I have a son who will be 4 in March 2007. He throws tantrums like no other child I've ever seen. I've tried time outs, threatening to take away his privileges, even smacking him. His arguing back gets to me the most. Somedays, he makes me that mad that I'm afraid I'll hurt him. Someone help me please!!!
2007-02-05 13:04:25 · 4 answers · asked by Brea6 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
If you feel that your child is using tantrums as a tool to get his own way, give him verbal cues and use body language that says you don't do tantrums. Be aware that toddlers know how to push their parents' buttons. If you are a volatile person, it'll be easy for your child to trigger an explosion from you, ending in a screaming match with no winners. You send a clear message when you ignore his fits or walk away. This teaches him that tantrums are not acceptable. This is part of toddler discipline.
Frustration tantrums, on the other hand, require empathy. Take these emotional outbursts as an opportunity to bond with your child. Offer a helping hand, a comforting "it's okay." Help him out where he feels frustrated at not being able to accomplish a task. This way you establish your authority and build your child's trust. Direct his efforts toward a more manageable part of a task. For example, if he throws one of the common "I'll do it myself" fits about putting on his sock, you slip it halfway onto the foot, and he can pull it on the rest of the way. Sit down with him at eye level and caringly say, "Tell mommy what you want." That encourages him to use words or body language to communicate his feelings and needs so that he doesn't have to act them out in displays of anger.
Identify the trigger
Tantrums are usually at the worse time for parents: when they are on the phone, at the supermarket, or busy in some other way. Think about it. The very circumstances that make a tantrum inconvenient for you are what set your toddler up for an outburst. Keep a tantrum diary, noting what incites your child. Is he bored, tired, sick, hungry, or overstimulated? Watch for pre-tantrum signs. If you notice a few moments before the flare-up that your toddler is starting to whine or grumble, intervene before the little volcano erupts.
Don't take it personally
You are neither responsible for his tantrums nor for stopping them. The "goodness" of your baby is not a reflection on your parenting ability. Tantrums are common when a baby starts to strive for independence.
Stay cool
Temper tantrums in public places are embarrassing, often making it difficult to consider a child's feelings. Your first thought is more likely to be "what will people think of me as a parent?" If you feel trapped and embarrassed when your child is throwing a fit in a supermarket, don't lash out. He is already out of control and needs you to stay in control. Just calmly carry him (even if he's kicking and screaming) to a private place, like the bathroom or your car, where he can blow off steam, after which you can quietly settle her down.
Plan ahead
To expect a curious toddler to be the model of obedience in a supermarket when he is tired and hungry is an unrealistic expectation. Shop when you both are rested and fed, and let him be your helper from the safety of his belted shopping-cart seat. The morning is usually the best time for toddler behavior; in the afternoon he's more likely to be tired and hungry.
To help gain perspective on the tantrum stage, divide the fits into "biggies" and "smallies." Staying in the carseat is a biggie. It is non- negotiable and all the theatrics in the world will not free the safety-contained protester. But whether he should wear a red shirt rather than a blue one is a smallie. A clothing mismatch isn't worth a fight.
Occasionally, a very strong-willed child will lose control of himself during a tantrum. If often helps to simply hold him firmly, but lovingly, and say, "You're angry, and you have lost control. I'm holding you because I love you." You may find that after a minute or more of struggle, he melts in your arms as if to thank you for rescuing him from himself.
2007-02-05 13:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by Mum to 3 cute kids 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Neutering will mellow him out some so you may be able to keep his attention on you longer once all that testosterone is out of his system. If done properly, it can stop the humping as well. Pottying in the floor can be a territorial thing so it could possibly be fixed with neutering him but it could also be a lack of respect for your household so whether or not that would stop is pretty sketchy. All in all, I think it's a good idea to neuter him. I've seen dogs at eight years old get neutered and completely change their behavior in a positive way.
2016-05-23 21:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a doctor. He could have a serious psychological problem. If you are getting to the point where you are afraid you might hurt him. Walk away from him. Shut your bathroom door and cool off...my prayers are with you.
2007-02-05 13:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa W 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Try nanny 911. Just go to supernanny.com and the have advice and everything. I heard they can also come out to your house.
2007-02-05 13:15:31 · answer #4 · answered by charles_johnson92801 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