My self-esteem is not bad, but I just don't think I am pretty enough to have a boyfriend. Look?

Question

Okay here's the deal.
I never have had a boyfreind, and yet all of my friends who I know for a fact are not the best looking people [to put it simply] somehow snag all of the guys. I am shy, and intelligent. I write poetry like I breathe air. I am my own person and don't allow people to tell me what to do. I am in love wth my best guy friend, and I don't know what to do about it. To put it simple terms: I am confused.

I don't know why I haven't ever had a boyfriend. Personality-wise, I am great. But, what about beauty-wise? Please be honest. Also, how old do I appear to look? Many people say I look older than what I actually am.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a277/lotrfanfreak/courtney-1.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a277/lotrfanfreak/fishnets.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a277/lotrfanfreak/Image078.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a277/lotrfanfreak/Image079.jpg

I don't tell the guys who I hang out with who I consider to be a possible boyfriend that I happen to like my best guy friend. They just seem to get other girls. I don't want to move on from my best guy friend, but I don't want to wait around with no one. I just want someone to be with until the time is right.

Answer 1

Your very beautiful, they are blind. I love your eyes. I do prefer long hair but I am not one of the guys. Guys are strange and hard to figure out at any age. You look like your 14 but girls tend to look younger than they actually are and that is not a bad thing. My son has had girlfriends between the ages of 14-16 and that is how old you appear to be. My son is 16

Answer 2

You're pretty enough, you even have classic features and you did a good job of choosing makeup.

Several clues:

You say you're shy
You say you're intelligent
You say you're you own person
You say you don't let people tell you what to do.

Most people confuse shy as not having self esteem or confidence. But I believe, as people are wired different, some of us just don't have the neural connnections that make conversation easy in social situations, nor awareness of non-verbal cues. We tend to let words be words and don't recognize they're a minor part of the social dance.

This defict in social awareness, tends to make such people spend more time learning, and less time adapting to others. You say you don't let people tell you what to do, maybe they've giving you clues.

Having a bf is not the be all-do all. I'm sure you've seen the scumbags they've bagged and the heartbreak after. Take heart, you haven't made those mistakes.

Let you best guyfriend know. If he's your best friend, he won't let it change the friend ship. And don't believe that crap about I'll lose my best friend, if you don't get along in a relationship, the friendship will be there when it's over. Real friends understand. If he dosen't he wasn't a friend in the first place.

Experiment, have fun.

Live, love, laugh often.

Oh yea, there's two kinds of humor, nonsense, and incongruity (sometimes called "dry" humor). Most people laugh at the former, and don't understand the latter.
I'll bet, you like the latter.

Answer 3

Ok. You look really cute. The bigger issue here is that you are questioning that. Insecurity is nothing new to the human experience, yet it is a relationship killer. It also is a libido killer. NOTHING turns people off faster. Trust me. Weak guys that constantly ask for a woman's permission to do anything (the "whipped" guys) are discarded like soda bottles by girls. Girls that constantly are unsure of their own essential goodness and positive qualities instantly nullify whatever actual attractiveness they might possess. You might be smoking hot (I mean "you" in a general sense), but you aren't going to keep a man of quality if you are constantly wrapped up in your own emotional baggage/insecurities. As far as the relationship thing, don't sweat it. Seriously. Do NOT make the mistake of judging yourself by everyone else's timelines. Just because everyone you know had sex at X age or had a boyfriend by Y age does NOT mean that you should have been in the same place. We are all walking our own path here on planet earth right? You might not be ready for a boyfriend or you just might not be ready for Mr. Right at this juncture of your life. Or the cards/dice just might not have fallen in your favor right now. Don't overthink this. Don't worry about others for validation or you will NEVER feel complete no matter how attractive you are (and you are quite good looking). Realize that people ALL have their own individual tastes and aesthetics . Take a group of people that are traditionally considered "beautiful" by "most" people's standards : celebrities. Start polling women about who they find handsome and throw out some names. Some women find Tom Cruise the hottest man alive. Some women say they wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. See what I mean? You can't put your self-esteem in other people's hands or you are just BEGGING to get crapped on.
Relationships are about communication and relating to people. Poetry is about having a certain sense of life and a willingness to express it in words. The two don't necessarily have anything to do with each other either. If you want to attract a quality guy, focus on making YOU feel comfortable in your own skin. Live the best life possible. Make goals and achieve them. Have a lot of fun on your own terms and not anyone elses. Be as well read and quirky as you want. Don't compromise who you are. Be comfortable being alone and self-reliant. Otherwise you will be clingy in a relationship and you will have a ton of heartbreak. Anyway...I could go on for quite some time about this. I hope some of my suggestions help you out.

