 3

Do you have a school counselor you can talk to about this. Any information you provide to a counselor is supposed to be confidential unless one is at risk of causing harm to self or others. Your friend definitely sounds like she needs immediate intervention, particularly with the alcohol abuse. Where are her parents? Anyway, the only thing you can do is talk to her and try to get her to talk to someone. If she refuses then I would talk to an adult that you can trust to intervene - which I would think a school counselor could be of help. If she continues on this course things can definetly get worse and develop into an assortment of problems. You sound like a good friend but don't try to take full responsibility for getting her help. I strongly encourage you to talk to someone who can possibly help her.

Answer 4

yes it can get worse,,she proably has been drinking for a long time when her parents are not looking. Now her parents should know something is going on if she is drinking their beer, and taking shots of their tequila. If she is doing this quit often then she is going to have to have help, and also she is going to need to get in aa to stay clean, how for the cutting, she is doing this cause there is something that she is going through that he feels that she needs to cut, and drink, something is going on in her life , that she is not handling well, and is really getting to her, and so to cope she is cutting, and drinking which is not good coping skills at all. she need to go and see a professional right away before this gets any worse, and get some serious help, get some one to help her with that cutting and drinking. You are right she is too young for this, but i see a lot of it;

so that is what you are going to have to do for her, and please do not drink with her, or cut, casue she is just trying to get you to drink cause she does not want to drink alone. and you really do not want that problem yourself.I do not care if she wants you to tell or not, cause you need to tell there is something in her life that he can not cope with that she is doing this cutting and she really needs to stop both behaviors now, before they get worse, and she needs to find a lot healthier ways of dealing with the things that she can not deal with.

Answer 5

The most important thing is to be there for your friend, but she does need help. She needs to seek an adult's help. The biggest step would be for her to tell her parents, they need to know, and then they would, or at least should get her to a counselor so she can talk to someone with some experience with these issues.

I am a recovering cutter, and the boldest step I ever took was to tell my mom..hardest thing to do..but I did it. The first step to her getting better is for her to recognize that she has a problem and know that she needs help and actually wants to get better. I know that seems like a hard concept to grasp for a lot of people, the idea that someone would not want to get better, but the hardest thing for a cutter is to get better, and to actually fully want to get better. It takes that desire to get better in order to get better.

Just be there for her, listen to her, and try to get her to confront her parents. She doesn't even have to tell them verbally, I told my mom through an email.

I hope this helps!

Answer 6

I've read this one article about a girl who was in the same situation and even though she told her friends not to tell anyone, she was silently BEGGING them to. Also, your friend is twelve. The chances of her not knowing how to live her life correctly is very high. She needs guidance, or else her life will have more trouble in the future. If you can, tell her parents or a counselor, and even though she may be mad at you at first, she'll probably thank you later on in life.

Answer 7

Your friend needs help....her parents really do need to know what is going on...if it continues it will only get worse....maybe you could talk to your parents and figure out a way of letting her parents know without your friend getting mad at you.....

you really are stuck between a rock and a hard place......anything you do might make your friend mad at you..but if you let her continue on this path and do nothing...your friend is really going to suffer worse in the long run........her parents really need to know so they can get her the help that she is needing.........

what ever you do ..DO NOT FOLLOW HER LEAD!!!!!.....

Answer 8

You need to tell an adult right away. You should not feel responsible for trying to help her yourself - you can't fix it. It will get worse for her...a good friend does what is best for their friends, and what's best for her is adult intervention.

Answer 9

And just what do you get out of this "friendship"? You might want think about why you two are friends.

Answer 10

maybe you can convince her to talk to the school counseler/convince the school counseler to talk to her
& you need to tell her parents...I know you don't want to do this, but her parents have to know for HER sake