peace

-E

Answer 4

You may not be Angelina Jolee but you are hot. With that facial structure, hair, and those smoking eyes, you can stop traffic. Go to the cosmetics counter of a good department store and learn how to do makeup and then go to the wal-mart and buy makeup cheap. Go to a good salon for the hair - even if you have to choose one other than your regular and get a new cut and shape. Something with texture that holds it's shape on it's own so it is not a lot of work. Because you mention guess age - I'm going to say 14 going on 17 as that is where your look should begin to head. So look at the popular 17 year old girls and then wear what they wear. If you follow their example on dressing now, by the time you are their age you will have their sense of style and others will copy you.

Answer 5

In my view u r pretty plz girl u need 2 look good 4 ur self not 4 others. Why do u think tht. There will be a line of guys waiting 4 u just dont stress it and go with the float. Give it time but never change ur self 4 someone who is not worth.

Answer 6

You are very beautiful. If I looked like you I would be in seventh heaven. Maybe other guys are getting the wrong vibes and think that you are dating your friend.
Tell your friend how you feel about him. Could be that he feels the same but is afraid to lose what he has now with you if you reject him.
In any case remember this. It is not the amount of dates you can get but being with the right person. Keep your chin up and things will turn out fine!

Answer 7

well a few months ago i was in the same predicama as you are. When I finally got a boyfriend I realized I didn't get with him because I liked him I just got with him because I wanted to have a boyfriend and feel like like all my other friends did, you kow so i didn't have to be the third wheel all the time. I don't think your ugly and you should really have more confidence in yourself. Guys like girls who are not afraid to express themselves openly. Since you appear to be very quiet they probably think your to stuck up, I know that because the same thing happened to me. Ok to make a long storey short, I did not feel any better with a boyfriend or without oneso i broke up with him. You should really wait to see if you have a connection with this guy, instead of just trying to look like all the rest of the couples you see.

Answer 8

I don't know how old you are but why do you feel you HAVE to have a boyfriend? You are a very attractive young woman and when the "right" person comes along, believe me, you'll know. Just be yourself, smile, be open and friendly. From looking at the pictures, you look to me like about 16. It's really sad, though, that people still dwell on a person's looks yet, instead of what's really inside.

Answer 9

I'm just going to say this.. you are absolutely beautiful, and you do not need a boyfriend to complete you, I'm sure you are very talented and I am going to sayyyy you are about 14*15 I'm a mom so I think I can guess right.. don't worry about a thing, men come and go they will be all over you by the time u hit high school! Pretty eyes!

Answer 10

First off, I think you look like you're 17-23 age wise.
You're pretty, but I think you're just the type that is that is hard to approach. Unless it is totally out of character, try smiling at people more. Maybe it's just your pictures, but you look very serious to me. You also have really nice eyes, so be sure to look people in the eye when you're talking to people.
In conclusion, your looks are fine. You're not the prettiest girl I've ever seen, but I think your features are very nice and you appear healthy. Maybe you haven't had any boyfriends yet because you are too shy.This sounds cheesy, but be confident when you interact with other people. ^ ^